GOGSoc Episode V: The GOG Strikes Back

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Hurrah for little girls and their equine dreams. Being poor and having equine dreams sucks. My parents only let my sister have riding lessons and not me, so I used to go and watch her and hang out at the stables and hope one day I would get on a horse. Then I started working for rides. Amazing. I was so happy. It was slave labour, all my free time was spent shovelling and grooming and cleaning and sweeping, but for that hour at the end of the day when I could choose a pony and go for a ride... It was heaven.

Omg no fair, how did your parents justify that?! Did you get some other sort of something lessons instead? Working for rides is the best though, imo: I was never able to because we lived miles from the stables and the lesson was dependent on getting a lift with friends' parents. But I wanted to so much; I wanted to learn how to put on a bridle and felt jealous of the girls who got to hang with the ponies all day. I did voluntary slave labour at the hunting stables opposite my house, but the horses were too big for me to tack up. I was mostly a mucker-outer. Sigh!

Original post by cinosia

Writing: I am stuck between dreams, and sort of feel that my literary destiny lies in writing YA... Then another part of me is really snooty about it and wants to do something SERIOUS and IMPORTANT for CLEVER GROWN-UPS. I guess my priority should be to finish something that I actually like before I worry about such things.

If you feel you have a gift for YA stuff, do it. I'd like to be able to write something more potentially lucrative than serious, grown-up stuff that hardly anyone would read. Maybe a children's book... but only when I have children and actually work out how to talk to them properly.

Reply 361

apotoftea

Original post by cinosia

It's funny you should say that, because seeing International Velvet as a child probably was a crucial turning point for me from one dream to the other. I was totally traumatised by the aeroplane scene and knew I could never be that gun-wielding vet. However, I knew I could be a brilliant rider. (I was wrong, of course, but there we go ...)

Oh god the plane scene *shudder* :frown:

I somehow managed to get paid and get free rides eventually. Those were the days...

Reply 362

sj27

Original post by cinosia

I hope this doesn't sound naive, but can't you do both? Maybe using a pseudonym for the YA stuff so the serious adults won't know? :wink:

Reply 363

cinosia

Original post by the_alba

Well, I did more music than my sister. But that was all messed up too. Complicated. Painful memories. So many regrets!

YA can be very lucrative, indeed. I wonder exactly what it is about certain series (HP, Hunger Games, Twilight..etc) that makes them so phenomenally successful. I think it's important to have a strong sense of place and I'm quite good at world-building. (I spent my childhood making up countries, designing and painting their maps, making up their languages and national anthems... Even national dance, who knows what my parents thought I was doing upstairs, crashing about, singing nonsense syllables..)

Original post by apotoftea

Oh god the plane scene *shudder* :frown:

I know. And the dead finger! And the exploding car! Really quite a horrifying film now I come to think of it.

Reply 364

cinosia

Original post by sj27

I hope this doesn't sound naive, but can't you do both? Maybe using a pseudonym for the YA stuff so the serious adults won't know? :wink:

Definitely a possibility. This is all wild speculation of course, still at the dreaming stage, I haven't published any novels. YET. :wink:

Reply 365

the_alba

Original post by cinosia

Yay me too (I was an only child though, so it's to be expected!). I love the juvenile Brontes for Angria, don't you?

Original post by cinosia

I know. And the dead finger! And the exploding car! Really quite a horrifying film now I come to think of it.

My mum was an extra in that film (the eventing scenes were shot at Burghley, in our home town). I too completely adored the film. The embarrassing erotic fiction her adoptive parents find! The shame!

Reply 366

Drogue

Original post by Becca

Lol well, there were no extenuating circumstances such as the ones you describe apart from his not being able to think of anything...I woke up and received a happy birthday a hug and a kiss, went to work thinking there would be something nice when I got in (dinner cooked for me etc, wasn't expecting anything massive) but I got in and had to make tea. Then we went training and I thought I might get a surprise, but then it became clear I wasn't getting anything so it was the old "being really quiet and glum-getting asked if I was ok- saying I was ok when I actually wasn't" routine for the rest of the evening, with him completely failing to work out why I was upset. It ended with a late-night crying session with me having to tell him outright why I was upset and feeling pathetic about it.
I don't know, I guess I just love buying/making people gifts and making them feel special. I spend a lot of time thinking about appropriate gifts for my family and friends and maybe I have too-high expectations of other people? But it's not like we've only just got together...it was all just a bit weird really.
I did get a belated birthday present of a landline telephone...but I am actually getting a bit upset writing this now lol. I literally would have been happy with a token on the day, a nice dinner cooked for me so I didn't have to do it, flowers or chocolates (I love all those things!) but apparently I am "hard to buy for"? I really don't think I am :dontknow:

