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Why do people say "You'll find someone soon"?

Why do y'all say this to me and to others in fact?
Why?
It doesn't make anything better! It makes things worse if anything as we know we're not gonna find someone soon (well I know I won't anyway) so it just hurts that they say I will when I won't!
You don't know what's gonna happen! You don't know the aspects of their life, but yet you know that they'll get a SO soon?
How?

I'm baffled by this concept!
Please explain!
Thanks!

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Reply 1
Avatar for user382
user382
17
They're just trying to give us hope bro. :redface:

https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-5b5f1b61b1e98b5af490f32b8e27db49-c?convert_to_webp=true
Reply 2
Avatar for Rum Ham
Rum Ham
20
I think it's just one of those sayings like "everything will be fine" - they don't know for sure that everything will be fine but there's a good chance things will be.
Just like it could be possible you'll meet someone soon given the fact you are young, have a job, go to uni etc. You're right, no one knows the future. You don't know for sure that you won't meet anyone soon just like people don't know that you definitely will meet someone soon. Best thing to do is to just take things a day at a time and try and just live and enjoy your life.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by FireFreezer77
Why do y'all say this to me and to others in fact?
Why?
It doesn't make anything better! It makes things worse if anything as we know we're not gonna find someone soon (well I know I won't anyway) so it just hurts that they say I will when I won't!
You don't know what's gonna happen! You don't know the aspects of their life, but yet you know that they'll get a SO soon?
How?

I'm baffled by this concept!
Please explain!
Thanks!

I also agree, it seems a bit grim but people just say it when you get rejected/feel lonely as they probably don't know what else to say. It's sad but there are definitely people who die lonely.
Sometimes the truth hurts. And this is not directed at you, but genuinely myself. If I spent less time on the internet I think I would achieve a lot more and be a different person. And yet here I am. It is easy to get caught up in something and lose sight of reality and then you look back and regret the whole thing.

But more on topic, that stuff is rubbish and don't believe it for a second. There might not be someone for everyone, or for everyone to find someone eventually, blah blah blah. It's up to you to do the best you can. There are some limiting factors in life that some people have that others just don't know how difficult some things are, and from some people's point of view other people have it so easy. Each person has to figure out what they need to work on and go on to do just that. These things don't just happen by magic, as a guy (in general) in particular you need to be 'out there' and doing **** and figuring out how to have friendships as well as relationships. If anyone ever tells you that you're going to find someone eventually, just laugh or say 'ha' and change the topic and don't believe it - make it happen.
Reply 5
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Because people need some sort of comforting to gain some confidence. If we said to you "you won't find a girl" that would just be reiterating what you are thinking the whole time. However, we want you to feel confident because that's a very important part when it comes to dating. You see this sentence "well I know I won't", then you go on to say that you don't know what will happen, how do you know for sure won't find that girl then? You don't know if tomorrow you'll meet the girl of your dreams. The idea is not to give you false hope, but to make you not overthink situations like this. You're what 18 or 19 years old? Still a young man with his life right in front of him. Enjoy life and make sure you're comfortable living it. If you wake up tomorrow thinking negatively then that's how your day will be like. You're genuine, honest, nice, caring and these are good traits to have. People tell you this every day on here but you need to realise this yourself, then you'll start to feel confident :smile:
Reply 6
Avatar for Fenneko
Fenneko
20
Because optimism is in the mainstream.
Reply 7
Avatar for SMEGGGY
SMEGGGY
21
Original post by FireFreezer77
Why do y'all say this to me and to others in fact?
Why?
It doesn't make anything better! It makes things worse if anything as we know we're not gonna find someone soon (well I know I won't anyway) so it just hurts that they say I will when I won't!
You don't know what's gonna happen! You don't know the aspects of their life, but yet you know that they'll get a SO soon?
How?

I'm baffled by this concept!
Please explain!
Thanks!


Because you'll never find someone is much more comforting....

:rolleyes:

Posted from TSR Mobile
:ditto:
For your own good
It's the same as "everything will be fine" (as @Spock's Socks) said. I don't think most people (including myself) realise how much of an empty and meaningless statement that is to someone who is suffering.

I've been going through a lot lately and every time someone says "everything will be fine" makes me want to smash my head against a wall, yeah there is a chance everything will be fine (just like there is a chance you will find someone soon) but to me everything being fine seems like a small chance and it's more likely things will turn for the worst, but do you know why I think like that? Because I'm a pessimistic b*tch.

Stop being so pessimistic, easier said than done I know. Please, and I mean PLEASE stop depending on someone else to make you happy. Yes things are probably 100% better when you have someone supporting you, but that doesn't mean you can't get through things alone.

