The Student Room Group

How to ease loneliness?

Basically, I feel so lonely right now, and it's awful. I have few friends, partly due to being in two long term relationships for a total of 9 years, during which I mainly socialised with the partners of my bf friends as couples. Lost contact after breaking up.

I had friends at uni while I did my degree, but I went a long way to uni, and it's so hard to keep in contact apart from texting, phoning and meeting up every few months or more.

I'm living in the town I grew up in, but all the friends and acquaintances I had now mainly are married with children, and I have little in common with them. I think part of the problem is that I'm out of work at the moment, so don't even have that interaction.

I spend my days reading and looking for work, and that's about it. I live with two flatmates who I go out with occasionally but they have very demanding jobs so I don't see them much. I literally see my niece once a week, my sister once a week and my mum maybe once a fortnight.

I'm slowly going insane! I'm sociable and friendly, but don't know how to go about finding friends and a life. I used to have such a good social life at uni.

I don't want to be like 'poor me', I just need some practical tips on how I can change this and make friends and get a life before I end up depressed. I literally didn't speak to a soul yesterday.

I feel like I'm only existing, when I want to be really living. :confused:
Reply 1
:frown:

I guess the most important thing for you to do is to find employment, and then the rest should follow.

After that just get yourself out there!
Reply 2
Original post by scriggy
:frown:

I guess the most important thing for you to do is to find employment, and then the rest should follow.

After that just get yourself out there!


Finding work is my number one priority, but it seems like I'm getting nowhere even though I've got a good degree from a good uni.

I've looked at joining some fitness classes etc, but everything costs so much money, which I don't have at the moment.

It's so hard! I can feel myself getting depressed a little more every day, which will have the opposite effect of helping to get a job and social life.

Maybe I should try volunteering for a while and see how that goes. Thanks for your reply :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Finding work is my number one priority, but it seems like I'm getting nowhere even though I've got a good degree from a good uni.

I've looked at joining some fitness classes etc, but everything costs so much money, which I don't have at the moment.

It's so hard! I can feel myself getting depressed a little more every day, which will have the opposite effect of helping to get a job and social life.

Maybe I should try volunteering for a while and see how that goes. Thanks for your reply :smile:


Volunteering's great! It costs nothing, it's a good deed and it involves lots of interaction. I'm a museum volunteer in my spare time and I love it! :smile:

You sound like a lovely person! Sorry to hear about your feelings of loneliness. :frown: Good luck! x
Reply 4
Original post by pipster93
Volunteering's great! It costs nothing, it's a good deed and it involves lots of interaction. I'm a museum volunteer in my spare time and I love it! :smile:

You sound like a lovely person! Sorry to hear about your feelings of loneliness. :frown: Good luck! x


Thanks. I'm trying to stay upbeat.

How did you go about being a volunteer in a museum if you don't mind me asking? There's a lovely museum just down the road from me that I go in quite a lot.

I've got qualifications in childcare and lots of experience with children so I'm looking at maybe becoming a brownie leader. I've never volunteered before though, except at uni when we had our own volunteer service on campus, so don't really know how to get up and running, who to contact etc

Any advice would be much appreciated :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks. I'm trying to stay upbeat.

How did you go about being a volunteer in a museum if you don't mind me asking? There's a lovely museum just down the road from me that I go in quite a lot.

I've got qualifications in childcare and lots of experience with children so I'm looking at maybe becoming a brownie leader. I've never volunteered before though, except at uni when we had our own volunteer service on campus, so don't really know how to get up and running, who to contact etc

Any advice would be much appreciated :smile:


I'd never volunteered before I began in the museums!! I went on the website, found an email and sent a message enquiring. Because I come from an area where there are 5/6 museums all in close proximity, I had to apply to be a general museum volunteer! Then they interviewed me and trained me up... They sent monthly emails keeping me updated on upcoming events and things.

I'd recommend you ask whoever is on reception, or if the museum has a website, find an email and contact them. Ask to speak to the education administrator as I think they are the ones in charge of guides! :smile: x

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