This does seem bad in a typical blokey way. It's not the lack of present per se, it's the lack of remorse for it or trying to do something to make up for it. Sure, he might not be able to think of a 'proper' present for you, but making dinner or something to make up for this would seem necessary. Though I know different people have different views when it comes to presents and birthdays, and he may just see it as not being a big deal. Many typical guys don't seem to.

Nobody thinks they're hard to buy for. I can think of huge numbers of presents that would be great for me, however Helen always complains I'm hard to buy for. I'm sure the feeling is somewhat mutual, as while I love buying presents and have loads of ideas of things for her, most of them can't be done for specific reasons:

•

she doesn't have her ears pierced, has loads of necklaces and I've bought her a few bracelets recently, so jewellery is pretty much out;

•

we both think the other person needs to be there if buying clothes for them, so that's out;

•

we 're both on diets, so chocolates/cake is kept to a minimum;

•

she doesn't really have the same interest/love for alcoholic drinks or food that I have (though we do go for a special meal for each of our birthdays);

•

I don't know anything near enough about literature to get her something of that ilk; and

•

she likes durable presents rather than experiences, primarily.

So within the range of things I know about and can rely on to make good presents when carefully chosen, I've pretty much exhausted everything as far as Helen's concerned :frown:

In conclusion, almost everyone is hard to buy for, unless you happen to both know them well and know a lot about the things they like (i.e. more than them). So my dad is very easy for me to buy for, as he loves wine, whisky and food in general, and doesn't spend that much on these commonly, yet they're all things I know quite a bit about, so I can just buy something interesting and a little more extravagent than he'd usually go for of the types I know he likes. But there aren't that many people who are that easy to buy for.

Reply 367

Drogue

Original post by Becca

I think I need to make my expectations clearer :p:

This is good advice for almost any girl in relation to almost any problem involving men...

Reply 368

Piggsil

Original post by the_alba

Ha. I normally try to keep the 'I' out of my reviews, but in one I've just written, I couldn't help myself. A quite senior British poet who really gets off on hammed-up ideas of decaying culture and everything having gone to pot had written a poem about how an orchard in Hull that used to be so great is now full of stained mattresses, old carpets, rubble, beer cans and suicidal drunks. I happened to be writing the review from my back bedroom which overlooks the very same orchard. There are no drunks, no mattresses; only apple trees and garden birds. I couldn't resist pointing this out :biggrin:

This is brilliant. I want to read your review when it's published.

Meh, poor you. I wasn't able to get my fiance a gift for his birthday last year, as I was completely broke and felt really bad about it even though he doesn't really care. He couldn't get me one beforehand this year because of the interview crisis. So we went to Waterstone's on Sunday morning and I picked out one or two things. Gifts don't matter, but as you say, tokens help. I'm sure he'll make it up to you!

Yeah I know, woe is me lol. It sucks that you couldn't afford to get him a gift, I remember you mentioning it actually. :frown:

I'm sure you made the day special in other ways though!

Original post by Drogue

•

she doesn't have her ears pierced, has loads of necklaces and I've bought her a few bracelets recently, so jewellery is pretty much out;

•

we both think the other person needs to be there if buying clothes for them, so that's out;

•

we 're both on diets, so chocolates/cake is kept to a minimum;

•

she doesn't really have the same interest/love for alcoholic drinks or food that I have (though we do go for a special meal for each of our birthdays);

•

I don't know anything near enough about literature to get her something of that ilk; and

•

she likes durable presents rather than experiences, primarily.

So within the range of things I know about and can rely on to make good presents when carefully chosen, I've pretty much exhausted everything as far as Helen's concerned :frown:

Yeah the lack of understanding rather than remorse is what upset me I think. He was remorseful when he realised I was upset, but it's just that he genuinely couldn't understand why I was sad before I had to spell it out for him. We have been together 7 years so I thought he knew me a bit better with regards to that kind of thing, I guess I just got a bit of a shock due to that too.

