The Student Room Group

Guys - how would you react to this?

I live in an apartment complex and saw a guy in the concierge earlier - he checked me out and I found him cute but didn't think much more of it. He went out of the building and then came back and I overheard him telling the receptionist his flat number which happens to be in the same building as me. I left the concierge, went back to my flat, and then he was walking in to my apartment building as I was leaving it a few minutes later. I held the door out for him as he had lots of stuff, he thanked me and I said it was OK. I think he is so cute and I want to know him but I don't want to come off as desperate. Right now I know nothing about him, just his flat number. I don't know if he is single but I kinda got the feeling he found me attractive. I was in my gym gear which I guess helps, and I was standing next to him at one point and it was a little awkward for both of us which I don't think it would have been if he found me ugly. I'm usually quite good at judging whether someone is in to me but for all I know he could be living with a girlfriend. I know there's a chance I may bump in to him again, but there are usually so many people around the complex that I may even struggle to pick him out/ have forgotten what he looks like.

I would like to get my message across effectively but I don't want to have my pride hurt, say if he is taken or is not interested. I also don't want to come off as easy. I was thinking of slipping a note in his letterbox/under his door to ask him out. This could go one way or the other though and if he declines/doesn't respond at all I'm not sure I could face the embarrassment of potentially seeing him around.

Would you find it weird if you received such a note?
Original post by Anonymous
Would you find it weird if you received such a note?
*Personally, yes, definitely. Just ask him if he wants to go for a drink next time you see him.*


(To be fair I've just seen that you've asked for guys opinions and I'm a girl..)*
(edited 7 years ago)
I'd be thrilled to receive such a note, even if I was already attached or something, in which circumstance I would be really nice about the whole thing.

There's pretty much no way to begin or continue a romantic relationship without a certain amount of awkwardness. It's just the price you have to pay.
Original post by Anonymous
I live in an apartment complex and saw a guy in the concierge earlier - he checked me out and I found him cute but didn't think much more of it. He went out of the building and then came back and I overheard him telling the receptionist his flat number which happens to be in the same building as me. I left the concierge, went back to my flat, and then he was walking in to my apartment building as I was leaving it a few minutes later. I held the door out for him as he had lots of stuff, he thanked me and I said it was OK. I think he is so cute and I want to know him but I don't want to come off as desperate. Right now I know nothing about him, just his flat number. I don't know if he is single but I kinda got the feeling he found me attractive. I was in my gym gear which I guess helps, and I was standing next to him at one point and it was a little awkward for both of us which I don't think it would have been if he found me ugly. I'm usually quite good at judging whether someone is in to me but for all I know he could be living with a girlfriend. I know there's a chance I may bump in to him again, but there are usually so many people around the complex that I may even struggle to pick him out/ have forgotten what he looks like.

I would like to get my message across effectively but I don't want to have my pride hurt, say if he is taken or is not interested. I also don't want to come off as easy. I was thinking of slipping a note in his letterbox/under his door to ask him out. This could go one way or the other though and if he declines/doesn't respond at all I'm not sure I could face the embarrassment of potentially seeing him around.

Would you find it weird if you received such a note?


I'd love recieving such a note. Do it. *He chants "Do it!" over and over again*
Reply 4
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I'd be thrilled to receive such a note, even if I was already attached or something, in which circumstance I would be really nice about the whole thing.

There's pretty much no way to begin or continue a romantic relationship without a certain amount of awkwardness. It's just the price you have to pay.


Original post by Mvine001
I'd love recieving such a note. Do it. *He chants "Do it!" over and over again*

Ok thanks for your replies! Would it be best to slip it under his door or letterbox in the reception?
Reply 5
Original post by CharlieH1992
*Personally, yes, definitely. Just ask him if he wants to go for a drink next time you see him.*


(To be fair I've just seen that you've asked for guys opinions and I'm a girl..)*


Haha, yeh I think it may be creepy coming from a guy. Although if he sent me a note, despite the fact I'm already in to him, I reckon I'd be flattered either way. Coming from any other guy though I'm not so sure!
Original post by Anonymous
Ok thanks for your replies! Would it be best to slip it under his door or letterbox in the reception?


Door it.
i think that actually sounds like a reasonable idea. then again I think anytime a girl asks a guy out rather than the other way around is good because where I'm from it doesn't seem to happen that often and I dont see why just cos were guys we always have to put ourselves out there and make the effort.
Reply 8
What exactly should I be looking to write in this note? I'm rubbish at this
I would be cautious about writing a note if I were you, what if he has a girlfriend and she picks up the note. He might have a girlfriend that does not even live with him but happens to be around when you slip it under. Now odds are he's single, but I think it would be easier & safer for you to ask him in person. Don't worry you have to go pretty far before a guy thinks your desperate, most men are flattered by the thought even if they can't if they are already with someone. A note might go down ok and if your reasonably sure he's single (though sometimes someone looks single then you find out after ages they are with someone) then sure go for it, he will probably find it ok but I think can come across a bit weird or create a weird situation, a knock back is probably easier in person than a weird conversation over - did you put this note through my door, or no reply then seeing each other. Instead next time you bump into him could just hang out a question like does he know where a local bar is as your at a loose end/bored/wish to kill some time as your in your flat by yourself, then judging on perceived atmostphere (he may just be nervous which is ok) just gently enquire if he would like to come too, i.e he might be bored also/alone, etc but ask him if he would like to go to bar first, not whether he is alone as he might not know what you are driving at. So perhaps think of this as another course of action instead. To come across desperate to a guy you basically have to throw yourself at him in a very direct perhaps even sexual way, I think it rare for females to come across as desperate, its almost always a perceived fear, men nearly always welcome the interest and are relieved they don't have to do all the work for once. Just go for it.
Bump
Reply 11
Just so you know, a concierge is an employee of an apartment building, hotel, or office building with duties similar to those of a receptionist. It's not what you call the lobby.
Reply 12
And just ask him out in person. I'd be flattered by either, but I'd be more interested in going out with a girl that talked to me in person than one who slipped a note under my door.
Original post by db10
And just ask him out in person. I'd be flattered by either, but I'd be more interested in going out with a girl that talked to me in person than one who slipped a note under my door.


It's very unlikely that I'll bump in to him again though :frown:

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