The Student Room Group

Tulisa sex tape "scandal" - why is sex seen as immoral?

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Reply 60
Original post by littleone271
No... but in some ways we are the same.

Anyway my point was that women differ according to the choices they make and their experiences (I don't consider any two experiences to be the same). Basically... if we go through certain things and have certain experiences we end up being quite capable of having casual sex BUT I truly believe that all of us still place a small amount of emotional attachment on sex and none of us are into casual sex from the beginning, even if we fantasised about sex with strangers when we were virgins, it's all environmental but sometimes it's just hard to remember or figure out what started it all. Whether it's disgust because we were drunk and we really can't stand them when we're sober or whether we see them kissing somebody else a few days later when we bump into them or even if we just get a bit down one day and think 'eurgh.. probably shouldn't have done that' it's still a string really and a tiny bit of emotional attachment because we're giving them a bit of headspace after the actual event.

All women are the same in that respect.


i disagree and i don't think you can generalise in that way... i don't really want to repeat myself.
Reply 61
Original post by Bellissima
yes, trying to insult me really strengthens your argument :rolleyes:

if you say so, i don't believe you do.

i'm not sure what you mean by "deeply know" but i know a few who sleep round, they sleep with "anyone". others who i wouldn't say "sleep round" but have casual sex quite often, with people they know. i also know those who could not have casual sex. however this "grouping" of these women is wrong because it's all generalisation and much more complicated. the reasons why these women behave the way they do, in all three groups, is very varied. you cannot fit psychology into three groups and for example, if there were two women, both badly treated by their father. in one woman it might make them want validation and attention from males and cause them to sleep round, in the other it might cause them to be very wary and cautious of men and only sleep with them if they are in a loving relationship. very subjective. you might also just get a woman who enjoys sex with different people and wants to make the most of being young.
however like i said, this has nothing to do with my point, morality.

sex has no value, "devaluing sex" has no meaning. any emotional value put on sex is purely individual and depends on the person. there is no inherant value to sex. no link to morality.


You don't believe I do why? What is your basis for doubt other then paranoia or misguided self-belief?
By deeply know I mean do you know them by more then just name?! Get to actually know them, this is probably why you are so deluded.

This has everything to do with your point because it's to do with the video devaluing sex. You seem to think it's just a casual thing, when you couldn't be further from the truth.

Original post by Bellissima
like i said in my post to coolkid, human brains and even more specifically female brains are not the same. you cannot guarantee how one person will react given the same situation as another. the psychology is different. different people react in different ways because we are not the same.


You are completely wrong. You are female and you are not going to be getting testosterone instead of oestrogen. Your biology is not unique compared to the rest of the human race :facepalm:
And no, the psychology is not different either. Everyone follows the same basic natural programming. The reason someone reacts differently is because their environment has been different, not because they are somehow biologically different. This is why there are so many human trends in things previously regarded as subjective e.g. what is attractive in nature and in a person. Your pseudo-biology is worthless.
Original post by Bellissima
i disagree and i don't think you can generalise in that way... i don't really want to repeat myself.


The reason you're repeating yourself is because you're not really listening to what I'm saying. You say that if two women were abused by their fathers they may turn out completely differently. I agree with you but that doesn't change my argument. The experiences won't be the same because no two experiences can ever be the same and it's the combination of experiences and the timing that make people different so that's why there's room for variation. I just don't believe that anyone is born to one day be more comfortable with casual sex than another. It's purely environmental and that's why I'm saying that I'm no different to how any other woman would be if they had lived the same life as me (as in exactly the same). Because no woman is born to be completely emotionally detached when it comes to casual sex and it isn't something that comes naturally or can be easily learnt... the only women who ever seem to fully achieve it are the ones who turn out to be messed up.

When I say no emotional attachments I mean like literally they could have sex with a guy while sober without even having seen his face properly and not ever really think about it again and just think of it as an enjoyable bodily function comparable to scratching an itch or urinating when you've been holding onto it for a long time etc. Women that go through stages of being like that ALWAYS end up messed up.
Reply 63
Original post by Cool Kid
You don't believe I do why? What is your basis for doubt other then paranoia or misguided self-belief?
By deeply know I mean do you know them by more then just name?! Get to actually know them, this is probably why you are so deluded.

This has everything to do with your point because it's to do with the video devaluing sex. You seem to think it's just a casual thing, when you couldn't be further from the truth.



