FINALLY got my Fran Lebowitz Reader ( an undisputed advantage of living in Eastern Europe - postal services can eat your nerves in no time when it comes to getting a book from the States)
An excerpt from her Tips for Teens:
Wearing dark glasses at the breakfast table is socially acceptable only if you are legally blind or partaking of your morning meal out of doors during a total eclipse of the sun.
Should your political opinions be at extreme variance with those of your parents, keep in mind that while it is indeed your constitutional right to express these sentiments verbally, it is unseemly to do so with your mouth full–particularly when it is full of the oppressor's standing rib roast.
Try to derive some comfort from the knowledge that if your guidance counselor were working up to his potential, he wouldn't still be in high school.
Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
Avoid the use of drugs whenever possible. For while they may, at this juncture, provide a pleasant diversion, they are, on the whole, not the sort of thing that will in later years (should you have later years) be of much use in the acquisition of richly rewarding tax shelters and beachfront property.
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Currently reading:
James Baldwin - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Hanif Kureishi - The Buddha of Suburbia
and D.H.Lawrence's 'The Rainbow' which should be a priority since I've got only a few more days to finish it