The best way to be happy is by being comfortable with yourself, being comfortable being alone. There really isn't anything wrong with being alone at this point in your life because your really ****ing young believe it or not. Develop yourself as a person, develop your personality, go out alone, travel alone, go treat yourself alone, do things ALONE. When your comfortable alone, and you lose that debilitating need for someone to fill a void in your life, it may be in that moment you find someone.

A person should add to your life, not be your whole entire life.

Spoiler

(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by SeanFM
Sometimes the truth hurts. And this is not directed at you, but genuinely myself. If I spent less time on the internet I think I would achieve a lot more and be a different person. And yet here I am. It is easy to get caught up in something and lose sight of reality and then you look back and regret the whole thing.

But more on topic, that stuff is rubbish and don't believe it for a second. There might not be someone for everyone, or for everyone to find someone eventually, blah blah blah. It's up to you to do the best you can. There are some limiting factors in life that some people have that others just don't know how difficult some things are, and from some people's point of view other people have it so easy. Each person has to figure out what they need to work on and go on to do just that. These things don't just happen by magic, as a guy (in general) in particular you need to be 'out there' and doing **** and figuring out how to have friendships as well as relationships. If anyone ever tells you that you're going to find someone eventually, just laugh or say 'ha' and change the topic and don't believe it - make it happen.


I think for the most part you can't actually make relationships/ friendships happen. You can meet by chance, or by forcing yourself to talk to someone but the rest is purely a personality thing and some luck. Which is why it's so important to love your personality and develop it.
Because it leaves out a gap for something that may occur, it gives people hope and determination and i guess something to look forward to, plus i guess in some cases its alot nicer than saying you won't find anyone, but if you believe in destiny and fate there's bound to be someone out there for you.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
I think for the most part you can't actually make relationships/ friendships happen. You can meet by chance, or by forcing yourself to talk to someone but the rest is purely a personality thing and some luck. Which is why it's so important to love your personality and develop it.


Exactly right :smile:
Original post by stefano865


Maybe, kinda doesn't work for me though :cry2:

Same here man!
Original post by Spock's Socks
I think it's just one of those sayings like "everything will be fine" - they don't know for sure that everything will be fine but there's a good chance things will be.
Just like it could be possible you'll meet someone soon given the fact you are young, have a job, go to uni etc. You're right, no one knows the future. You don't know for sure that you won't meet anyone soon just like people don't know that you definitely will meet someone soon. Best thing to do is to just take things a day at a time and try and just live and enjoy your life.

Posted from TSR Mobile


But the only know who utterly knows is the person themselves?
Well I wouldn't call it uni tbh, more like sitting in a room on a laptop all day :/ Am dropping out of that though thanks goodness!
Nope not at all!
Well I'm rather sure of it tbh.
But yeah i guess so, thanks! :smile:
Just to give you hope.
I was going to put "Because you will find someone"
But after reading all these posts, erm.. I guess I'm wrong.
Original post by UWS
Because people need some sort of comforting to gain some confidence. If we said to you "you won't find a girl" that would just be reiterating what you are thinking the whole time. However, we want you to feel confident because that's a very important part when it comes to dating. You see this sentence "well I know I won't", then you go on to say that you don't know what will happen, how do you know for sure won't find that girl then? You don't know if tomorrow you'll meet the girl of your dreams. The idea is not to give you false hope, but to make you not overthink situations like this. You're what 18 or 19 years old? Still a young man with his life right in front of him. Enjoy life and make sure you're comfortable living it. If you wake up tomorrow thinking negatively then that's how your day will be like. You're genuine, honest, nice, caring and these are good traits to have. People tell you this every day on here but you need to realise this yourself, then you'll start to feel confident :smile:


But all it doesn't is make me feel even less confident!
But that's what this makes me think anyway so I doesn't make any difference!
I've never felt confident tbh (well I did once but that lasted for a week and was then crushed!)
I know o won't find her because I have no confidence, I look awful, I'm super introverted (can't hold a convo in person), have no interestes that anyone else has, super insecure, self conscious, dumb etc...
I'm 19.
Well depends on certain circumstances in my life really. May not have much of a life to live.
I hate life most of the time and just want it to end :frown:
But when I wake up happy I almost always end up depressed by the end of the day (like today for example).
Thanks but are those really true?
Well I hope so tbh!

Sorry for being negative but I'm just feeling really depressed about things currently.
Its an attempt at reassurance and hope. Ofc they dont really know, but better than I dont think you will find anyone.

Ofc you may or may not find someone. It also depends a bit on luck, what you have to offer, what your requirements are and what efforts you make to find someone.
(edited 7 years ago)

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