You are completely wrong. You are female and you are not going to be getting testosterone instead of oestrogen. Your biology is not unique compared to the rest of the human race :facepalm:
And no, the psychology is not different either. Everyone follows the same basic natural programming. The reason someone reacts differently is because their environment has been different, not because they are somehow biologically different. This is why there are so many human trends in things previously regarded as subjective e.g. what is attractive in nature and in a person. Your pseudo-biology is worthless.


because the things you say are unfounded and then you seem to use some guy from a reality TV show as "evidence".

yes i know them more than by name and i know a lot of them very well.

again resorting to the insults :wink: shows you feel you have a strong argument... :rolleyes:

i seem to think what is a casual thing? i do not think tulisas sex tape was a casual thing as she was in a long term relationship. i do not see any link between casual sex and the sex tape. i know people in very long married relationships that bring recording into the bedroom.

again, the video does not devalue sex as "devaluing sex" has no meaning. which you avoided to comment on.

well aside from the fact females do have testosterone and levels of oestrogen and testosterone vary from woman to woman, and yes your human biology DOES differ person to person (come on this is common knowledge).. our psychology IS different.. of course MOST of us have the same instincts on a very basic level... but when it comes down to dealing with different situations... different people react in different ways. you can see this in every day life. regardless of whether it is their environment or genetic or foetal development or hormonal etc., that does not matter. people still react in different ways.
oops and another attempt at an insult oh dear you aren't feeling too confidant are you.
Reply 64
Original post by littleone271
The reason you're repeating yourself is because you're not really listening to what I'm saying. You say that if two women were abused by their fathers they may turn out completely differently. I agree with you but that doesn't change my argument. The experiences won't be the same because no two experiences can ever be the same and it's the combination of experiences and the timing that make people different so that's why there's room for variation. I just don't believe that anyone is born to one day be more comfortable with casual sex than another. It's purely environmental and that's why I'm saying that I'm no different to how any other woman would be if they had lived the same life as me (as in exactly the same). Because no woman is born to be completely emotionally detached when it comes to casual sex and it isn't something that comes naturally or can be easily learnt... the only women who ever seem to fully achieve it are the ones who turn out to be messed up.

When I say no emotional attachments I mean like literally they could have sex with a guy while sober without even having seen his face properly and not ever really think about it again and just think of it as an enjoyable bodily function comparable to scratching an itch or urinating when you've been holding onto it for a long time etc. Women that go through stages of being like that ALWAYS end up messed up.


i'm repeating myself because you aren't changing what you're saying and my answers still stand..

i never said their experiences would be the same, my example was hypothetical.

there are so many different factors that contribute to ones view on sex and i do not believe that all females are inherantly born with a "i hate casual sex and do not get attached" view. i do not believe all women are born emotionally attached to sex.
it's also not purely environmental because different people are different.. genes are different and as a result you are not the same, on lots of different levels. unless you are an identical twin/clone with an EXACT environment, you will not be the same.. and even then it's a bit iffy.


you also don't know they're ALWAYS "messed up".


BUT as i keep saying, what does this have to do with my OP?!?
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 65
Original post by Bellissima
because the things you say are unfounded and then you seem to use some guy from a reality TV show as "evidence".

yes i know them more than by name and i know a lot of them very well.

again resorting to the insults :wink: shows you feel you have a strong argument... :rolleyes:

i seem to think what is a casual thing? i do not think tulisas sex tape was a casual thing as she was in a long term relationship. i do not see any link between casual sex and the sex tape. i know people in very long married relationships that bring recording into the bedroom.

again, the video does not devalue sex as "devaluing sex" has no meaning. which you avoided to comment on.

well aside from the fact females do have testosterone and levels of oestrogen and testosterone vary from woman to woman, and yes your human biology DOES differ person to person (come on this is common knowledge).. our psychology IS different.. of course MOST of us have the same instincts on a very basic level... but when it comes down to dealing with different situations... different people react in different ways. you can see this in every day life. regardless of whether it is their environment or genetic or foetal development or hormonal etc., that does not matter. people still react in different ways.
oops and another attempt at an insult oh dear you aren't feeling too confidant are you.

What insults? What are you on about? :confused:
You obviously don't know them well enough because they aren't going to be some magic exception to human biology & psychology.

The tape reduces sex to porn. You said sex had become casual so reducing the value of it was a redundant point, but that's just a horribly misguided view on biology etc.
The levels will not vary by any significant amount & generally biology does not vary person to person. You are just getting pedantic thinking that the slightest difference somehow matters, when in fact it doesn't.
Explain the waist-hip ratio if we are all so different.
No our psychology is not different. You don't seem to understand that you make different decisions not because you are biologically different, but because your upbringing has been different. Please address the issue of world-wide trends.
Original post by Bellissima
i'm repeating myself because you aren't changing what you're saying and my answers still stand..

i never said their experiences would be the same, my example was hypothetical.

there are so many different factors that contribute to ones view on sex and i do not believe that all females are inherantly born with a "i hate casual sex and do not get attached" view. i do not believe all women are born emotionally attached to sex.
it's also not purely environmental because different people are different.. genes are different and as a result you are not the same, on lots of different levels. unless you are an identical twin/clone with an EXACT environment, you will not be the same.. and even then it's a bit iffy.


you also don't know they're ALWAYS "messed up".


