Depression Guide and Personal Experiences (post your experience with Depression)
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When it started - Started in March/April of this year
How long you've had it? - 8 months
Official diagnosis - Depression
Therapy/medication - I only got diagnosed today but I have been put on Sertraline 50mg. Also recommended counselling but the thought of this scares me.
When it got worse/when it got better - It seems to come and go, I'll have a few good days and then I'm back to feeling crap. Most of the time when I go back to feeling crap it is worse than before.
How has it affected your life? It has really messed up the relationship between me and two of my housemates (the ones who know about it) as I feel that I purposely try to push them away because I hate the fact that they worry. This in turn then makes me feel worse as I have technically isolated myself and I find it too difficult to change things. As well as this it has impacted my social life as I feel that I can't go out and have fun when people are getting drunk. Sometimes I will join in and get drunk too but it just makes me feel even more depressed and always leads to some form of arguments with the friends mentioned above. It has also made me miss quite a lot of university due to lack of sleep meaning that I can't concentrate so decide to not go to lectures etc.
How you are coping now? I don't think I am coping, I turned to self harm over the weekend...I had only ever done this once before and I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to start it again but it just felt like it was needed. However I didn't seem to feel anything from it so not sure if I'll do it again. I'm feeling really isolated at the moment too which I know is my own fault.
How long you've had it? - 8 months
Official diagnosis - Depression
Therapy/medication - I only got diagnosed today but I have been put on Sertraline 50mg. Also recommended counselling but the thought of this scares me.
When it got worse/when it got better - It seems to come and go, I'll have a few good days and then I'm back to feeling crap. Most of the time when I go back to feeling crap it is worse than before.
How has it affected your life? It has really messed up the relationship between me and two of my housemates (the ones who know about it) as I feel that I purposely try to push them away because I hate the fact that they worry. This in turn then makes me feel worse as I have technically isolated myself and I find it too difficult to change things. As well as this it has impacted my social life as I feel that I can't go out and have fun when people are getting drunk. Sometimes I will join in and get drunk too but it just makes me feel even more depressed and always leads to some form of arguments with the friends mentioned above. It has also made me miss quite a lot of university due to lack of sleep meaning that I can't concentrate so decide to not go to lectures etc.
How you are coping now? I don't think I am coping, I turned to self harm over the weekend...I had only ever done this once before and I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to start it again but it just felt like it was needed. However I didn't seem to feel anything from it so not sure if I'll do it again. I'm feeling really isolated at the moment too which I know is my own fault.
My name is Dan and i'm 20 years old and i've had depression since i was 17. Every day is a struggle and each day it becomes worst and worst. I'm in such a dark place right now i don't know what to do or who to talk too. I've told my parents and neither of them took me seriously and haven't helped me in any way. I have no friends and no one to talk too. I feel so lonely and lost in life that it is destroying what life i have left. I really don't know what to do anymore.
Original post by dhewitt1
My name is Dan and i'm 20 years old and i've had depression since i was 17. Every day is a struggle and each day it becomes worst and worst. I'm in such a dark place right now i don't know what to do or who to talk too. I've told my parents and neither of them took me seriously and haven't helped me in any way. I have no friends and no one to talk too. I feel so lonely and lost in life that it is destroying what life i have left. I really don't know what to do anymore.
Hello Dan.
I know how horrible depression can be, especially when you can't talk to anyone about it. Have you considered seeing your doctor? They can give you help to hopefully get out of the black hole. Less helpful perhaps, have you seen TSR's mental health support society - it's a load of young people with mental illnesses who support each other. Was just thinking if you've got no friends to let off steam to then maybe try that thread.
Good luck I hope you feel better soon.
I don't really use this site but I have no idea where to go.
Who you are - 21 Year old student in London
When it started - 5/6 years ago, I ignored it thinking it was something everyone went through. Soon as I started uni it came back worse than ever.
How long you've had it - 5/6 years ago
Official diagnosis - Clinical Depression and social anxiety
Therapy/medication - Went to my GP who put me on anti depressants and referred me to someone else earlier this year but I didn't go and stopped taking them.
