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I won't be able to have kids/get married. What should I do?

Anonymous #1

I'm 18 years old, still single, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin never been kissed etc. I am extremely and repulsively ugly. I have been told this by people at school and I am 100% sure this is true. Call me insecure, but only people who look like me are very insecure with themselves.

When I was younger, I was very delusional. I believed that one day I'd marry a rich and attractive man and we'd have kids and live a nice life. Total bull****.

I was even told once by boy, that I'm too ugly to get married. He asked his friends if they agreed with him and they said yes. Mind you, this came out of the blue.

What can I do? I'd love to have kids, I adore babysitting my neighbor's kids and teaching them.

I also believe I'd be a good wife too. I can cook well, I'm intelligent and hard working, I listen, I care, I make people laugh. I'm always supportive of people in my life. I do selfless things all the time.

But since I am shocking unattractive, I am as they say "forever alone".

Its heartbreaking because I want to live a regular life, but I can't. Whenever I see couples/women with children/new born babies I can't help but feel depressed.

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Reply 1

Rocketfairy

Someone out there will find you attractive, honestly. Even if they're hideous themselves :smile:

Reply 2

Gaofanfan

There are so many options to consider, like adoption and IVF.

I mean, getting married is not the only way to have babies nowadays, so before you conclude and say that you will be forever alone, think of all these possibilities!

If you think your look has seriously hampered you from going through your day to day, consider plastic surgery. I don't advocate changing your looks just for the sake of becoming more physically attractive, but if it ENHANCES your look by doing that gives you more confidence and changes your life then go ahead and do it.

One last word, no one is truely ugly as long as you have a beautiful heart! <3<3<3

Reply 3

HIMYM

Try to compensate it with having a fit body. I know this sounds mean but if u have not been gifted with a pretty face, having a fit body will make you feel much more secure about yourself and look better.

Reply 4

GeorgetheAug

Personally I think 18 years old is a bit early to be thinking about children or marriage... especially if you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place!

If you like children try getting a suitable job in a nursery or something?

Reply 5

eff01

The world is massive and their will be someone out there who you will marry. Being attractive and appealing to the opposite sex is all cosmetic and can easily be dealt with. I know this is shallow, but is it about you that people find unattractive? If it's weight, then we can diet and lose weight, if it's the way you look then you can easily change your hairstyle, clothing etc to make yourself look attractive. The best thing about you is that you are intelligent, yes guys like a pretty face but no guy wants to be with someone who doesn't have a brain.
My point is making yourself look attractive is all something that is in our control and we can easily address. Don't be down, the people who are saying such things to you I doubt are are the guys you would want to be attracted to.
Good luck and I hope it all works out :smile:

Reply 6

Meee123

Apply to go on 'The Undateables'.....I'm sure they'll hook you up with someone. :wink:

BTW I reckon you're trolling. Even if you're not, you're talking nonsense. I'm not exactly 'HOT' but one thing I've learned is that if you learn to like yourself, others will too. Developing my confidence gave me some kind of 'spark' that sent the boys coming in packs :biggrin:

....seriously though, there IS someone out there for everyone, and perhaps if you stop panicking and acting desperate, and just focus on other things, love will come to you when you least expect it. And 18 is still very young, lady!

Reply 7

{Unregistered}

WTF? No one's ever ugly enough to be deemed incapable or unworthy of reproducing. If you are really serious (and not a troll), I'd suggest you just chill and don't worry.

Reply 8

Chwirkytheappleboy

Attractiveness is a subjective thing. The corollary of that is that you're not objectively ugly; some people (even if a relatively small number) will be attracted to you. It only takes one.

You're only 18 years old, and have only met a small subset of the 6bn or so people in the world. Stop worrying, you've got a lot of time and a lot of people to meet

Reply 9

F Ellen

You're only 18! Worry about not having kids if you've still not met someone when approaching menopause!

There's loads of butt ugly people out there popping out as many kids as they can. Though I suspect you are overreacting about your looks.

Reply 10

username430180

uglypeopleproblems.tumblr.com

Reply 11

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Oh OP

. I've also been told by nasty schoolkids that I'm too unattractive to be anyone's girlfriend, so I know how you feel :sad:

. Then again, I've also more recently had other people telling me that I'm gorgeous :lol:

. My look hasn't changed all that much in the past few years, except I do my makeup better, dress better and do my hair better now. I'm still not drowning in male attention, but oh well, I've had a few dates in the past year so it's a start I guess.