DISCLAIMER: I love my boyfriend MASSIVELY and this whole thing has in no way affected our overall relationship :biggrin:

And now I will stop being self-indulgent and talking about something that happened over 4 months ago!

Reply 369

Craghyrax

Becca. I think making your expectations clearer is definitely a good idea. Sometimes people just aren't wired the same way as you and can't anticipate which things are particularly important or not really an issue.

Have to say I'm probably the one in the relationship more likely to forget a birthday, or not get a gift :o:

Dave's unusually good at that. He remembers and gets gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day, our anniversary of going out.

Original post by cinosia

/Hurrah for little girls and their equine dreams. Being poor and having equine dreams sucks.

My parents could only afford lessons for a year, and even then it meant I couldn't get good and practice or anything, and all the other girls had their own horses.

Reply 370

Craghyrax

As for being easy to buy for...
Dave and I sometimes spontaneously surprise eachother, but we also think its completely fine to request particular things for gifts that we really want. So this year I asked for Settlers of Catan :awesome:

I bet he regrets buying it now, because I beg him to play every time he has a spare minute :o:

Reply 371

apotoftea

I'm alone and single, do not mention Valentine's day :mad:

Reply 372

Piggsil

I don't do Valentine's Day so that's one less day to remember! Nor do we really have an anniversary so that's out too.

Am I the only one who has never, ever ridden a horse in their life? :redface:

Reply 373

The_Lonely_Goatherd

Original post by apotoftea

I'm alone and single, do not mention Valentine's day :mad:

Me too. Though I've teamed up with my best friend (who recently split with her boyfriend of 3.5 years :eek:

) to have a belated Valentine's Day celebration on the 20th. We're going out for dinner and then going to see Wicked :awesome:

You should do something similar. Party with your single friends :yep:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY

:awesome:

Edit: Becca - whilst I have been on a horse, I never had lessons :nah:

Too busy scraping away on the violin for that! :musicus:

Reply 374

Craghyrax

Original post by apotoftea

I'm alone and single, do not mention Valentine's day :mad:

I'm sorry! I do understand. I despised V day until very recently. All the girls at school always got attention at V day and I never did.

Original post by Becca

Am I the only one who has never, ever ridden a horse in their life? :redface:

I was just wondering what this thread would look like to an outsider :lol:

Just as well we were talking about it in the context of being too poor to ride...

Reply 375

apotoftea

Original post by Craghyrax

I'm sorry! I do understand. I despised V day until very recently. All the girls at school always got attention at V day and I never did.

Haha it's ok, just missing the company of being around someone. I apparently keep attracting nutters :frown:

Reply 376

sj27

Original post by Becca

I don't do Valentine's Day so that's one less day to remember! Nor do we really have an anniversary so that's out too.

Am I the only one who has never, ever ridden a horse in their life? :redface:

All this horsey talk...I too loved horses and we could never afford it. I went on exactly one ride as a child, as a special treat ... A few years after I started working, I finally went for proper lessons for a couple of years, and i am scrambling to find time to get back into it. I absolutely adore riding. But basically, I would guess that when I was your age, I had had that exactly one ride. Which is still one more than never, I suppose!

Reply 377

The Lyceum

Original post by Craghyrax

I bet he regrets buying it now, because I beg him to play every time he has a spare minute :o:

You are such a ledge Craghy that game is amazing. My girlfriend and I (indeed my entire family and I) often seem to get annoyed at my love of ridiculous board games, like the Discworld one or Dragonlance for example. I hate games like Monopoly and Cluedo but love Catan, Arkham Horror etc.

Speaking of board games I'm actually slowly designing my own, it's about lion prides. :biggrin:

The rule book will be like a novel.

I do like buying spontaneous gifts now and then, which reminds me that I need to go place an order sometime soon actually. :s-smilie:

Reply 378

cinosia

mmmm Catan. Love it but I suck at it. I always love the idea of longest road, much like I was obsessed with getting the stations in Monopoly. Then suddenly you turn around and some smartarse has won with dev cards.

Reply 379

Hylean

And I'm back.

I've also just sent off my application for my MA in Folkloristics/Ethnology. The professor of the department was certain I'd get in, so it's just a formality, but it's nice to have it done with. Also, didn't need to send off any papers or get any references, which was nice. :smile: