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She called me mate, I am losing interest

I have liked a girl for while. We have known each other for a long time. We've been on two dates so far. The first one I had my arms around her in the cinema and she put her head on my shoulders. The second date was fine too. At the end, we were quite intimate. I kissed her on the cheek and chatted while holding her. Then we didnt talk for 2 weeks (I was really busy with revision and she also went up to scotland to see her sibling). When I texted her today, part of her reply was, ''so when we meeting up mate?'' I initially just ignored it. But in every following text she repeated the word 'mate' or 'friend'.

I assumed it as a signal that she might not really be interested. Besides, usually her texts were cute and implied she was interested. But today, it's like we are just pals. Tbf I was expecting a little more after talking to someone I like (and thought liked me back) after not talking to her for 15-16 days, compared to the texts we used to send each other.

She suggested we should meet up for a study day next week, so we revise together, which I at first agreed with. But, now if she texts me arranging a day, i'm going to reject it and be a little cold towards her, particularly if she continues this style of conversation.

I don't normally over think stuff, and I actually dont mind being called insulting teasing names but the fact that she kept saying 'friend and mate' numerously has bothered me. Do you think I have the right to be concerned? Do you reckon there is a reason for this change in tone of message?

THANKS GUYS. Really appreciate it
(edited 12 years ago)

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It does seem like she is trying to say something here.
When I was with my boyfriend I used to call him 'dude'. It didn't mean I liked him any less. But if this girl has suddenly started calling you mate then it seems that she is trying to say she sees you as more of a friend.
Reply 2
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by StartSomething
It does seem like she is trying to say something here.
When I was with my boyfriend I used to call him 'dude'. It didn't mean I liked him any less. But if this girl has suddenly started calling you mate then it seems that she is trying to say she sees you as more of a friend.


Yes thanks. That's the impression I got too.
Reply 3
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SugarPuffs
5
Original post by StartSomething
It does seem like she is trying to say something here.
When I was with my boyfriend I used to call him 'dude'. It didn't mean I liked him any less. But if this girl has suddenly started calling you mate then it seems that she is trying to say she sees you as more of a friend.


:lolwut: To me it just sounds like the OP has been friend-zoned. OP, if it's starting to bug you, bring it up the next time you meet up with her in person, so you'll find out what she means by it (either she only sees you as a friend, or maybe it means nothing at all, and she still likes you as much as she did before she went away).

Don't start ignoring her though.. that's not cool.
Original post by SugarPuffs
:lolwut: To me it just sounds like the OP has been friend-zoned. OP, if it's starting to bug you, bring it up the next time you meet up with her in person, so you'll find out what she means by it (either she only sees you as a friend, or maybe it means nothing at all, and she still likes you as much as she did before she went away).

Don't start ignoring her though.. that's not cool.


That's what I was trying to say - that he's been friend zoned lol
Reply 5
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SugarPuffs
5
Original post by StartSomething
That's what I was trying to say - that he's been friend zoned lol


Ha :redface: Yeah... bad luck OP; time to find a new girl I guess! :teehee:
Reply 6
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by SugarPuffs
:lolwut: To me it just sounds like the OP has been friend-zoned. OP, if it's starting to bug you, bring it up the next time you meet up with her in person, so you'll find out what she means by it (either she only sees you as a friend, or maybe it means nothing at all, and she still likes you as much as she did before she went away).

Don't start ignoring her though.. that's not cool.


Hahah It's a sudden friend-zone decision. I'm sure she is entitled to change her feelings. But 2 weeks, it's a bit strange. No i'm not going to ignore her. But I'm not interested in meeting her in person as 'a mate'. Plus, I have realised she always asks for more when I don't pay her that much attention
Reply 7
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SugarPuffs
5
Original post by dudeimhere
Hahah It's a sudden friend-zone decision. I'm sure she is entitled to change her feelings. But 2 weeks, it's a bit strange. No i'm not going to ignore her. But I'm not interested in meeting her in person as 'a mate'. Plus, I have realised she always asks for more when I don't pay her that much attention


If she's initiating conversation and wanting to meet up with you... I'd say that is a good sign of her liking your company and wanting to escalate things :redface: Just flirt and tease and catch up with her :wink: Ask her how scotland was and then make babies!! :ahee: No but just act normal and be a friend to her until you find out more about this whole 'mate' thing that has cropped up in recent text messages.
Reply 8
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by SugarPuffs
If she's initiating conversation and wanting to meet up with you... I'd say that is a good sign of her liking your company and wanting to escalate things :redface: Just flirt and tease and catch up with her :wink: Ask her how scotland was and then make babies!! :ahee: No but just act normal and be a friend to her until you find out more about this whole 'mate' thing that has cropped up in recent text messages.


