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I don't imagine your mum wants to throw you out but there is only so much violence anyone can tolerate. First step is to consider if you can get help dealing with the ptsd and ways to divert the anger into other channels. Might sound odd but art therapy or cognitive behaviour therapy might be worth a try. Your mum might let you stay if there was a prospect of improvement. If she felt she had to have a break she might be able to let you return after therapy.

Social services should be your first point of call. If you are still under 16 do quickly as I believe they have some responsibilty up to 18 if you've seen them before 16.

You're unlikely to get a flat - b&b or hostel are more likely. Obviously the people there are likely to have problems, they may do drugs but drugs are not supposed to be in the accommodation. They will try to help you find work or some sort of training place. If you get a job you may be eligible for housing credit and tax credit, low paid workers get financial help too.

Sometimes churches do food banks, they normally only provide a few days foods and it can be mainly beans and prunes.
Original post by Fynch101
Cambridge... yet thinks the royal family are on the equivalent of benefits. What on earth?


Just because I don't agree with the concept of the royal family doesn't mean I am an idiot.
Reply 62
Original post by adam321
PTSD Comes in different forms mine is quite bad


My friend was beaten by his mother. At the age of 7 he was raped by a "family friend" and he has continually relived this moment up until now. Not sure how your reasons compare, I would say his will generally come up on top. Also, don't try and say that you had a different form...yes there are different forms of it but that is irrelevant, people deal with it in different ways. He didn't tell anyone the rape had actually taken place until the age of 13.

PTSD comes in different forms but they can be countered by the way people deal with them. People often use it as an excuse for behavior like yours, this would typically need counselling to unearth the true issues behind it.
Original post by anonymousaudit
Your mum will need to sign a letter explaining why she's chucking you out, and that you need to claim JSA.


If the OP is in full-time education, they won't be able to claim JSA. Either way, they can claim income support.
Original post by Copycats&Acrobats
Lol jog on! I pay tax too you know, and I'm sure you'll change your mind if you ever find yourself without a job or home, but I suppose then it'll be different then right?


:yep: it's always different when such people fall on hard times.
Original post by adam321
I might try counselling i turned it down when it was offered


Ignore that other poster...PTSD does come in different forms. But in a sense they were right as you need to identify your triggers and learn to avoid responding to them in such a negative way?! You really need to go to counselling. The difference it can make is huge...my youngest brother was getting suspended on a bi-weekly basis...he actually got some help for his PTSD and hasn't been in any form of trouble at school (minus a paint fight that evolved into a clay fight in art...) for 2 years. I used to get SO angry but now have learnt how to simmer that rage down into one simple look, turn away and think about it. Counselling does the world of good. CB therapy may be useful for you, too.
Reply 66
Original post by XxelliexX
Why do you assume that I don't have a comfortable meaningful existence? The mere fact that I am able to be talking to you now shows that I am fortunate enough to have access to the internet, a privilege that billions of people around the world don't, so to say that I am not comfortable is insulting not only to me but to the majority of the world's population who are far worse off than me.
How do you define 'meaningful existence'? If it's having parents who are able to provide you with a 'middle class, safe home', 'a widescreen TV', 'a radiator next to [your] bed', 'and a car', then I'm afraid to say I strongly disagree.
I am not jealous. I am in fact very proud of myself for being in the situation that I am in, about to go to one of the best universities in the world in september, despite not being from a rich middle class home and without being mollycoddled by my parents.

Anyway. This is off track and not helpful to the OP. Please PM me if you would like to continue this conversation.


I did not say that any of those things constitute a comfortable meaningful existence, how about I put it into layman's terms?

Comfortable I would class as being very content in your lifestyle, be it materialistically, emotionally or physically.

I would class the next part of my statement, meaningful to mean again that someone is happy with their lifestyle, meaning that they are making a difference to the world around them. My parents are obviously doing this by earning a higher than average income and paying taxes for people like Adam to be on benefits. Other than this, the charity that my Father does a lot of donating/working for affects the lives of MANY people.

Does that suffice for an explanation?
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. My advice would however be to speak to social services and the citizens advice, I don't understand your situation so I cannot comment further but I would say, no body on here can provide you with the advice you require so there is no point requesting it. Seek the help you require, and deserve.
Good Luck.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by L i b
Citizens' Advice point echoed.



Sigh....

For all the ignorant ********s (and yes, you are ********s - being deliberately provocative for the sake of it) the Queen does not get a penny of salary for being the head of state, despite working an extremely exhaustive job into her 80s.