When it got worse/when it got better - Got worse when I started uni last year, contemplating suicide and talking to someone about it makes me feel incredible sick.
How has it affected your life? - Horribly, no friends at all, no relationships. I see everyone going through uni enjoying it and being surrounded by friends and i'm on my own. I've started my second year and no one knows my name, on top of that I don't have anyone to talk to. Film was something that I wanted to do but since i've started I kinda realised it isn't for me and i'm torn between dropping out. Though I don't think there is anything I want to do instead.
How you are coping now - The days that are good are the ones when i'm not at uni. I'm trying to make things better, the only thing I really do that involves me going out is the gym which i'm focusing on more. I should be speaking to my uni councillor this year and i'm going to go back to my GP sometime this month too.
Who you are - 21 Year old student in London
When it started - 5/6 years ago, I ignored it thinking it was something everyone went through. Soon as I started uni it came back worse than ever.
How long you've had it - 5/6 years ago
Official diagnosis - Clinical Depression and social anxiety
Therapy/medication - Went to my GP who put me on anti depressants and referred me to someone else earlier this year but I didn't go and stopped taking them.
When it got worse/when it got better - Got worse when I started uni last year, contemplating suicide and talking to someone about it makes me feel incredible sick.
How has it affected your life? - Horribly, no friends at all, no relationships. I see everyone going through uni enjoying it and being surrounded by friends and i'm on my own. I've started my second year and no one knows my name, on top of that I don't have anyone to talk to. Film was something that I wanted to do but since i've started I kinda realised it isn't for me and i'm torn between dropping out. Though I don't think there is anything I want to do instead.
How you are coping now - The days that are good are the ones when i'm not at uni. I'm trying to make things better, the only thing I really do that involves me going out is the gym which i'm focusing on more. I should be speaking to my uni councillor this year and i'm going to go back to my GP sometime this month too.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Incandescent
I chronicle my battle with depression on YouTube, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/user/IncandescentBuddha/videos
http://www.youtube.com/user/IncandescentBuddha/videos
Hey Incandescent,
I was also thinking about starting a YouTube series, would be cool if we collaborate some time?
Original post by BethCarey
Hey Incandescent,
I was also thinking about starting a YouTube series, would be cool if we collaborate some time?
I was also thinking about starting a YouTube series, would be cool if we collaborate some time?
Hey Beth, it's a very therapeutic thing and has helped me a tonne - go for it. Colab sounds great.
Who you are - 26 year old female, depressed, anxiety, oxygen thief :'(
When it started - 7 years ago
How long you've had it - 7 years
Official diagnosis - No official label given, but I know I have it.
Therapy/medication - GP prescribed Citalopram four years ago. On and off it the past few years/ failure to keep on top of repeat prescriptions. Was given therapy too but gave up after two visits - felt the therapist wasn't listening to a word I was saying.
When it got worse/when it got better - It was steady for four years or so but recently it has taken a nasty tumble....
How has it affected your life? - It has a major impact on my life. Only a handful of people know I suffer from depression (my boyfriend, his pal and my GP), no one else knows. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't think I had depression...looks can be deceiving. I have always struggled to hold down a job due to depression and possibly because of an undiagnosed mental disability too - I can't remember things off the bat, I get muddled and confused, I find it hard to learn new things, struggle with numbers, I lack inspiration.
I remember in my last job I was going through a bad patch with my depression, I went to my GP and he wrote me a sick note to give to my employer to give me two weeks off from work. During those two weeks, my mood improved and I felt happier and looking forward to going back to work..when I went back on the Monday, I was dutifully informed I was sacked....
That was three years ago already and I haven't had a job since. My mood has worsened, I feel very depressed, anxious, hopeless, feel suicidal at times..I feel like an oxygen thief...I worry a lot daily about where I am heading in life (or not, as the case currently is.) I worry I don't have a future, I worry I can't hold down a job, can't get a job, I don't have good references to give...the list goes on....
Uni isn't an option..I don't have the grades for it.
How you are coping now - Not well. However I am very lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend in my life who has supported me - emotionally and financially - throughout this troubled time. He is my beacon of happiness at this moment in time, but the outlook on my life is bleak.