I don't know what you look like so it's hard for me to judge, but do remember that beauty is quite subjective, and pretty much everyone will have some people call them ugly and also some people call them good looking. You just need to somehow find a guy who will find you good looking. I'm sure he's out there somewhere! If you don't already, what I'd suggest try to start improving what you can about your appearance, such as good skincare, exercise, good clothes, nice hair and makeup. Not only will you look better, but you'll also probably start feeling better about yourself too, and there fore more attractive to others :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 12

Pride

Original post by Anonymous

OP, you're only 18.

Listen (read).

Think of the people you know that are in relationships or are married. Famous people as well. You need to realise that you don't have to be an absolutely amazing looking person, or very sociable to find somebody. There is someone for everyone in this world. You just need to wait. You WILL find someone, there is no doubt about that.

At 18 years old, I highly doubt you are hideously ugly, I doubt there is nothing in you that many guys out there would find attractive. Think about people you know. Are you only attracted to people because of their looks? Of course not! And nor are we. There are bound to be lots of people your age that are materialistic, people want to show off their girlfriend/boyfriend, they want to judge, they only think about looks and what you'd be like in bed. But not everyone's like that.

You're only 18, you haven't met all the people you will yet, you've got loads of time. Chin up, pluck up the courage to speak to more guys (easier said than done, but just do it, say hello). We like it when a girl is courageous enough to put the effort in with this kind of thing. You'd be surprised how a man would react when you smile and say hello, make eye contact, and try to hold a conversation. There's always this expectation that we have to do that. Try it, do you think he'd go 'woah, so ugly, stop talking to me...'? Obviously he wouldn't, and if anyone does, you're going for the wrong people.

I'm gonna stop now, chin up ok?

Reply 13

akpad

You're only 18. Your looks may change with time. Everyone's constantly evolving and changing. Nothing is stagnant. Your features will probably become more refined with time, and as you learn and incorporate things in your life to help enhance what you've got i.e. make-up, hairstyles, better clothes etc. you will look better in a few years time, trust me. Everyone looks back and cringes at what they looked like when they were teenagers. I used to have a big-ish nose as a teenager, I'm nearly 21 now and it's not as big as it used to be. I also used to wear glasses which I think kind of made it look bigger somehow, but now that I wear contacts, I look totally different to how I used to. Just improve what you can whilst staying healthy, because if you're healthy and happy on the inside it's going to show on the outside too. Then just wait and see what happens in the future. We think we know exactly how our life is going to pan out at the age of 18, when make our first steps in the real world, but rarely does it work out the way we predict. So stop predicting and worrying and just find ways to enjoy your life.

Reply 14

ddrrzzeerr

There are some very desperate men about, they might be a bit creepy but I think anyone can find a partner.

Reply 15

GFQ

I think a person is beautiful by heart.IF u hve a good personality & heart looks automatically start looking good.
Hang out with ur frends and dnt worry about getting married etc just try n b normal and like poepl sed chnge a litle bit go to a stylist or somethig to fix ur fashion and looks up or enhance u more :smile:

Just dnt give up and plz dnt say ur ugly becz no1 is ugly..everyones different man... :smile:

xhope this helps
And belive ib urself and if a guy isnt attractied or any1 tells u ur ugly, fineu may b ugly if they think so but then really thoese ppl r ugly bcz\ they hve a **** personality etc :smile:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

I have come to the conclusion that I am the ugliest woman in the world. The women on Jeremy Kyle are more beautiful than me or else how did they manage to have kids?

I could enter the Guinness World Book of Records for being the world's most repulsive looking woman.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 17

Hello:D

Awwwww come on now. No need to be so harsh on yourself.

I'd rather be with a girl who was ugly, but had an amazing personality like you described, instead of some one who was gorgeous, but but a complete bitch

I'm sure you'll find someone :smile:

Reply 18

facdroit

Original post by GFQ

Just dnt give up and plz dnt say ur ugly becz no1 is ugly..everyones different man... :smile:

Pseudo feel good science and an army of smilies.

There's a big difference between a good response and a feel good response.

Looks are VERY important for women.
Feel free to google the insane amount of studies done on good looking women getting better pay,further in their careers,richer husbands etc etc.

Reply 19

sweeter than a cherry pie

Unless you suffer some sort of facial deformity I'm afraid I have limited sympathy for what you're saying. There's more to life than looks, and more that matters in a relationship/marriage/parenthood. If you genuinely believe you are so repulsively ugly that no-one will ever want you, perhaps you have body dysmorphic disorder? I doubt that people have meant what they've said to you - if they're nasty enough to say such horrible things, they're probably the type that play on a person's insecurities to upset them.

There are things you can do to improve your looks, but it sounds more like you need to improve your confidence.