I'm half way through the first year at uni, and I'm a little stuck.
I'm living in halls in a flat block of around ten people or so. Most of them get on well, but I find it difficult to integrate myself with them. Gets very lonely, and I feel left out. Really making me unhappy.
I'm not very confident in these sort of situations, sitting down in a kitchen at talking. It's horrible for me, my throat closes up, my mind blanks I find it difficult to talk. I dunno how to get over it, I keep trying again and again, but I don't come over naturally. Really eats me up, get very frustrated with myself.
I've joined lots of clubs at uni, and I'm able to talk a bit more freely and have a better relationship with them. But I don't see them all the time, we meet up maybe once a week, twice a week. Mainly people spend time and get on with their flatmates, which I struggle to do. I'm more comfortable talking on an individual basis, I can pick up the courage, try and forge some sort of conversation out. Can't do that as easily with a group. I try and talk to them individually sometimes but they're often always in a group sitting around a table.
I've invited them to come with me to some clubs or activities, or play some sport together but they've not really accepted that. Most of the time they spend their time socialising. I keep myself busy to some extent with clubs and stuff but it's not really a proper replacement for socialising or becoming good friends with them.
They don't really tend to invite me to stuff, sometimes I ask to come along. I really wish I could just sit down and talk normally to people. I've been told by the uni counsellors I might have social anxiety disorder, I dunno, but I try my best to try and keep and try to initiate conversations with people try to get over it. I've joined a lot of clubs, people said volunteer work might help so I've done that. But it doesn't seem to get better. I've got a little sick of trying with them, I try and talk to them but I come out a mess, I feel crap after I've tried and don't make any headway getting close to them. It's been the same at school too.
Anyone know what I can do?