What if the guy who 'raped me' doesn't know that he raped me

But if she did kiss him then she should have stopped him and said no? Kissing someone does give a hint that you're interested in them in a intimate way. She hasn't mentioned she tried to stop him etc? If she didn't did fair enough rape its rape. As she told him to stop but he continued to do so. In my opinion, kissing does majority of the time start of to doing other sexual things together.

Kissing does not give a carte blanche to full intercourse without consent. This is not 1953.

But if she did kiss him then she should have stopped him and said no? Kissing someone does give a hint that you're interested in them in a intimate way. She hasn't mentioned she tried to stop him etc? If she didn't did fair enough rape its rape. As she told him to stop but he continued to do so. In my opinion, kissing does majority of the time start of to doing other sexual things together.

What do you mean by 'lead him on' and how do you know he has no idea? If you were so drunk you couldn't do anything about it, how did he know you wanted sex?

Personally, I would have wanted to tell him first. That may not be possible for all sorts of reasons. Not everyone takes well being told that they raped someone, for one thing...

Having told other people, it may or may not get back to him. He may get in touch with you about it, or he may not.

Ultimately, you've told your truth. How supportive have the friends been? Have you looked for other sources of support?

(TSR is unlikely to count: the rape apologists are going to start blaming you before too long.)

I don't agree that kissing most often leads to sex.

This is the problem. OP regrets it.

By even daring to confess that you 'lead him on' means you gave all the signals to have sex. You have not even hinted at the fact that you said no. You were most likely both drunk, had a ons and now you regret it because you feel like a slut - not saying you are one. You are not.
But that is the way you're forcing yourself to feel.

Therefore, at this current climate it is easy to say rape. The severity of rape is being significantly diminished as a result.

You were not raped. You had sex which you in hindsight, regret.

Happened a while ago, we're at the same uni, shared halls, we used to be friends, had sex once previous to this event, and I feel I lead him on and it was my fault because I was too drunk to do anything about it. I know he raped me, but he has no idea.
I saw a video today called 'casual rape' and it brought this all back. But that's exactly what it was, and now I don't know what to do and how to react.
I have recently told my friends (the first people to know after 10 months) and feel worse than before when no body knew purely from the fact that I'm worried, terrified actually, they will say something and he will deny it/ tell everyone I'm spreading ****. What do I do??

I'm not going to abuse you, brah.

I was on about saying 'no' I'm general, which can be applied to loads of situations.

Also, as I said to someone else, her flirting with him doesn't make what he did okay, if that is what he did. I'm also sick of this 'leading them on' crap that seems to be prevalent in a lot of rape cases. But, OP should give us more details lol.

he also took a snapchat of me giving him oral sex and sent it around to his friends that same night which I didn't know till the next morning

Well, that's your opinion then isn't it?

Exactly, so why on earth are you using your opinion to inform a woman that she wasn't raped when she feels she was? Especially considering when your opinion is undoubtedly a minority, if you think that most kisses lead to sex.

SHE made a thread about it which obviously means people will comment their views and opinions if that bothers you, you're on the wrong website.

I didn't say most kisses lead to sex, I SAID if she tried to stop him then it's rape. She didn't as she hasn't mentioned that, if she stopped him then it's rape.

She didn't ask your input on whether you agree with her believing she was raped, perhaps try reading the opening post more carefully

You actually think that unless a person doesn't physically stop the act, that it isn't rape?

Jesus Christ we need more education on this in school.

I mean I ended up going back with him so he obviously thought something was going to go down?? And I don't I just presumed, I've seen him only a handful of times since and he's been quite distant and the one time he tried to say hi I've told him "don't try and hit up on me" (but he also took a snapchat of me giving him oral sex and sent it around to his friends that same night which I didn't know till the next morning, but I think he thinks this is why I don't speak to him etc). One friend I told, the most distant out of the three is the most supportive she's been through a similar situation herself so I trust her not to say anything, my best friend shouted at me for not telling her locked herself in a room and cried all night then in the morning ran her mouth to a different friend and that friend when I tried to tell her about it that I don't want anyone to know brushed it off and it seemed like she didn't want to talk about it, also called me a **** a few nights after she found out (both the last two get gobby when drunk hence why I am really worried something will be said, I don't think they're taking it seriously when I say it cannot leave the house) so no, not overly supportive hahaha.

I didn't ask her if she agreed with me, she hasn't even responded to me. I just gave my opinion. Clearly, you're the one getting upset. Please continue

So immature

From what you said, I wouldn't say that you were raped, but this is definitely illegal. It is strange that you put that into brackets.