When it started - 7 years ago
How long you've had it - 7 years
Official diagnosis - No official label given, but I know I have it.
Therapy/medication - GP prescribed Citalopram four years ago. On and off it the past few years/ failure to keep on top of repeat prescriptions. Was given therapy too but gave up after two visits - felt the therapist wasn't listening to a word I was saying.
When it got worse/when it got better - It was steady for four years or so but recently it has taken a nasty tumble....
How has it affected your life? - It has a major impact on my life. Only a handful of people know I suffer from depression (my boyfriend, his pal and my GP), no one else knows. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't think I had depression...looks can be deceiving. I have always struggled to hold down a job due to depression and possibly because of an undiagnosed mental disability too - I can't remember things off the bat, I get muddled and confused, I find it hard to learn new things, struggle with numbers, I lack inspiration.
I remember in my last job I was going through a bad patch with my depression, I went to my GP and he wrote me a sick note to give to my employer to give me two weeks off from work. During those two weeks, my mood improved and I felt happier and looking forward to going back to work..when I went back on the Monday, I was dutifully informed I was sacked....
That was three years ago already and I haven't had a job since. My mood has worsened, I feel very depressed, anxious, hopeless, feel suicidal at times..I feel like an oxygen thief...I worry a lot daily about where I am heading in life (or not, as the case currently is.) I worry I don't have a future, I worry I can't hold down a job, can't get a job, I don't have good references to give...the list goes on....
Uni isn't an option..I don't have the grades for it.
How you are coping now - Not well. However I am very lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend in my life who has supported me - emotionally and financially - throughout this troubled time. He is my beacon of happiness at this moment in time, but the outlook on my life is bleak.
Who you are - 26 year old female, depressed, anxiety, oxygen thief :'(
When it started - 7 years ago
How long you've had it - 7 years
Official diagnosis - No official label given, but I know I have it.
Therapy/medication - GP prescribed Citalopram four years ago. On and off it the past few years/ failure to keep on top of repeat prescriptions. Was given therapy too but gave up after two visits - felt the therapist wasn't listening to a word I was saying.
When it got worse/when it got better - It was steady for four years or so but recently it has taken a nasty tumble....
How has it affected your life? - It has a major impact on my life. Only a handful of people know I suffer from depression (my boyfriend, his pal and my GP), no one else knows. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't think I had depression...looks can be deceiving. I have always struggled to hold down a job due to depression and possibly because of an undiagnosed mental disability too - I can't remember things off the bat, I get muddled and confused, I find it hard to learn new things, struggle with numbers, I lack inspiration.
I remember in my last job I was going through a bad patch with my depression, I went to my GP and he wrote me a sick note to give to my employer to give me two weeks off from work. During those two weeks, my mood improved and I felt happier and looking forward to going back to work..when I went back on the Monday, I was dutifully informed I was sacked....
That was three years ago already and I haven't had a job since. My mood has worsened, I feel very depressed, anxious, hopeless, feel suicidal at times..I feel like an oxygen thief...I worry a lot daily about where I am heading in life (or not, as the case currently is.) I worry I don't have a future, I worry I can't hold down a job, can't get a job, I don't have good references to give...the list goes on....
Uni isn't an option..I don't have the grades for it.
How you are coping now - Not well. However I am very lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend in my life who has supported me - emotionally and financially - throughout this troubled time. He is my beacon of happiness at this moment in time, but the outlook on my life is bleak.
I am a good person - I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I stay on the right side of the law, I am friendly and good natured, but I seem to fall head-first when it comes to employment. I'm stumped. It's so hard to get a job -any job - these days and you need to have the perfect CV and references to get anywhere. These things I do not have and I don't know what to do.
I feel I should throw myself off a bridge and be done with it already
When it started - 7 years ago
How long you've had it - 7 years
Official diagnosis - No official label given, but I know I have it.
Therapy/medication - GP prescribed Citalopram four years ago. On and off it the past few years/ failure to keep on top of repeat prescriptions. Was given therapy too but gave up after two visits - felt the therapist wasn't listening to a word I was saying.