As provocative as they may be, you're being equally facetious claiming her "job" is "extremely exhaustive". Besides, I would say the point about her non-salary is redundant given that she's one of the most privileged individuals on the planet.
Original post by glelin96
My parents are obviously doing this by earning a higher than average income and paying taxes for people like Adam to be on benefits. Other than this, the charity that my Father does a lot of donating/working for affects the lives of MANY people.

Does that suffice for an explanation?


And? Your parents aren't the only taxpayers. None of us really know the OP's situation.
Original post by glelin96
My friend was beaten by his mother. At the age of 7 he was raped by a "family friend" and he has continually relived this moment up until now. Not sure how your reasons compare, I would say his will generally come up on top. Also, don't try and say that you had a different form...yes there are different forms of it but that is irrelevant, people deal with it in different ways. He didn't tell anyone the rape had actually taken place until the age of 13.

PTSD comes in different forms but they can be countered by the way people deal with them. People often use it as an excuse for behavior like yours, this would typically need counselling to unearth the true issues behind it.


Not a game of one upmanship here but seriously how are you qualified to discuss this?

I'm not going to divulge my childhood experiences but they are significantly worse than those outlined. My father is what is known as a "schedule one" offender (google it). We have one of the longest court injunctions ever granted against him contacting us again, that was the severity of the abuse he perpetrated against us. I had to live with him for 17 years, as did my 4 other siblings who ranged between ages 16 - 13 at that time.

It is VERY common for victims of PTSD, especially those suffering from prolonged abuse, to become violent. It's very common for children leaving an abusive environment to turn on each other, despite all being victims of the same crimes?! As they've been raised around violence it suddenly becomes the norm, the method through which all social interactions are levied. I have endured numerous physical attacks from my siblings who also suffered similar levels of abuse to myself.

It is common to smash stuff up. It's common to hurt people, it's even common to hurt yourself. We saw our dad smash walls through, ceilings in, doors in, I remember he's even kicked a car door in so it was concave whilst I was in the passenger's seat. I've seen my father do things that now, had I been walking past, I would have called the police or intervened. As a result of growing up in such a tense, angry, abusive atmosphere you are of course going to pick up habits as you believe it to be the norm?!

I was never that bad but I've seen my brothers mimic that level of abuse and anger as a result of their PTSD. I've seen them punch walls repeatedly, come home covered in blood from fights at school, numerous expulsions, etc. On the other side- one of my sister just never stops crying. Two of them had eating disorders. Self harm, pulling out your own hair, suicidal thoughts, the works. There are 5 of us so we have quite a diverse number of symptoms as you can imagine!

It's a long time since we left that abusive home and we're all making our own way through life in the aftermath of our childhood but it's an extremely long, difficult process which varies GREATLY for each individual. PTSD is an extremely upsetting aftermath of childhood abuse and it does come in many different forms. PLEASE do not generalise and PLEASE do not spread your misinformed opinions, especially when they are so condoning of others.

Sorry to divulge such a mass of extremely personal information just people like you who try to shame people and invalidate their experiences and plights really do my head in.
Original post by XxelliexX
I am in fact very proud of myself for being in the situation that I am in, about to go to one of the best universities in the world in september, despite not being from a rich middle class home and without being mollycoddled by my parents.

Anyway. This is off track and not helpful to the OP. Please PM me if you would like to continue this conversation.


Well done, seriously enjoy your time at uni and boss your exams, come out and get an amazing job. You're a sweet girl with a lot of integrity x
Reply 72
Original post by OU Student
And? Your parents aren't the only taxpayers. None of us really know the OP's situation.


No, I do not proclaim my parents are. And I have nothing against OP for using the benefit system that in my opinion is so fatally flawed. I can understand the situation is traumatic yet I feel the blaming of this on his condition is fictitious, allowing him to claim several other benefits at the cost of not only my parents, but every other tax payer. I understand that many people use the benefit system due to need but the fact that OP will most likely get disability living allowance fictitiously because he has used that as an excuse I find quite frankly appalling.
Original post by OU Student
If the OP is in full-time education, they won't be able to claim JSA. Either way, they can claim income support.


Assumed they were out of full time education as if you're 16 in July/August you've most likely just completed year 11/GCSE exams & they made no mention of sixth form. However, OP, if you do decide to go to college you can also claim access to learning credits to help out with costs of living/costs of commuting to college/etc.
Reply 74
Original post by XxelliexX
Just because I don't agree with the concept of the royal family doesn't mean I am an idiot.


Well you said the royal family are benefits scroungers, which isn't the same as just saying you don't agree with it. The Queen and Prince Phillip can't be expected to do much these days, Prince Charles helps manage the prince's trust and seems to do a fair bit on climate change but he too is quite old now, and the other princes all have fairly important jobs, e.g. The Duke of Cambridge as a search and rescue helicopter pilot. They are definitely not work shy. Nor are they scrounging.

