Muslims that still live with parents + going out

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Reply 40

tsrstar

Original post by Besakt

I'm surprised your parents trust you. :eek:

I've never given them a reason that they know of not to trust me.
:angel:

Reply 41

Anonymous #1

Just go give another example, my sister's friend invited her and others for a meal out last week on Friday (she left at 5:30 and got back at 9:00. they went to her house afterwards). My dad shouted at my sister down the phone for not telling him (though I told him she went out when he got back from work that day) and I told him my mum knew.

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

edit: was meant to put "just to give" not "just go give"...

Reply 43

Besakt

Original post by tsrstar

I've never given them a reason that they know of not to trust me.
:angel:

Is this you?

Honesty is always the best policy.

Reply 44

FunkeyMunkey

I guess it depends on you as a family and as an individual. I'm the exact opposite to you, my parents trust me to go out as I wish as long as I tell them and they are practicing muslims (i.e. they do pray). So I guess you just have to gain your parents trust and they will let you do as you please- its a trust issue- your father probably thinks something bad will happen to you :smile:

Remember that most of the time parents enforce rules they just want the best for you. Try and be understanding, you said your dad is paranoid? ( :frown:

) Try talking to him in a calm way and he might ease up. Other than that there is nothing I can really advise you, its down to you and him. People on here may tell you to 'do whatever you want' or 'don't listen to them' but you should do what you think is right for your situation :smile:

Reply 45

mel0n

Original post by Anonymous

I'm an 18 year old girl living with muslim parents (I plan to move out for uni though) and was interested to hear curfews and rules from others with muslim parents. I just want to say that I myself do not consider myself a strict muslim. I believe in God but I'm not sure I agree with a lot of muslim rules etc. My parents don't pray, my dad drinks, but they've always been kinda strict with my sister and me. I have to let them know a couple of days before I go out where I'm going, when I'll be back, and sometimes they'll say I can't go for practically no reason. When I was 16 they wouldn't let me go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday because the city centre would be full of 'drunk hooligans'. I'm allowed out occasionally until around 10pm with friends if I'm going out for a meal or something, but they seem pretty intrusive with it and I can tell they don't approve. (My dad often asks why I don't just go out earlier). :rolleyes:

They no longer question me a great deal about where I'm going etc because I think they trust me.. at least I hope they do! When I was younger, and lived at home, I didn't have a particular set time for a curfew. Actually my parents were probably quite strict while I was growing up - and I would have to ask them way in advance before I wanted to go somewhere. A lot of the time I would just, of my own choice, not go out :dontknow:

Reply 46

mel0n

Original post by tsrstar

They bought me into this world as a muslim, but i shall leave it as an atheist :smile:

Are they okay with that?

Reply 47

tsrstar

Original post by Besakt

Is this you?

Honesty is always the best policy.

^ I agree.

However, there are exceptions, and my parents fall into that catagory. I don't lie to them as such, i just dont tell them the whole truth, and sugar coat the rest. Theres some glimmer of truth in it.
My parents prefer not being told the truth, i think they rather enjoy not having to deal with the issues that would arise with the truth.

Reply 48

Besakt

Original post by tsrstar

White lies.

I've always been bought up with the morals that lying is wrong. If you do something wrong you must have a reason for it so why lie about it but that's just me. Although this has also got me into trouble at times not with my parents but in school when I use to get into fights and stuff.

Reply 49

tsrstar

Original post by mel0n

Are they okay with that?

They'll never be ok with it. They are rather unsucessfully trying to convert me back.
They know i was never the religious type, i was always questioning everything i was taught when i was younger, but now they worry i won't make it to heaven because i've given up on Islam. Ahh well.. i respect religion, but it's just not for me.

Reply 50

mel0n

Original post by tsrstar

Ook fair does.

Reply 51

Anonymous #6

Original post by Anonymous

Mine are fairly strict. They don't let me drink but I do anyway - they've caught me a couple of times but they don't really make a huge fuss. Tell me not to do it blah blah but yeah.

I go to house parties a lot so get back from them between 12 and 2, I just got back from one half an hour ago. Err I go clubbing occasionally where I'll be back at 4am, they aren't happy about that but I just tell them I wanna have fun with my friends and they back off a bit.

I always have to tell them where I'm going, asking stupid questions like 'who's going' when even if I answered them they wouldn't even know the people - then question WHY the don't know them and I have a go at them - obviously they don't know all my friends.

Should be starting uni this time next year though so all is well - I'll be more free :smile:

Reply 52

JohnC2211

Quite a lot of parents are quite strict with their daughters, Muslim or no.

Reply 53

mel0n

Original post by Anonymous

Didn't you start off your comment by saying your parents are quite strict...?

Reply 54

Anonymous #6

Original post by mel0n

Didn't you start off your comment by saying your parents are quite strict...?

Well they do the big sit down talks all the time - it just doesn't amount to anything and I keep doing my own thing. I have to keep it from them though - I wish I could tell them the truth but they wouldn't let me do what I wanted to if I did.

And they almost tried to force me into studying medicine because I had the grades for it - and did used to want to do it.

But yeah they're very nosey and say I'm not allowed to drink. I discussed the whole subject with them but they won't take any of it so I have to hide it.

Reply 55

Anonymous #6

Also I'm a guy, my brother's allowed girlfriends and stuff and my parents almost encourage me to get a girlfriend. I'll tell you it's not through lack of trying at the moment :tongue:

Reply 56

HumiT

Original post by Anonymous

Also I'm a guy, my brother's allowed girlfriends and stuff and my parents almost encourage me to get a girlfriend. I'll tell you it's not through lack of trying at the moment :tongue:

I wouldn't say your parents are quite strict then :tongue:

Reply 57

Anonymous #1

Original post by JohnC2211

Quite a lot of parents are quite strict with their daughters, Muslim or no.

But, to the point where they won't let a 16 year old daughter go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday, I think not.

Reply 58

qasman

Well I remember before uni I wasn't allowed out after 11/12, not even allowed to stay over at a friend's house for the night! Now that I'm in uni they trust me so I'm allowed to do that now :smile:

Reply 59

tidbury1415

Original post by bananacake14

Oh right. I'm not a muslim sorry :P