When it got worse/when it got better - It was steady for four years or so but recently it has taken a nasty tumble....
How has it affected your life? - It has a major impact on my life. Only a handful of people know I suffer from depression (my boyfriend, his pal and my GP), no one else knows. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't think I had depression...looks can be deceiving. I have always struggled to hold down a job due to depression and possibly because of an undiagnosed mental disability too - I can't remember things off the bat, I get muddled and confused, I find it hard to learn new things, struggle with numbers, I lack inspiration.
I remember in my last job I was going through a bad patch with my depression, I went to my GP and he wrote me a sick note to give to my employer to give me two weeks off from work. During those two weeks, my mood improved and I felt happier and looking forward to going back to work..when I went back on the Monday, I was dutifully informed I was sacked....
That was three years ago already and I haven't had a job since. My mood has worsened, I feel very depressed, anxious, hopeless, feel suicidal at times..I feel like an oxygen thief...I worry a lot daily about where I am heading in life (or not, as the case currently is.) I worry I don't have a future, I worry I can't hold down a job, can't get a job, I don't have good references to give...the list goes on....
Uni isn't an option..I don't have the grades for it.
How you are coping now - Not well. However I am very lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend in my life who has supported me - emotionally and financially - throughout this troubled time. He is my beacon of happiness at this moment in time, but the outlook on my life is bleak.
I am a good person - I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I stay on the right side of the law, I am friendly and good natured, but I seem to fall head-first when it comes to employment. I'm stumped. It's so hard to get a job -any job - these days and you need to have the perfect CV and references to get anywhere. These things I do not have and I don't know what to do.
I feel I should throw myself off a bridge and be done with it already
I am clinically depressed and cannot remember the time i most recently laughed. I have thought about suicideno in the serious sense but in the sense that it seems practical. I feel it would be easier because, well, it would be nothing. I am also hoping to get rid of all motion completely and feel i have already done so as my parents are getting worried and i no longer have a best friend but i dont seem to care about those things any longer. I was diagnosed about a year ago and i have a therapist as well as i take a high dosage of flouxitine medication. None of that seems to help. I now spend my days searching the internet for people like me and in the solitude of my room. I do not eat much and i sleep many hours in the day. grades have slipped from straight a's to some failing grades as well as Bs and Cs. Im not sure if i want help, although i most certainly need it for I am heading down the road of a sociopath, I just want someone to know, someone to listen. I am 14. Young and you might think dramatic because I have a lot to live for, but the world goes on, even after you die. I just want someone in the world to know me, to know how I feel.
Original post by Anonymous_server
I am clinically depressed and cannot remember the time i most recently laughed. I have thought about suicideno in the serious sense but in the sense that it seems practical. I feel it would be easier because, well, it would be nothing. I am also hoping to get rid of all motion completely and feel i have already done so as my parents are getting worried and i no longer have a best friend but i dont seem to care about those things any longer. I was diagnosed about a year ago and i have a therapist as well as i take a high dosage of flouxitine medication. None of that seems to help. I now spend my days searching the internet for people like me and in the solitude of my room. I do not eat much and i sleep many hours in the day. grades have slipped from straight a's to some failing grades as well as Bs and Cs. Im not sure if i want help, although i most certainly need it for I am heading down the road of a sociopath, I just want someone to know, someone to listen. I am 14. Young and you might think dramatic because I have a lot to live for, but the world goes on, even after you die. I just want someone in the world to know me, to know how I feel.
it might seem counter intuitive, but I find listening to depressing music helps.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fountdff72I
This song particularly. It is so hopeless and depressing, yet it helps for some reason.
(edited 10 years ago)
Just watching this video might help a little.
Bipolar Disorder: You are not alone. My personal story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iyIRuq4r9Q
Bipolar Disorder: You are not alone. My personal story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iyIRuq4r9Q
Original post by democracyforum
This song particularly. It is so hopeless and depressing, yet it helps for some reason.
I love needle in the hay and roman candle for the same reason. Maybe helps is the wrong reason but sometimes I want some sound and that kinda music feels... appropriate.