It was a completely thoughtless, throw away remark.
Reply 75
Original post by anonymousaudit
Not a game of one upmanship here but seriously how are you qualified to discuss this?

I'm not going to divulge my childhood experiences but they are significantly worse than those outlined. My father is what is known as a "schedule one" offender (google it). We have one of the longest court injunctions ever granted against him contacting us again, that was the severity of the abuse he perpetrated against us. I had to live with him for 17 years, as did my 4 other siblings who ranged between ages 16 - 13 at that time.

It is VERY common for victims of PTSD, especially those suffering from prolonged abuse, to become violent. It's very common for children leaving an abusive environment to turn on each other, despite all being victims of the same crimes?! As they've been raised around violence it suddenly becomes the norm, the method through which all social interactions are levied. I have endured numerous physical attacks from my siblings who also suffered similar levels of abuse to myself.

It is common to smash stuff up. It's common to hurt people, it's even common to hurt yourself. We saw our dad smash walls through, ceilings in, doors in, I remember he's even kicked a car door in so it was concave whilst I was in the passenger's seat. I've seen my father do things that now, had I been walking past, I would have called the police or intervened. As a result of growing up in such a tense, angry, abusive atmosphere you are of course going to pick up habits as you believe it to be the norm?!

I was never that bad but I've seen my brothers mimic that level of abuse and anger as a result of their PTSD. I've seen them punch walls repeatedly, come home covered in blood from fights at school, numerous expulsions, etc. On the other side- one of my sister just never stops crying. Two of them had eating disorders. Self harm, pulling out your own hair, suicidal thoughts, the works. There are 5 of us so we have quite a diverse number of symptoms as you can imagine!

It's a long time since we left that abusive home and we're all making our own way through life in the aftermath of our childhood but it's an extremely long, difficult process which varies GREATLY for each individual. PTSD is an extremely upsetting aftermath of childhood abuse and it does come in many different forms. PLEASE do not generalise and PLEASE do not spread your misinformed opinions, especially when they are so condoning of others.

Sorry to divulge such a mass of extremely personal information just people like you who try to shame people and invalidate their experiences and plights really do my head in.


How qualified do you think I am to cover this matter? I am only in a happy middle class home due to the fact that I am adopted. I have a great knowledge of the scheduling system with criminals that are a risk to children. Due to the sex offenders act my Father began to worry about the fact that he may have been convicted. I was under these pretenses kidnapped from my mother who had legal custody and taken with him to try and hold me as a hostage as such. I was adopted at the age of 14, I went back into my mothers custody but due to the fact they feared for my safety they fast-tracked a private adoption. I lied about the fact that it was my friend, in an attempt to stop this happening.

Back on topic. However "common" it may be, people cope with things differently and I am sure many people do turn violent, I don't think this is actually due to the condition merely to do with their internal coping mechanism. As i said, counselling will help his problems. I did not at one point try to shame him nor invalidate his experiences. I merely tried to give my two cents, I feel I have done this very sufficiently.
Reply 76
Original post by silentlife
What planet do you live on with 360 day years? :tongue:


I wasn't implying that a year is any less than 365 days. I was just stating fact.
become a gangster by joining the mafia. I have Charlie Jolson's number if you need it, pm me.
Original post by L i b


Sigh....

For all the ignorant ********s (and yes, you are ********s - being deliberately provocative for the sake of it) the Queen does not get a penny of salary for being the head of state, despite working an extremely exhaustive job into her 80s.


There's really no need to insult me like that. I would respond further but I think that would be going off track too much. You just don't need to be so rude.
Original post by Fynch101
Well you said the royal family are benefits scroungers, which isn't the same as just saying you don't agree with it. The Queen and Prince Phillip can't be expected to do much these days, Prince Charles helps manage the prince's trust and seems to do a fair bit on climate change but he too is quite old now, and the other princes all have fairly important jobs, e.g. The Duke of Cambridge as a search and rescue helicopter pilot. They are definitely not work shy. Nor are they scrounging.

It was a completely thoughtless, throw away remark.


I was being hyperbolic when I said they were benefit scroungers. I don't care how much they do, the fact that they were born into a set position in life and have their expenses paid for them by the rest of the country is wrong. The idea that the queen should be considered as any more important or worthy of tax-payers money just because she was born into a certain family is wrong, and goes against the whole notion of equality, hard work and social mobility.

Edit: And no, it wasn't thoughtless. I have thought about it lots.