BUT as i keep saying, what does this have to do with my OP?!?


Women are designed to attach emotions to sex whether you like it or not. I don't think even identical twins or clones will ever be the same.. why would they? All they have in common are things like genes, age and appearance. They won't have had the same conversations with the same people on the same days, they won't have seen the same people do the same things they won't even be physically the same because things like fingerprints will be different.

They ARE always messed up though. No matter how they justify it at the time, they always emerge from the other side with serious issues. It stands to reason because they're completely going against how they are designed to be. You can't completely suppress something fundamental to human nature and expect to be completely free of aftershocks. It just doesn't work like that.

I was simply adding to the debate of whether women can have truly casual sex with no emotions whatsoever attached. And my answer is yes but not without emotional conflict that might come an hour afterwards or might come 30 years afterwards.
Reply 67
Original post by littleone271
Women are designed to attach emotions to sex whether you like it or not. I don't think even identical twins or clones will ever be the same.. why would they? All they have in common are things like genes, age and appearance. They won't have had the same conversations with the same people on the same days, they won't have seen the same people do the same things they won't even be physically the same because things like fingerprints will be different.

They ARE always messed up though. No matter how they justify it at the time, they always emerge from the other side with serious issues. It stands to reason because they're completely going against how they are designed to be. You can't completely suppress something fundamental to human nature and expect to be completely free of aftershocks. It just doesn't work like that.

I was simply adding to the debate of whether women can have truly casual sex with no emotions whatsoever attached. And my answer is yes but not without emotional conflict that might come an hour afterwards or might come 30 years afterwards.


Bellissima clearly isn't talking from personal experience or from talking with anyone about it in an honest conversation.

I'm not sure why she's in denial, but it looks like she isn't going to ever admit the truth but somehow wants to tell you that your "wrong" for experiencing what you have :confused:
Reply 68
The furore regarding this whole sorry saga exemplifies everything i despise about our society today. An insignificant slut's sex life is national news.
Reply 69
People moaning about the reaction to this are just as about as people reacting to this.

I read a lot of news and current affairs but, have barely noticed this and the reaction to it. Just avoid it ffs.
Reply 70
Original post by Cool Kid
What insults? What are you on about? :confused:
You obviously don't know them well enough because they aren't going to be some magic exception to human biology & psychology.

The tape reduces sex to porn. You said sex had become casual so reducing the value of it was a redundant point, but that's just a horribly misguided view on biology etc.
The levels will not vary by any significant amount & generally biology does not vary person to person. You are just getting pedantic thinking that the slightest difference somehow matters, when in fact it doesn't.
Explain the waist-hip ratio if we are all so different.
No our psychology is not different. You don't seem to understand that you make different decisions not because you are biologically different, but because your upbringing has been different. Please address the issue of world-wide trends.


everyone is not a clone of eachother, i don't know why you seem to think everyone is identical. i do know a lot of them very well but i don't really care if you don't think i do

it is not porn for other people to watch, it is not porn to sell, it is a private taping of an intimate moment. i said nothing about it being casual you're the one who started banging on about casual sex, i just asked why sex being casual is "immoral" which you can't seem to explain.
yes they can vary quite a lot, hormones affect who we are and how our bodies work, so yes they are significant. again i'm not going to give you a biology lesson so i don't care if you're going to say we are all identical.
what has the waist to hip ratio got to do with anything? if that's an argument about all women being clones, then it's obviously wrong as waist hip ratio varies between women.
like i said who we are as a person and therefore how we react depends on different things, including environment, foetal development, genes (therefore YES we are different)... our psychology is different as we ae not all clones.


anyway none of this has nothing to do with the OP and i don't even know why you started talking about this, so for me at least.. finished.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 71
Original post by littleone271
Women are designed to attach emotions to sex whether you like it or not. I don't think even identical twins or clones will ever be the same.. why would they? All they have in common are things like genes, age and appearance. They won't have had the same conversations with the same people on the same days, they won't have seen the same people do the same things they won't even be physically the same because things like fingerprints will be different.

They ARE always messed up though. No matter how they justify it at the time, they always emerge from the other side with serious issues. It stands to reason because they're completely going against how they are designed to be. You can't completely suppress something fundamental to human nature and expect to be completely free of aftershocks. It just doesn't work like that.

