Your honest view of shy/non-confident people?

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Hm tough one this. I did used to be very shy when I was younger and this was only because I was bullied in primary school. Now I've come back out of my shell again and get along with people easily - people have different consequences on others

Reply 21

hippieglitter

I've always been shy but all too often its seen as hostility, but in my new job people actually go out of their way to talk to me or include me in their conversations which is really good, its helped me to come out of my shell a bit where as in the past if I have plucked up the courage and tried to contribute to a conversation, people look at me as if they previously assumed I was mute, which tbh makes me even less likely to talk in the future. I don't know its because this group of people is a lot younger and therefore more open to new people or just because its a different environment. As a shy person myself I try not to judge shy people but I can see how shyness can be perceived as hostility. If you try to talk to someone and they keep just giving short one word answers it can seem a little rude and people in the end will get bored and leave them alone, so shy as a person may be, no one can help them if they don't help themselves and start talking.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 22

username321708

Original post by Notethis

It's a disability.

Major lulz. Do they need special treatment too? Get over it. I was shy once, then I realised how pathetic I was and grew up. It's their life, they can live like moles if they want; less competition that way.

Reply 23

Not-on-your-nelly

I used to be really shy, hardly even talked to my friends. Some people would comment on how quite I was but it never really bothered me, I knew that's not who I really was deep down so I just got on with my life and ignored it. When I got a job and went to university I was forced to interact with people and that really helped me come out of my shell. Now I can quite happily stand up in front of a crowd of people and talk without any problems.

Reply 24

Elissabeth

I myself am very shy, non-confident etc.

I HATE people commenting on it, I mean what are they trying to achieve?

It just makes things ten times worse for me tbh, because I become more self-aware.

Although, I find it helps to think about it that the person commenting probably has something wrong with themselves to be judging others.

I feel like I want to scream 'YES, I AM QUIET, GET THE #### OVER IT!!!!!!'.

lol.

Or knock out the next person who says it!!!!

Reply 25

fifi*

just accept them for who they are, no one is perfect and they shouldn't really be judged for being a bit shy.

Reply 26

Elissabeth

Original post by 21stcenturyphantom

Sorry, but I disagree with this. The way I am definitely isn't a choice.

Why would it be?

Why would anyone want to be like that?

Reply 27

janet9

There's nothing wrong with a little shyness. I don't hate or do anything to make shy people uncomfortable, but I don't want to be the kinda person who totally bends over backwards just to interact with someone who's shy unless I really need to. There should be a 'meet-me-halfway' point, and if they can't still communicate, then so be it. Doesn't mean they won't listen. Everyone's a little shy from time to time, but still, shy people are sombody's somebody and have feelings just like everyone else, so nothing justifies being condescending towards them or making them feel inferior in any way.

Reply 28

ForgettingWhatsername

Original post by jo d

Why is that confident people's issue?

I think it lends to leaving the shy on the curb, we don't need them.

I think trolls like you should be left on the curb, out with the trash. We sure as hell don't need them :h:

Reply 29

Miryo

I'm not shy but a lot of people would say I am, I'm not going to make small talk or talk about any bull**** I'm not interested in, I don't really care what you did over the weekend..I'm not going to make an effort to take to people if I'm not interested.

Reply 30

Rarrgh

Original post by jo d

the very notion of being fearful of others is nonsensical.

I'm not fearful of others... I don't like other people. Being shy and non-confident of others has nothing to do with fear most of the time. In most cases i find they just don't like to talk up, they don't have much to say, they don't feel the need to be talking the loudest.

And the very notion of judging people and deeming them to be inhuman due to not wanting to talk as much as your or other people, or maybe being scared of people as some may be is even more nonsensical that the actual fear itself.

Reply 31

hannahchan

Original post by jo d

Why is that confident people's issue?

I think it lends to leaving the shy on the curb, we don't need them.

well i bet you're some obnoxious person who talks about 10s a minute.

no one honestly cares what you have to say - that's the way i see it so therefore i don't talk that much.

Reply 32

cyfer

Screw them to hell. They deserve no sympathy. Confidence is their own problem that they need to deal with and face just like anyone's fears. Good luck getting a decent job by the way!

Frankly the only excuse for being shy in my opinion is having served in the military or having suffered severe domestic abuse or rape. Anything else can be solved e.g. obesity is not an excuse (no it's not bloody genetic)

Original post by Miryo

That's not being shy. Being shy is not talking at all (or extremely infrequently) yet once you are one on one with someone you constantly look for pity and want to suddenly talk about everything

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 33

Naarim

Original post by jo d

I meant why should confident people care if the "shy" need comforting? As said, we should just throw them onto the curb.

Why should we care about how anyone else feels, why don't we just throw our friends on the curb when they're feeling down as we can't be having them getting us down too.

If you're not trolling, get a grip.

Reply 34

cyfer

Original post by Naarim

Feeling down is not the same as being shy or being an emo, which is essentially just narcissism disguised as depth.

If someone is constantly shy or an emo, yes throw them onto the curb, they're not worth anything. If someone infrequently needs solace or comfort, then help them out.

Reply 35

Alexandra's Box

There is a difference between not being able to talk to people and genuinely being scared, and just not wanting to prattle on about crap 24/7.
People assume that I'm in the first group, then realise that I'm in the second - I don't give a **** sbout your new pyjamas. Say something intelligent, interseting or funny or just shut up.

Reply 36

BHS12

I am very shy/have bad anxiety although things have started to be improve.

Im shy/quiet around everyone- even my family so its very awkward. I don't know what it is down too, maybe it stems from my disability- i really don't know but it is there.

HOWEVER, that said- its just really initiating conversation for me, sometimes I can't shut up once I get started.

Reply 37

jo d

Original post by Rarrgh

I don't think that's how shyness is defined. Why should anybody be fearful of others?

Reply 38

Naarim

Original post by cyfer

Some people prefer their own company yes. To say they're not worth anything is stupid.

I think most people can be shy, depending on company. How many people do you know that would say phrases such as "People who don't know me think I'm quiet, but those who do think the opposite" describe them...

And it's your choice to make an effort, no one's forcing you. If you think it's a waste of time then fair enough, but that doesn't mean it actually is :rolleyes:

Reply 39

snowdrop x

There's nothing wrong with being reserved or introverted. Of course being shy and being introverted is not the same thing. Looks like there's some people here who are mistaking introverted people for shy people.

People's comments of throwing shy people onto a curb just speak loudly of their anti-social tendencies, imo. Ironically, that's worse than being shy.