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Personal statements - if you could be completely honest what would you say?

These application howlers from the Telegraph made me :lol:

The Shaun the Sheep one is on point :sheep:

:teehee:

Not so Grate

"Having been head of my form and captain of the debating club, I have grate communication skills.

"Well, Duh...

"What is physics? I don’t know; that’s why I want to take it at university.

"Eighty Per Cent

"'Eighty per cent of success is showing up.' I feel this attitude correctly demonstrates my passion for Literature where, indeed, you only have to 'turn up' and read the books and to fully understand the topic. I was form captain in Year 7, indicating my sense of responsibility. I enjoyed the challenge of my duties, which included fetching the register and making people sign up for sports days. Also, this year I was voted head girl because I made the most hilarious speech ever. This demonstrates my skill at creative and persuasive writing.

"Shaun the Sheep

"Ever since I watched 'Shaun the Sheep' on CBBC, i have been passionate about becoming a farmer. For me, nothing in life would be as good as a farmer's life."



If you're in the middle of writing their PS I thought you might want to let off some steam by posting an 'honest' version in this thread :u:

:moon: Or, if you could get away with writing whatever you wanted, what would you put? :bl:
:cookie:
(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 2
Avatar for Luneth
Luneth
12
"I'm simply pretending to care so much so that you'll take me in, I'm only in it for the money. I know you don't care about my life story, but here it is; [moving lifestory that I made up which ties into what I want to do]. I LOVE your university and all the, uh, great things that are there :wink: so I hope you'll consider me"
Reply 3
Avatar for Tootles
Tootles
21
"Marital arts" :colone:

I'd probably put that I'll try my best to make everyone into as much of a **** as I am.
Someone once said to me:

'Why would I have paid the UCAS fee if I didn't want to do the course? That could have paid for a night out, and if that's not commitment to geography, I don't know what is'.

:clap2:
Original post by Charlotte49
Someone once said to me:

'Why would I have paid the UCAS fee if I didn't want to do the course? That could have paid for a night out, and if that's not commitment to geography, I don't know what is'.

:clap2:


:lol:

I think two night's out at the SU... maybe three :colone:

:beer:
Pls accept me
I cannot stand another year with my chaotic family although i obviously love them dearly :biggrin:
That'd be grate :mmm: :colondollar:
Pls
"Please."
Who writes a PS saying they want to be a farmer? I can't imagine there are many uni-educated farmers out there (they just don't need it surely?)

There are some amazing quotes here :lol:
Original post by *Interrobang*
Who writes a PS saying they want to be a farmer? I can't imagine there are many uni-educated farmers out there (they just don't need it surely?

GCSE Chemistry taught me that farmers are all scientific geniuses.
"I'm sorry, is my £9000+ not good enough for you??? Tell me, what can you do for ME??"
Original post by Abstract_Prism
GCSE Chemistry taught me that farmers are all scientific geniuses.


I can't recall that myself, but GCSEs were a while ago now!

And I wasn't saying they can't do it (in case that's what you thought I was implying!)
I have so much **** to get off my chest


first of all that care home bs, yes i realised how important communication and how important it is to deal with the elderly who have conditions like dementia with care but mostly I learnt that everyone is going to ****ing die one day and I want to die early so that I never have to go through ANYTHING like that I would also rather die than live in a care home and not be able to be self reliant.
Original post by *Interrobang*
Who writes a PS saying they want to be a farmer? I can't imagine there are many uni-educated farmers out there (they just don't need it surely?)

There are some amazing quotes here :lol:

It's classed as a graduate job and there are at least 2 universities specialising in agricultural degrees: https://www.rau.ac.uk/ http://www.harper-adams.ac.uk/
Let's cut the bull **** mutha ****ers, I'll smash the grades so make me an offer.
(edited 7 years ago)
"I'm probably going to wing it this year so it would pretty great if you gave me an offer and let me in or my Asian mother is going to beat my ass up"
Original post by *Interrobang*
I can't recall that myself, but GCSEs were a while ago now!

And I wasn't saying they can't do it (in case that's what you thought I was implying!)


No no, I was being sarcastic. I remember thinking when I was doing my GCSEs that there was no way these farmers would be doing all these calculations and stuff.
This was my original/first draft for my medical personal statement.

Medical professionals are required to deal with fellows homosapiens of all ages, ranges, ethnicities, skin colours, roadman haircuts and stds; some specimens of human are free range and some are held captives in cages of their own emotional issues, much like chickens but in a metaphorical sense. How to the free the soul? Well that is not in the duty of a medic to understand or to answer but a more philosophical or say spiritual question that need not even be answered. However, I’m sure if someone finds a solution they’ll let us all know, or maybe freedomè is death and therefore they physically can’t let us know and we’re all trapped on this earth as though it ever gets better while you’re alive when really it doesn’t and it’s just an endless journey of pain and more pain and then a bit of happiness and then a little more pain perhaps a sprinkle of medical illness and then 3 or 4 zesty gratings of heartbreaks and unsolicited romantical feelings. Well, what I can say, maybe being free is NOT being free because when you’re free you’re so free that are you really free? therefore k lol im kidding when you’re free you ARE really free otherwise it wouldn’t’ be called being free for obvious reasons.
Reply 18
Avatar for peep90
peep90
15
I have zero motivation, writing this personal statement makes me question all my life choices and now I want to cry. I don't know what I want to do in the future, so for now, doing this degree will have to do.
Original post by PQ
It's classed as a graduate job and there are at least 2 universities specialising in agricultural degrees: https://www.rau.ac.uk/ http://www.harper-adams.ac.uk/


Wow :eek:

Original post by Abstract_Prism
No no, I was being sarcastic. I remember thinking when I was doing my GCSEs that there was no way these farmers would be doing all these calculations and stuff.


Lol fair enough :lol:

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