I was simply adding to the debate of whether women can have truly casual sex with no emotions whatsoever attached. And my answer is yes but not without emotional conflict that might come an hour afterwards or might come 30 years afterwards.


neither of you are reading what i am saying. what's the point in any of this if you keep saying i am saying things which i am not saying?
i did not say they would be exactly the same, that was my POINT, that no two people are the same. i don't know why you're going on about that because i agree with that. that was my point. my point was that people are different due to environment, genetics, development (which i guess is environment) etc. which means no two people are the same and people will not all act in the same way.

i'm not even sure what you mean by "messed up" and why you think you have the right to call someone "messed up"... but women who like casual sex are not always "messed up".. they are just different to you. it may not be COMMON, but that does not mean it is wrong or they have to be messed up or they are "going against nature" or whatever.

that does not mean i think every woman can have casual sex because i don't, i agree that a lot of women can't. that does not mean that ALL women can't because yes, we are different. we don't have to be "messed up" to enjoy casual sex.

well coolkids argument was that it was "immoral" not that they couldn't have it without emotions, which is why i was surprised you agreed with him because you don't seem to think it is immoral.
ok fair enough that's your opinion i disagree and i don't think either of us is going to change our mind so... i'm out.
It's not really a sex tape as such she just gave a really bad blow job for about 6 minutes and showed she was a massive slag.
Original post by DJkG.1
Sorry she's a massive slag for doing that.

As for all other matters pertaining to this video, we all know the sole authority is Lethal Bizzle.


Leave it yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Reply 74
Guys in sex tapes are given the whole 'way hey lad, get in there'. Women get slutshamed. Age old double standards.

Personally, I question her ability to judge a talent contest based on her lack of talent or successful career. What she does with her boyfriend has nothing to do with it.
Shes not a slag. She was unlucky to have put her faith in someone who wasn't worth it clearly. I dont see why this should impact her career at all, its hardly fair.


That being said, Lethal Bizzle's video did have me in stitches. #Leaveityeaaaah haha.
Reply 76
I always viewed her as a slag with no sense of class or decency.

I have been proven correct :smug:
Original post by Bellissima
neither of you are reading what i am saying. what's the point in any of this if you keep saying i am saying things which i am not saying?
i did not say they would be exactly the same, that was my POINT, that no two people are the same. i don't know why you're going on about that because i agree with that. that was my point. my point was that people are different due to environment, genetics, development (which i guess is environment) etc. which means no two people are the same and people will not all act in the same way.

i'm not even sure what you mean by "messed up" and why you think you have the right to call someone "messed up"... but women who like casual sex are not always "messed up".. they are just different to you. it may not be COMMON, but that does not mean it is wrong or they have to be messed up or they are "going against nature" or whatever.

that does not mean i think every woman can have casual sex because i don't, i agree that a lot of women can't. that does not mean that ALL women can't because yes, we are different. we don't have to be "messed up" to enjoy casual sex.

well coolkids argument was that it was "immoral" not that they couldn't have it without emotions, which is why i was surprised you agreed with him because you don't seem to think it is immoral.
ok fair enough that's your opinion i disagree and i don't think either of us is going to change our mind so... i'm out.


We're never the same BECAUSE of our experiences. At the beginning we're born fundamentally the same in this department (biologically and psychologically) and if we all lived exactly the same lives then I think we would be the same when it comes to casual sex.

I personally enjoy casual sex from time to time and I wouldn't say that I'm particularly messed up but what I am saying is that there are ALWAYS small emotional ties to a certain extent. You don't always realise it at the time and it might take years to hit you but I don't believe any woman can completely suppress it forever.
Original post by Cool Kid
You obviously do not know your flat mates at all. You sound like nothing more then a self proclaimed player who has the depth of a puddle. If you think your flat mates are 100% fine sleeping around, you are probably very, very, very socially unaware. Another lad with the depth of a puddle I presume?

Recording makes it JUST about visual pleasure :rolleyes:


Sigh, this is going nowhere. Your posts are so full of hypocrisy its frustrating.

For the record you're completely wrong about me. I'm in a relationship and it's my six year anniversary next weekend. You'll probably try to tell me I barely know my girlfriend too. This has nothing to do with depth and social awareness, this is simply a case of an inexperienced kid thinking he knows every woman to a spiritual level.

Your stupidity has turned from amusing to irritating. Your posts are ultimately just I'm right, your wrong with no justification or reasoning so I won't be replying again.
Reply 79
I dont see why theres so much hate her her. People calling her 'slag' and 'chav' etc. Why? A lot of girls have sex with people that they have met on the same day! This is deemed as the 'norm' these days and I think its far worse than being filmed having sex with a long term partner.

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