Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Original post by Riku
I'm the opposite right now. My blood pressure seems to have dropped too low again because I feel cold, dizzy and light=-headed a lot, sometimes chest pains, but no-one will believe me about it anymore, so I'm riding it out and forcing myself to eat a bit of junk to raise sodium levels until the doctor sees it in a fortnight : / Try to remember, part of productivity is to know when it's time to be passive. We don't always have to be doing something for someone to justify our being here, we need rest and recuperation, and you especially now being ill, Diamond (think about it, most people don't even move for any more than 2 hours a day!)
Sure there'll be loads more opportunities to review stuff
Sure there'll be loads more opportunities to review stuff
I'm sorry you feel crappy! Why don't people believe you? 
And thanks, you're totally right of course!
Major major landmark. Dominos pizza. I'm pretty much in shock right now - haven't eaten it since my food problems started. Really really happy though - and i'm amazed at how much more energy I have compared to a few hours ago.
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Cinamon
Major major landmark. Dominos pizza. I'm pretty much in shock right now - haven't eaten it since my food problems started. Really really happy though - and i'm amazed at how much more energy I have compared to a few hours ago.
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
I feel like pizza now! Brilliant achievement hun
And screw that girl. I wish people just wouldn't comment on what other people eat/look like but unfortunately, they do. Well done in not letting it get you down! So proud of you/happy for you!
Original post by Cinamon
Major major landmark. Dominos pizza. I'm pretty much in shock right now - haven't eaten it since my food problems started. Really really happy though - and i'm amazed at how much more energy I have compared to a few hours ago.
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
Baaah I hate it when people do that... But I'm very proud of you
I used to eat whole pizzas
WELL DONE!
Original post by diamonddust
xxx
I hope you feel better soon hun
Cinamon, you're a hero!
Original post by Cinamon
I hope you feel better soon hun
Thank you.
I hope you know that you're amazing!
Original post by Cinamon
Major major landmark. Dominos pizza. I'm pretty much in shock right now - haven't eaten it since my food problems started. Really really happy though - and i'm amazed at how much more energy I have compared to a few hours ago.
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
Basically i'm forcing myself to try and stay healthy because university is just TOO important to compromise.
Edit: and i know dominos isn't exactly healthy.... but in my situation it was better than passing out and not getting my case study work done!!
Millionth Edit:
It was a major potential trigger when a girl in my house said "Woah you ordered a whole pizza and side for yourself?"
Me: Yes... But I haven't eaten it all
Her: 'Judgemental face' "Bloody hell"
University really is. And all she's proven is she's bound to society's stupid, hypocritical laws of "propriety".
Pizza isn't really unhealthy. A staple diet of pizza, maybe, but as the cheeky weekender? Does us some good to blow off some steam once in a while. And besides, health is as much a mental state as a physical state, especially at our tender age. Healthy is happy. If you're as strong mentally as this as much as possible, well you're gonna feel pretty darn healthy and happy!
Having made such a fuss about a much less challenging Dominos the other day, I can honestly say: Cinamon, you're a legend.
Cinamon, I'm genuinely so proud of you for taking that next step to "normality" (if such a concept truly exists in this world!).
Getting a pizza takeaway is a totally commonplace thing for all of my friends and family and I'd love to participate in it too, soon.
I keep making decent progress and then foolishly listening to the ED's bad suggestions, doing stupid, pointless things.
I look forward to the day when I can be called up impromptu and just "go for lunch" without having to plan things weeks in advance to "prepare".
Getting a pizza takeaway is a totally commonplace thing for all of my friends and family and I'd love to participate in it too, soon.
I keep making decent progress and then foolishly listening to the ED's bad suggestions, doing stupid, pointless things.
Spoiler
I look forward to the day when I can be called up impromptu and just "go for lunch" without having to plan things weeks in advance to "prepare".
Original post by TotoMimo
Cinamon, I'm genuinely so proud of you for taking that next step to "normality" (if such a concept truly exists in this world!).
Getting a pizza takeaway is a totally commonplace thing for all of my friends and family and I'd love to participate in it too, soon.
I keep making decent progress and then foolishly listening to the ED's bad suggestions, doing stupid, pointless things.
