Help, I dont know what to do with myself :(

You should definitely at least apply for the job. If you really really want it, go for it. If you don't you will most likely regret it.

If they don't take you on, then well what you do then is up to you.

I'd advise you to take a year out. From your OP you sort of sound like you already have pretty much decided that anyway. Even if you don't get the job, it might be useful to have a year to consider things, such as whether to continue at uni and what you'd do afterwards anyway. I personally think gut feelings are actually very reliable, you sound like you know what you want and you just need someone to confirm your thinking for you. As for finding work, there is always jobs going on a simple level, even just at McDonalds. I'd advise actually working over volunteering because you perhaps need to be reminded of what it's like to be working and plus I think when you have a job it's harder to be depressed and despondent because of your responsibilities. At uni you have a lot of spare time generally and I think this is a main cause for people becoming depressed because they have time to. Obvs that is simplifying the issue, but if you keep yourself busy it's easier to stay happy and feel fulfilled at the end of each day.

Your title says you don't know what to do, but I think you do, you're just nervous about it. It's a risk to take a year out, and check to see if it'll impact your fees, but discuss with the uni maybe that it's because of depression...? They're usually quite understanding; I had a friend drop out a few weeks ago and she's going to start anew next year and they're fine with that, and they made an exception for her with the fees as well. I think her case was a tad more severe though but I don't know exact details.

Remember however, that it's also a risk to continue your degree if you think you'll fail, if you don't want to do it anymore or just really need a break.

I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.

I'd advise you to take a year out. From your OP you sort of sound like you already have pretty much decided that anyway. Even if you don't get the job, it might be useful to have a year to consider things, such as whether to continue at uni and what you'd do afterwards anyway. I personally think gut feelings are actually very reliable, you sound like you know what you want and you just need someone to confirm your thinking for you. As for finding work, there is always jobs going on a simple level, even just at McDonalds. I'd advise actually working over volunteering because you perhaps need to be reminded of what it's like to be working and plus I think when you have a job it's harder to be depressed and despondent because of your responsibilities. At uni you have a lot of spare time generally and I think this is a main cause for people becoming depressed because they have time to. Obvs that is simplifying the issue, but if you keep yourself busy it's easier to stay happy and feel fulfilled at the end of each day.

Your title says you don't know what to do, but I think you do, you're just nervous about it. It's a risk to take a year out, and check to see if it'll impact your fees, but discuss with the uni maybe that it's because of depression...? They're usually quite understanding; I had a friend drop out a few weeks ago and she's going to start anew next year and they're fine with that, and they made an exception for her with the fees as well. I think her case was a tad more severe though but I don't know exact details.

Remember however, that it's also a risk to continue your degree if you think you'll fail, if you don't want to do it anymore or just really need a break.

I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.

Thanks for the advice, i'd say it's hard to remind myself of what it is to be working when ive never had a day's work in my life, i think that might be part of the problem, that i've been in education my whole life and that's all i know. But the thought of postponing graduation for another year doesn't enamour me either, part of me just wants to get it over with. If i go back in september ill also be living with people i know who are on my course and perhaps would be able to help me, whereas in two years everyone i know will have graduated. If I didn't go back i'd also have to live with my father, which isn't ideal.
I think i'll apply for the job anyway, see what happens. My parents wouldn't take kindly to my taking the year off, ive already made my dad pay 300 pounds for the deposit of a rented house.

Part of me also thinks i'm not clever enough to come out of this with a good degree, what with the 9000 word dissertation and all the work, it just scares the hell out of me. ive already struggled to give in my assignments in time and not getting good grades. i cant write a proper essay anymore.

Well applying and seeing what happens is probably the best idea then. I think you really ought to get some work experience though... Do you think you could get a summer job? Do you know anyone who might be able to help you get a job (it's cheeky but it's often the best way to get your first job). If you don't have many jobs going at home perhaps you could live in your accommodation over the summer? When does your lease begin?

I think that the dissertation is more about time and effort than intelligence. I'm not trying to slag off your efforts so far but maybe it's the extent of the work you have to do that is intimidating. All I can say to this is yes, it's intimidating, but your degree depends on it and so do your job prospects after uni.

Back to the job prospects, I don't think you can have a realistic idea without having work experience. It just puts things in perspective, especially if your job isn't enjoyable- it can be motivating for your academic work. Plus, you'll be earning, and that is great for fulfilment and confidence if you can get and keep a job (and I'm sure you can). Having your own money is another source of confidence and happiness, just because it's so nice to know that this is YOUR money you're spending, you know?

The one thing I would say with regards to your academia though is that you're on TSR, which means you're probably quite hard-working / intelligent anyway, and so you can probably succeed in your dissertation but maybe you're lacking a bit of confidence. I'm only in my first year so I can't really understand what it's like, but it also depends on your subject as well.

Speak to your personal tutor about your situation academically and they have to help you cos its their job.

So yeah, I'd say get a job over summer if you can, whatever that job may be. And speak to your personal tutor. And maybe talk to your mum about the situation? If your dad would get a bit angry... But if you work over the summer and end up getting this job, maybe you can pay him back when you start earning?

I'm sorry, I'm sure you've thought of all this already. You know what you need to do, the hard part is actually doing it. Good luck.

anyone else?

Think positive? No offence but everything we've suggested you've sort of shot down.

You might want to check whether the uni will let you just take a year out. Some won't.

cmon somebody must be awake at this time lol.