•
Who you are
•
When it started
•
How long you've had it
•
Official diagnosis
•
Therapy/medication
•
When it got worse/when it got better
•
How has it affected your life?
•
How you are coping now.
Hey guys, I'm Jess and I've struggled with Depression now for several years, I'm 19 now and I'd say it became a problem when I was around 13. I really struggled at first and by that I mean until about 6 months ago. I haven't had an official diagnosis but last week my therapist told me I have major clinical depression, they all say it differently but yeah you know what I mean.
I first got referred to CAMHS when I got a GP appointment and told him I was self harming. He referred me to CAMHS and honestly they were no help for me. Primarily I think because I was too scared to be honest with them, and with a service like that in my area if you didn't shout for what you needed nobody was listening. I was at CAMHS for a year, then became 18 and was discharged and left to find my own way in life basically.
I then saw councilors at both college and university because I find that I need the support and find it so helpful to know that someone cares and someone can help me to deal with sometimes overwhelming thoughts and feelings. I now am with Talking Changes, my local mental health service. I had just completed a course of CBT and am now on a course of IPT. I know most of you are familiar with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but to be honest even I didn't know a thing about IPT. Interpersonal Relationship Therapy, I am a few weeks in but I can see how this will help me. Honestly the CBT has also helped me, but its like when you are there you don't feel the difference, but it is afterward when you realise how strong you are and how yes you can not let your negative thoughts take control of your life and your behaviours.
As for medication I have been on Fluoxetine, Sertraline, Trazodone and am currently on Citalopram. I have had different experiences with all of them but am finding Citalopram to be helpful. I really thought that Fluoxetine made me lose all emotion altogether. I was just a skeleton. With sertraline the side effects outweighed the positives and trazodone made me lose my mind completely! So thankfully im in a better place now and refuse to see any doctor except the one I trust. She has a background in Psychology for over 20 years and I really like her.
It's easier to say that it got worse progressively since I left school onwards through college to a point where everyday I would wish I didn't wake up. I realise now how ridiculous and selfish and wrong that sounds, but I hated myself so much I couldn't stand to listen to my own thoughts, to know that I was breathing and taking the place of the life that another could have had. I felt so worthless, there really isn't a way to describe how it made me feel. It got better when I kept seeking help, and when I was really honest at Talking Changes about my thoughts and feelings, even thought I didn't even feel worthy of being there with her listening to me! It helped me so much. Talking has really helped me, and the therapy keeps me strong. I tried the self help workbooks, but I needed someone to really tell me that I deserved the same things anyone else would deserve.
I don't really know how it has affected my life, because I can't remember a time when this cloud wasn't over me, except to say that without it I wouldn't be so sympathetic, open minded and just overwhelmingly understanding of other people. I'd hate to think I was one of those ignorant people who say depression is for the weak, and its a choice. I hate phrases like that, they make me sick.
I cope now by looking to the future, making small to longer term goals in life and sticking to them. Yes it is really difficult, everyday can be a struggle and it varies from one to the next. But its keeping in mind how far I have come from where I was and the person I am today. I still have a long way to go, but that's life. Learning, growing.
Not long ago I didn't ever think I could even feel like this. I didn't think it was possible to not hate myself all of the time.
If you are reading this I really hope you are getting or will get the help you need, if you need it, because the support is there you just need to make your voice loud enough for them to hear it! & feel free to PM me anytime.
Well i am 15... 'i typed it all down.. but backspaced it all.' I can't explain..
BASICALLY; My family don't care/love.. My Friends wouldn't understand. I was separated from someone i truly loved..
When reading this.. please don't think i'm an exaggerater/spoilt/stupid little girl that exaggerates small problems.. My life is one of a kind.. The worst kind.
No minor problems all major.
BASICALLY; My family don't care/love.. My Friends wouldn't understand. I was separated from someone i truly loved..
When reading this.. please don't think i'm an exaggerater/spoilt/stupid little girl that exaggerates small problems.. My life is one of a kind.. The worst kind.
No minor problems all major.
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