Sure yep, well she should initiate the plan if she wants to meet. I'm not going to ask her, so I guess the ball is in her court :biggrin:
Reply 9
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SugarPuffs
5
Original post by dudeimhere
Sure yep, well she should initiate the plan if she wants to meet. I'm not going to ask her, so I guess the ball is in her court :biggrin:


Just don't leave her hanging though because then she'll put the ball back in your court and will start to do the same to you! :teehee: Maybe she might have met a guy up in scotland or something?
'Mate' doesn't always mean it's the end, that you've no chance. Maybe it's her way of flirting.
Reply 11
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by SugarPuffs
Just don't leave her hanging though because then she'll put the ball back in your court and will start to do the same to you! :teehee: Maybe she might have met a guy up in scotland or something?


Maaaaaaybeeeee :bandit:
Reply 12
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by Mr Advice
'Mate' doesn't always mean it's the end, that you've no chance. Maybe it's her way of flirting.


You are right, not always. But it was the repetition of mate that made me think lol.
Original post by dudeimhere
You are right, not always. But it was the repetition of mate that made me think lol.


I see. If she repeated numerous times she's probably giving a hint. Maybe you could reply asking something along the lines of why you always saying 'mate' or' friend'.
Reply 14
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by Mr Advice
I see. If she repeated numerous times she's probably giving a hint. Maybe you could reply asking something along the lines of why you always saying 'mate' or' friend'.


yes I will do. cheers
Can you post the text? I have to agree with others tit seems like she's trying to friend-zone you, and she's making sure that you know you're just her friend. A girl that does fancy you wouldn't repeatedly write mate and friend...
Reply 16
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dudeimhere
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Original post by Birdman1234567
Can you post the text? I have to agree with others tit seems like she's trying to friend-zone you, and she's making sure that you know you're just her friend. A girl that does fancy you wouldn't repeatedly write mate and friend...



Original post by Mr Advice
I see. If she repeated numerous times she's probably giving a hint. Maybe you could reply asking something along the lines of why you always saying 'mate' or' friend'.


I wanted to test her today too. She repeated the word again. I asked her 'is this repetition a subtle hint?', to which she replied ''maybe :tongue:'' then said ''no it's just my habbit''.

I think I get it. She has lost interest :frown: it's kind of unfair because I feel she was interested. Oh well
Maybe she's just a bit upset that you two didnt speak for 2 weeks? Maybe she thought you didn't like her that much, so she's being defensive by calling you mate - just a thought. If she's asking you to meet up with her, that's definitely a good sign - I'd go and see how things are in person.
Reply 18
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dudeimhere
OP
Original post by butterfly1452
Maybe she's just a bit upset that you two didnt speak for 2 weeks? Maybe she thought you didn't like her that much, so she's being defensive by calling you mate - just a thought. If she's asking you to meet up with her, that's definitely a good sign - I'd go and see how things are in person.


I had always been clear to her about my feelings. She knows how I 've always felt. But I'm not seeing it back anymore. I didnt talk to her but I was thinking about her, wanted to text, but I wanted to have fun with her sister and friends. I don't think I don't want to see her for some time, whether as friends or more than a friend. She was never like this the last 4-5 months, never :frown:
Original post by dudeimhere
I wanted to test her today too. She repeated the word again. I asked her 'is this repetition a subtle hint?', to which she replied ''maybe :tongue:'' then said ''no it's just my habbit''.

I think I get it. She has lost interest :frown: it's kind of unfair because I feel she was interested. Oh well


What? She said it's a habit so she does it regularly? How is that a bad thing?

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