I've lost my self, I feel like i made a big mistake

Original post by MrsSheldonCooper

Then why don't men wear the hijab or are made to cover up?

I would to tell you about what Islam says about modesty for men and women, its a really detailed topic...it takes a lot of time to study them.
Islam does teaches men to cover up, there are specific and different rules for men and different rules for women.

For man and Woman:
Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qura'an:
“O children of Adam! We have indeed sent down to you clothing to cover your shame, and (clothing) for beauty and clothing that guards (against evil), that is the best. This is of the communications of Allah that they may be mindful.Al-Qur’an · Surah A’raf · Ayah 26

Reply 61

El.Guapo

11

I'm not a muslim but I understand not all believing/practising muslim women wear them.

I would have say that you should not feel forced to do anything you do not feel comfortable with...

Reply 62

senoritatimaa

3

Original post by RobML

Then why is a hijab necessary?
Why not just teach women to also lower their gaze?

Women are taught that too...but

Allah (swt) made Adam (as) -(man) with clay. Allah sent prophet Adam(as) in paradise, now Adam (as) was feeling lonely and he made dua to Allah (swt) to send some company. Thereafter Allah (swt) made Hawa (as). Hawa (as) was made from the rib of Adam (as). In Islam Allah made women weak,and men strong. Allah commands men to protect women...
Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.
Because women are delicate they have to be covered in a certain way, hijab is not about oppression but freedom from evil eyes.

Reply 63

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by _gcx

Yes. It was intended, essentially, as "protecting" women from "being lured" by men, fueled by the archaic (bigoted, etc.) belief that women are weaker, and more emotionally/physically fragile, than men. (I still have little idea where that belief originated from) At least, that's how I interpret that teaching.

and that's why i don't believe in it, and i dont want to wear it, but if i don't im over with. i'd have to sign away my life to another man who feels entitled to dictate my every move, because you are taught that as the husband you have the ultimate power, as the father you have the ultimate power. why do i have to live my whole life answering to someone just cos they have a dick and i dont?
whether i stand up for myself or not, i get the same ending. the difference is when.

it's obviously not working because if it were then you would never hear of a covering woman being raped
but you do, a lot
now the other 'reason' is that God said so - well he never did, at least not explicitly, just because people interpret it to mean that doesn't mean their interpretation is fact

im just tired of being told i am worth less in body but equal in spirit, that's ********
im tired of being told i am a diamond that needs to be kept safe and away, even though diamonds are always on rings, symbols of wealth
im tired of being told unwrapped sweets are worthless because im not a sweet, im not candy or jewellery or any thing. i have a beating heart, i have feelings and emotions - im not just a body that i have to hide

all because the honour of the family lies in the woman's hands? because if your great aunt stole something it means you are genetically a thief? because that's what they believe. oh no but the boy, the boy can **** 20 *****es and no one will bat an eye, but if the girl even lays her eyes on a man she's a whore. it's ****ing pathetic. don't tell me that's a lie because i know its not

i dont want to go out wearing nipple stickers and a thong before you guys start accusing me of wanting to attract men or commit sin, clothes dont come with self respect and dignity. sure men may find hair attractive, but some have a hijab fetish. what are you going to do about that?

of course, it doesnt matter what i think because it means nothing anyway.

Reply 64

senoritatimaa

3

Original post by RobML

Shaming someone is a very manipulative way to force them to do something, you know

My intention is not to shame nor force anyone, im sorry if you thought that.

Reply 65

Profesh

20

Original post by senoritatimaa

You ended up going to the club...you fell into shaytaans trap.

If such a cornerstone of British culture is so anathema to you, then perhaps you should consider re-locating to Saudi Arabia.

Reply 66

senoritatimaa

3

Original post by Profesh

If such a cornerstone of British culture is so anathema to you, then perhaps you should consider re-locating to Saudi Arabia.

one day, i hope :smile:

Reply 67

ACyclist

We know not to touch a hot stove as many of us had parents who said. Be careful. Don't touch that, it's hot. And some of us touched it by accident and felt the waves of repercussion. Some of us touched it deliberately just to see and found out just how sudden and badly hot metal scolds. Dipping your toes into the waters of life before diving in blindly is fine! It's natural. It's wise. And you sound like you have a good head. You can reason and see things clearly from many different perspectives.
Life is a journey. You are in control!! There are an infinite number of things, people, places, ideas, adventures, avenues and paths.

All we can do and all that we can hope for ourselves is that we tread wisely. Surely. And think before we leap. Take each day as it comes and do your best to find a little happiness, a little inner smile and warmth out of the things THAT YOU DO GET RIGHT AND THAT FEEL GOOD.

Everyone stumbles a little from time to time. Just try to catch yourself before you fall and don't trip over the same spot twice xx

(Not a fan of "night clubs" in general)

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 68

trapking

20

@mariam687

Wow, this is exactly what i was saying yday!

