Depression Society MKVI

I dunno, it's normally not a problem just things are really ****ing bad this evening.

I don't think it's going to be enough.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. I'm crap at giving advice but if there's anything I can do please let me know

Sorry I don't think you can help. Nothing's helping, the music isn'tloud enough the self harm isn't bad enogh, the pills are right ****ing there.

I'm sorry you're fighting urges too.

ok hun, sorry I couldn't help! spend some time relaxing and not thinking about it all and I hope you start feeling a bit better at some point

Hey, sorry for being soo off with you. Just felt like i was losing my mind for a while.... settled down now.

I know I cant change anything.... just have to accept it and move on. Time will pass and the pain will fade.... thanks again.. you have been more then I could of hoped for in an internet pen pal

Its fine hun honestly, we all have days where things get to much, so its fine you can be as off with me as you like ... I can take it

Glad it has settled down a bit now though hun, and glad you are starting to see things a bit more clearly! Haha like that ... I am an internet pen pal, miss penpals, people don't really do that anymore do they!

But nah seriously here anytime you need to talk about anything lets be honest you have done your fair share of putting up with me!

siiiick of my father treating me with contempt. what have i done to deserve this--all i have done is try my best, and he hasn't contributed at all. haha at least it seems im the only person who doesn't mind the weather at the moment. it matches my mood. >: (

May I offer a hug?

Dammit I hate myself.

Hi!

So I finally made another account . Superwolf told me to make myself known so I will leave my sig as it is for a couple of weeks . I am going to miss my old account and the very little rep I had, which was still a lot more than my 'main' account lol.

I hope everyone is ok And to the the many new usernames I can see.

Now for some random things concerning moi...

This morning I felt horrible and I don't know why. I was on the bus and I felt ill... like a nervous/ butterflies in your tummy kind of feeling. I just felt like I couldn't breathe... I could lol but it just felt weird. In my head I was telling myself 'just breathe, just breathe...' and I wanted to cry. I could feel my eyes watering. When someone opened the window I felt a little better.

I think I just needed some air because the bus was hot and stuffy but it set the mood for the day.

I have been very nervous and fidgety all day, so much so that people have commented about it.

Also last week I was in a seminar and some people were questioning the point of country specific Year Abroad meetings and the teacher commented about it being a safety issue, especially girls going alone to Latin America and the group of people started laughing and said something like

It feels good to be back and start posting again

Does anyone else suffer from social anxiety especially when it comes to phone calls? I have to plan every phone call far in advance and prepare myself for how it might go and what might be said and how I can respond and what to say in the beginning and what to say at the end and that sort of thing to no end. I hate having to make phone calls and do everything I can to avoid it. Unfortunately sometimes they cannot be avoided which brings me to my point: what the hell do I do to improve this? ;_;

Gave you your first rep.

Careful with the tetris idea Nut, if you play it too much you start hallucinating tetris blocks falling from the sky. I remember having a meeting with my psychiatrist after an epic tetris session, trying to concentrate on what she was saying all the while seeing tetris blocks falling in front of her face. Odd, definitely.

Aw now I'm jealous, I want a diazepam day. Went to my gp for a repeat prescription this morning, was tempted to say I'm flying can I have more diazepam but thought it might bite me in the ass if my psychiatrist found out. Anyway, enjoy it. What dose do you have? 2mg worked perfect for me first time but now it takes 5mg for any effect. You build resistance stupidly fast.

No offense but how do you mentor someone when you are, excuse the phrasing, ****ed yourself?

I might buy the book, she's been really angry with me recently so anything to make her happy. Been shouting again, how dare I believe anything except exactly what she says. How the **** do you remember that? And I note; that doesn't prove anything It just means I was right in the past that's all. Alright....I do admit when you put it like that there does appear to be a pattern, that doesn't mean you're right but yes ok fine there's a pattern. That is exactly what happened. Hmmm. Dammit. I don't trust the doctor one bit, but you're right I should trust my girlfriend - I'm finding that really difficult right now, I know she wouldn't hurt me but she's not here, she can't see all the evidence, it makes it difficult to trust her 100%. I dunno....I hate how you worded that, it suggests conclusions I don't want to agree with.

Hi there everyone. ^_^

I have asked to join the Depression Society, in the meantime I thought I would introduce myself. Apologies if this is the wrong place for that, Moderators please move my post if so.

My name is Kay, I am 26 and live in Stoke-on-Trent. I have suffered from depression on-and-off since I was around 18 years old. I've had it to varying degrees depending on what has been going on in my life and I am somewhat hindered by it at the moment as I lost my job about a month ago.

I hope to chat and try to support others as well as chatting here if I feel bad or anything if that's okay. I look forward to getting to know everybody.

Missed college again today, but managed to take a shower! (unfortunately I consider this an achievement at the moment )

Anyone else find that their personal hygiene goes completely out of the window?! I'm averaging 1 bath/shower a week at the moment and only wear make-up for work on Saturday (purely because I work in a salon). I'm beginning to look rather ill

for the love of ****.

had my initial phone appointment just now, which I think went okay, but at the end they tell me there is a 3 month waiting list for therapy 3 ****ing months, that's really helpful then, not.

seriously, how **** are mental health services here if that's the wait...

This is going to sound odd, but here goes anyway. Might be a self harm trigger.

Somebody come and set fire to my bedroom and then we will run away and live in a tent and drink strawberry wine and raspberry cider and life will be perfect.

And Wolf can be au naturale.

siiiick of my father treating me with contempt. what have i done to deserve this--all i have done is try my best, and he hasn't contributed at all. haha at least it seems im the only person who doesn't mind the weather at the moment. it matches my mood. >: (

Hi!

So I finally made another account . Superwolf told me to make myself known so I will leave my sig as it is for a couple of weeks . I am going to miss my old account and the very little rep I had, which was still a lot more than my 'main' account lol.

I hope everyone is ok And to the the many new usernames I can see.

Now for some random things concerning moi...

This morning I felt horrible and I don't know why. I was on the bus and I felt ill... like a nervous/ butterflies in your tummy kind of feeling. I just felt like I couldn't breathe... I could lol but it just felt weird. In my head I was telling myself 'just breathe, just breathe...' and I wanted to cry. I could feel my eyes watering. When someone opened the window I felt a little better.

I think I just needed some air because the bus was hot and stuffy but it set the mood for the day.

I have been very nervous and fidgety all day, so much so that people have commented about it.

Also last week I was in a seminar and some people were questioning the point of country specific Year Abroad meetings and the teacher commented about it being a safety issue, especially girls going alone to Latin America and the group of people started laughing and said something like

It feels good to be back and start posting again

Does anyone else suffer from social anxiety especially when it comes to phone calls? I have to plan every phone call far in advance and prepare myself for how it might go and what might be said and how I can respond and what to say in the beginning and what to say at the end and that sort of thing to no end. I hate having to make phone calls and do everything I can to avoid it. Unfortunately sometimes they cannot be avoided which brings me to my point: what the hell do I do to improve this? ;_;