I look forward to the day when I can be called up impromptu and just "go for lunch" without having to plan things weeks in advance to "prepare".
Getting a pizza takeaway is a totally commonplace thing for all of my friends and family and I'd love to participate in it too, soon.
I keep making decent progress and then foolishly listening to the ED's bad suggestions, doing stupid, pointless things.
Spoiler
I look forward to the day when I can be called up impromptu and just "go for lunch" without having to plan things weeks in advance to "prepare".
pretty sure it's all water! If you went out for drinks you must've had quite a bit of liquid...I put a bit of cream in my sauce today
It was delicious!Thanks guys. I am actually not feeling the urge to restrict today despite the food yesterday (and for breakfast 
). Every time I have an ED thought I think 'Yes I know I could do this, but I know it's something I wouldn't advise to anyone else - so I need to take my own advice'
I can assure you guys that i'm no hero - the thoughts are still there, and i'm in no way stable with this... But have to take the good as it comes The one thing i'm definitely not going to do is convince myself that i'm all better and cured.... because that's when it can creep back.
I'm also proud of each and everyone one of you guys too. It's really tough - especially when you're forced out of your usual routines and environments. But that means it's better time than any. There is so much more to us than our weight and it doesn't have to be linked to the control we have on the other parts of our lives.
Toto, same here. Gained 2lb since yesterday morning, which is ridiculous. You know it's not real weight gain so try and give yourself a break and don't allow yourself to be cheekily happy when you see the 101.6 go down.
Yay Anon
). Every time I have an ED thought I think 'Yes I know I could do this, but I know it's something I wouldn't advise to anyone else - so I need to take my own advice'I can assure you guys that i'm no hero - the thoughts are still there, and i'm in no way stable with this... But have to take the good as it comes
The one thing i'm definitely not going to do is convince myself that i'm all better and cured.... because that's when it can creep back. I'm also proud of each and everyone one of you guys too. It's really tough - especially when you're forced out of your usual routines and environments. But that means it's better time than any. There is so much more to us than our weight and it doesn't have to be linked to the control we have on the other parts of our lives.
Toto, same here. Gained 2lb since yesterday morning, which is ridiculous. You know it's not real weight gain so try and give yourself a break and don't allow yourself to be cheekily happy when you see the 101.6 go down.
Yay Anon
Wish I could be as positive as you guys. There are lots of photos flying around facebook at the moment, and I know hideous drunken photos are all part of the freshers experience, but why why why do I look so much fatter in photos even than real life?! I was feeling pretty alright this morning until I saw those photos and now I just can't believe that that is what I look like to other people. I want to cry.
sentiment, this is an entirely dysmorphic thing.
Photographs are far more easily scrutinised because they take a single angle, a single frame which cannot be altered. If you're scrutinising yourself in real life one tends to turn, pinch, twist, you're a lot more tactile and critical of varying factors, whereas in a photograph you fixate on a single element and that's it.
Neither scrutinies with an ED sufferer are justified though. Of course, this statement counts to everyone but ME (the person who makes this statement), because I know it's logically true but I personally view myself in a completely different way and judge my own self by a completely different set of rules.
Cinamon, that is something I really despise about the scales, and this ED - and that's the guilty, awful shameful glee I feel when the number on it... the arbitrary little LCD number on my set of scales - is less than it was previously.
It's strange as in every other capacity (my family telling me how much better I look, people saying I'm getting back to my "handsome self" - haha) I LIKE recovery. But that NUMBER. God, why does a stupid number have to count?
I suppose only that individual sufferer can place a bearing on the importance of it, but I personally find it both stupid and critical to "progress".
Photographs are far more easily scrutinised because they take a single angle, a single frame which cannot be altered. If you're scrutinising yourself in real life one tends to turn, pinch, twist, you're a lot more tactile and critical of varying factors, whereas in a photograph you fixate on a single element and that's it.
Neither scrutinies with an ED sufferer are justified though. Of course, this statement counts to everyone but ME (the person who makes this statement), because I know it's logically true but I personally view myself in a completely different way and judge my own self by a completely different set of rules.
Cinamon, that is something I really despise about the scales, and this ED - and that's the guilty, awful shameful glee I feel when the number on it... the arbitrary little LCD number on my set of scales - is less than it was previously.