Wtf look at the responses saying it's a sin smfh.

To OP go and enjoy your life don't be scared to do what you want to do you're only human like everyone else. Go and live life the way you want to (stop living in fear just because of ideologies from the 18th-19th century).

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 69

trapking

20

Original post by senoritatimaa

one day, i hope :smile:

you're crazy. Literally puzzles me how some people still think like this.

Reply 70

username1402543

20

Original post by trapking

you're crazy. Literally puzzles me how some people still think like this.

The only person thats crazy is you.

Reply 71

trapking

20

Original post by MiszShortee786

The only person thats crazy is you.

At the fundamental level we are human beings. Religion is a guide not to be taken literally to the word.

You're basically saying don't do X and Y because it's a sin which causes people to live in fear just like OP. If she wants to not wear a hijab that's fine, if she wants to go clubbing that's fine too. She is only human. It makes me sad when i see families ready to disown their own children because of stupid ideologies like this. Don't get me wrong I respect different cultures but when you start restricting people's life like this that's when its not cool. Isn't the whole point of life to accept people's differences as human beings and be at peace with them.

Reply 72

MrsSheldonCooper

20

Original post by senoritatimaa

I would to tell you about what Islam says about modesty for men and women, its a really detailed topic...it takes a lot of time to study them.
Islam does teaches men to cover up, there are specific and different rules for men and different rules for women.

For man and Woman:
Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qura'an:
“O children of Adam! We have indeed sent down to you clothing to cover your shame, and (clothing) for beauty and clothing that guards (against evil), that is the best. This is of the communications of Allah that they may be mindful.Al-Qur’an · Surah A’raf · Ayah 26

And yet it doesn't say anything about Muslim men having to cover their hair?

Original post by trapking

@mariam687

Wow, this is exactly what i was saying yday!

Wtf look at the responses saying it's a sin smfh.

To OP go and enjoy your life don't be scared to do what you want to do you're only human like everyone else. Go and live life the way you want to (stop living in fear just because of ideologies from the 18th-19th century).

Can't stand the religious ones who pretend to know it all.

Reply 73

MrsSheldonCooper

20

Original post by MiszShortee786

The only person thats crazy is you.

Lmao no. At least this guy doesn't ***** about girls who choose not to wear the hijab and call them promiscuous like you do.

Reply 74

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

little background info; i'm 18, female, moved out of a very conservative Muslim household to study in a different city, getting a lot of **** for it too but that's not the point

the point is I went out with my housemates last night to celebrate an occasion. we went to a club. i wanted to go because every time they told me to go, (they weren't pressuring or anything) i would say no even though i really wanted to. i was scared. of my parents, of them finding out. i also felt out of place, since I wear a head covering.

after many problems caused because of speculation that i was going to go out or take my scarf off, i was like you know what - since im getting **** for it already I might as well do it. And i did. I took the scarf off because 1) i dont believe in it, 2) if i WAS wearing the scarf i would a) present islam in a negative light and b) not enjoy my self and feel paranoid and feel out of place and everyone would stare at me

but the whole bus journey there, i felt so weird. it didn't feel like i'd done anything drastic. but i kept mentally beating my self up about it. i kept calling my self names and cheap and weak because i 'gave in' - it hurts even though i know i wanted this. I guess i feel bad because i let down my parents. i enjoyed the night though. but coming back, letting it all sink in, it didn't feel real. in fact, if it wasn't for my aching joints i would've thought it was all a dream.

i've been in bed all day. i didnt go to lectures. i feel like ****. i did not drink, or have sex, or even talk to boys, technically i did nothing to be 'ashamed' of, but i still feel horrible. i've just been crying and crying. i only left the room to go toilet. i still haven't eaten since last night really.

i also have another problem. i took it off, and obviously a lot of uni students were there. some of whom are friends or acquaintances. i felt like it was a one time thing, i'd put it back on. but how can i? wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? of course, there's also the point that if i DO fully take it off, my parents WILL find out - i've seen a few former friends back from my high school, who know people who know people who will get it to them.

I'm just scared, and i feel stupid and i hate myself right now. i just want to end it all but that would do no good to anyone . i dont know what to do or how to feel.

can anyone give me some advice? or atleast calm me down? please?

I hope I don't come off as someone thats attacking you or judging you, this is my advice. First of all I hope you get better really soon, try going to the park, watch cat videos or speak to a friend you can trust. Unfortunately many muslims that wear hijabs seem to think they are better than the non-hijabis which is completely wrong, no one has the right to judge you. No human can force you to wear the hijab, if you don't want to wear it.....don't. I have many muslim friends that didn't wear the hijab before but wear it now. I think its that you feel guilty since you probably have worn it the majority of your life and are scared off what your parents are going to say. If you have questions about why women and men wear a type of hijab watch nouman ali khan videos. I hope this is of some help to you and I pray for that uncomfortable feeling to be gone.