It's strange as in every other capacity (my family telling me how much better I look, people saying I'm getting back to my "handsome self" - haha) I LIKE recovery. But that NUMBER. God, why does a stupid number have to count?
I suppose only that individual sufferer can place a bearing on the importance of it, but I personally find it both stupid and critical to "progress".
Tote. Bro-hug.
Get rid of the scales. Take out the batteries. Do whatever.
It's what I had to do at the beginning (and the middle) to get it off of my mind. You will always have the temptation if you have the option open to you, kick the temptation and just tell yourself that you will be happy at whatever weight you are. Learn a little from your body. Pay attention to what IT says. Feel like an ice cream? Go for an ice cream. Feel like a coffee? Go for a coffee (admittedly I should stop listening to that one...)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Get rid of the scales. Take out the batteries. Do whatever.
It's what I had to do at the beginning (and the middle) to get it off of my mind. You will always have the temptation if you have the option open to you, kick the temptation and just tell yourself that you will be happy at whatever weight you are. Learn a little from your body. Pay attention to what IT says. Feel like an ice cream? Go for an ice cream. Feel like a coffee? Go for a coffee (admittedly I should stop listening to that one...)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Original post by Antiaris
Feel like a coffee? Go for a coffee (admittedly I should stop listening to that one...)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Antiaris, what are you hoping to do at Reading? Coffee is always good, until you've had so much of it you dont feel like you're in your own body, then its baaad.
Original post by Antiaris
Tote. Bro-hug.
Get rid of the scales. Take out the batteries. Do whatever.
It's what I had to do at the beginning (and the middle) to get it off of my mind. You will always have the temptation if you have the option open to you, kick the temptation and just tell yourself that you will be happy at whatever weight you are. Learn a little from your body. Pay attention to what IT says. Feel like an ice cream? Go for an ice cream. Feel like a coffee? Go for a coffee (admittedly I should stop listening to that one...)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Get rid of the scales. Take out the batteries. Do whatever.
It's what I had to do at the beginning (and the middle) to get it off of my mind. You will always have the temptation if you have the option open to you, kick the temptation and just tell yourself that you will be happy at whatever weight you are. Learn a little from your body. Pay attention to what IT says. Feel like an ice cream? Go for an ice cream. Feel like a coffee? Go for a coffee (admittedly I should stop listening to that one...)
Cover mirrors if you need to. Keep only a face mirror maybe. (Shaving is a bi*ch otherwise)
Really, this all applies to everyone!
-----------------
Personally I am now furious with ED's. Emailing Reading to find out if the course will let me on with a history of ED's. How DARE something like an ED not only screw up me now, my family and now MY FUTURE PROSPECTS. Crossed finger Reading give the all clear (my therapist has at least.)
Question though, Antiaris: what do you do when you're not really sure what you feel like? For example, I keep leaning towards the snacks and sweets aisle but I haven't got anything in mind, it's more the fact that it's there. Today I was staring at a scone in the M+S cafe for about 10 minutes before walking out. Not sure whether I'm being held back by fear, or have just genuinely lost the desire for sweet stuff on the go?
And yeah, can't believe my mum just got scales again either >_<
Oh dear. Coffee's the worst for palpitations! Two cups and I have the jitters. Although I do long for another chilli chai latte...
All the best with getting on your course man!
Original post by .snowflake.
Antiaris, what are you hoping to do at Reading? Coffee is always good, until you've had so much of it you dont feel like you're in your own body, then its baaad.
Original post by Riku
Question though, Antiaris: what do you do when you're not really sure what you feel like? For example, I keep leaning towards the snacks and sweets aisle but I haven't got anything in mind, it's more the fact that it's there. Today I was staring at a scone in the M+S cafe for about 10 minutes before walking out. Not sure whether I'm being held back by fear, or have just genuinely lost the desire for sweet stuff on the go?
And yeah, can't believe my mum just got scales again either >_<
Oh dear. Coffee's the worst for palpitations! Two cups and I have the jitters. Although I do long for another chilli chai latte...
All the best with getting on your course man!
And yeah, can't believe my mum just got scales again either >_<
Oh dear. Coffee's the worst for palpitations! Two cups and I have the jitters. Although I do long for another chilli chai latte...
All the best with getting on your course man!
Hoping to do Nutrition and Food Consumer Science. I've been interested in food and the food industry since I was... 4 years old, baking in my Grandmother's kitchen?
Also Riku, I went through the same thing. You crave something sweet, you have no idea what. When that happens I begin to look at other body parts and what they want. Am I cold? Then maybe something hot. Do my teeth need something? Something crunchy like a biscuit. Does it need a comforting fatty edge? Cake or chocolate.
I have to say though that it took a while to do. I honestly was terrified at the idea of chocolate, cake gave me palpitations, a tart was torture. One day though, I just went for it. I told myself that I would get that biscuit I craved. No excuses. I took in the fact, yes, it contains some bad stuff but also had some GOOD stuff. We can't get rid of the bad stuff in the biscuit, but we also can't get rid of the bad stuff in ourselves without letting in some of that biscuity goodness.
You just have to accept a biscuit isn't perfect, but perfect isn't always right...
Antiaris, huge amounts of Bromance.
Very rarely do I find a person to so eloquently and artistically describe the most fundamental of our psychological issues.
The logical conclusion is often one we reach ourselves, but the emotional ties stop us from executing them. We are slaves to our own feelings; we know that two plus two equals four, but if four isn't what we want to hear, we will gladly tell ourselves the answer is five and fervently believe it.
A voice of reason, a third-party intervention... it's all we need as a push in the right direction sometimes.
Thanks buddy. I recommend everyone heed this laddie's words!
Very rarely do I find a person to so eloquently and artistically describe the most fundamental of our psychological issues.
The logical conclusion is often one we reach ourselves, but the emotional ties stop us from executing them. We are slaves to our own feelings; we know that two plus two equals four, but if four isn't what we want to hear, we will gladly tell ourselves the answer is five and fervently believe it.
A voice of reason, a third-party intervention... it's all we need as a push in the right direction sometimes.
Thanks buddy. I recommend everyone heed this laddie's words!
Original post by Antiaris
Hoping to do Nutrition and Food Consumer Science. I've been interested in food and the food industry since I was... 4 years old, baking in my Grandmother's kitchen?
Also Riku, I went through the same thing. You crave something sweet, you have no idea what. When that happens I begin to look at other body parts and what they want. Am I cold? Then maybe something hot. Do my teeth need something? Something crunchy like a biscuit. Does it need a comforting fatty edge? Cake or chocolate.
I have to say though that it took a while to do. I honestly was terrified at the idea of chocolate, cake gave me palpitations, a tart was torture. One day though, I just went for it. I told myself that I would get that biscuit I craved. No excuses. I took in the fact, yes, it contains some bad stuff but also had some GOOD stuff. We can't get rid of the bad stuff in the biscuit, but we also can't get rid of the bad stuff in ourselves without letting in some of that biscuity goodness.
You just have to accept a biscuit isn't perfect, but perfect isn't always right...
Also Riku, I went through the same thing. You crave something sweet, you have no idea what. When that happens I begin to look at other body parts and what they want. Am I cold? Then maybe something hot. Do my teeth need something? Something crunchy like a biscuit. Does it need a comforting fatty edge? Cake or chocolate.
I have to say though that it took a while to do. I honestly was terrified at the idea of chocolate, cake gave me palpitations, a tart was torture. One day though, I just went for it. I told myself that I would get that biscuit I craved. No excuses. I took in the fact, yes, it contains some bad stuff but also had some GOOD stuff. We can't get rid of the bad stuff in the biscuit, but we also can't get rid of the bad stuff in ourselves without letting in some of that biscuity goodness.
You just have to accept a biscuit isn't perfect, but perfect isn't always right...
Thank you, thank you and thank you. I didn't just read this, for once, I actually heard it.
I love biscuits.
I woke up feeling really positive today. It's nice.
My doctor said I have to wait until January for sessions with a psychotherapist, I can't deal with this any more. I feel empty, like this is all that's left of me. I can't get out of this cycle, my head is everywhere, I can't control my emotions and going in and out of denial over what I do all the time. There's just no way out, I'm stuck.
(edited 12 years ago)
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