The Student Room Group

Failed entire life :(

..
(edited 11 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Sorry to hear that, its your life you should do exactly what you want to do, If you continue qualifying yourself to do a job ull despise. You should be frank with your parents and tell them that your really not happy doing what your doing and tell them that you want to study economics and politics, Nothing should be more important to them than your happiness. Its not to late to do that. Your only 20 and youve got plenty of time. And your scentific qualifications so far will compliment economics as sciences do help develop skills in social sciences.
Reply 2
Original post by oomzee
before i start i need people to know; My mum is a surgeon; dad and brother are city traders and many members of my indirect family went to LSE/ Yale/ Oxford etc...

now me,
I'm 20
studied a BTEC in applied sciences
am now doing a foundation year in aerospace engineering at kingston uni london
and i hate it

everyone looks down on me like a failure and make me feel like **** even though they aren't really saying it. I wanted to study economics/ politics, but my family insisted on me becoming an engineer.

i feel as though there is nothing going for me anymore, i want to switch course, but i think it may be too late, even if i do another foundation year in economics/ i'll be 21 when i finish that, then 24 when i finish undergrad.
...now i think this is okay but my family would just be dissapointed.

but i have no idea what to do from here, either i get into debt to learn something i wont get a good grade in, or i face 4 more years of torment. :frown:

can anyone please help or advise me on anything i can do?

thanks for reading x


Even if they/you feel like you have failed, before I move on with my answer I would like to know why you named this thread "failed enitre life"
Your problem was allowing yourself to be forced into taking a course you never wanted to study. Do what you want, don't let your parents live through you. The two options you give at the end there are worst case scenarios; I would transfer to another course - one that you want to do. Let no one get in your way, and enjoy yourself.

BTW, age isn't an issue at university. On the course I'm studying, there are three undergraduates in their late 20s and early 30s, and no one bats an eyelid.

Remember, you've got your whole life ahead of you. If you choose to finish your current course and risk getting a poor grade, you''ll be disappointed for the rest of your life. Sorry if I've come across all patronising here; just trying to be helpful :smile:
Original post by oomzee
before i start i need people to know; My mum is a surgeon; dad and brother are city traders and many members of my indirect family went to LSE/ Yale/ Oxford etc...

now me,
I'm 20
studied a BTEC in applied sciences
am now doing a foundation year in aerospace engineering at kingston uni london
and i hate it

everyone looks down on me like a failure and make me feel like **** even though they aren't really saying it. I wanted to study economics/ politics, but my family insisted on me becoming an engineer.

i feel as though there is nothing going for me anymore, i want to switch course, but i think it may be too late, even if i do another foundation year in economics/ i'll be 21 when i finish that, then 24 when i finish undergrad.
...now i think this is okay but my family would just be dissapointed.

but i have no idea what to do from here, either i get into debt to learn something i wont get a good grade in, or i face 4 more years of torment. :frown:

can anyone please help or advise me on anything i can do?

thanks for reading x


if you want to switch course then switch course, soon. What are you gonna do after you graduate with a degree in engineering, a subject you hate? Go into a 40 or 50 year career in a field you hate, to please your ****ing family?

Also, graduating at 24 is no big deal. I graduated at 23 and thought nothing of it. I knew someone who was 24 when he started university. There were people on my course in their 40's. You should just decide what's gonna make you happy and make it happen, you're a grown up, it's your life.
(edited 12 years ago)
Awww bless, dont say that! You have SOOOO not 'failed entire life',
i feel like a failure at times aswell, i guess when things dont go our way thats how we feel :frown:

if you really dont like the degree that your doing, then you can always drop out i guess,
A BTEC in applied sciences can open other doors for you,
If you want to study economics/politics then go for it, trust me if you ask around
there will be some way in which you'll be able to study them.
Remember its about what YOU want, its YOUR life, but you got to think about the job
prospects after gaining the degree.

What is it exactly that you want to do with an economics/politics degree?
My cousin has a politics degree and shes done nothing with it, becuase she still works at a bank :smile:

The best thing to do is talk to your parents and family,
you have to tell them that your not enjoying it,
Theyre your family, they will understand, and may reccomend something else.

Sorry i've not been much help!

Hope everything goes well :smile:
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 6
I think you know- follow your dream- you're not a child and your family should be proud of you no matter what. I'll be 29 when I graduate but at least I didn't waste money persuing a degree course I wasn't interested in just to live up to people's expectations of me. Sure my parents complained when I didn't continue to study like they wanted me to, but now they repsect me more than ever for doing things in life the way I want to do them.
But it's not the end of the world! Don't loose sight of all the good things you have going on in your life! Apply for the course you want to do! Good luck :smile:
Original post by Seasick Steve
Your problem was allowing yourself to be forced into taking a course you never wanted to study. Do what you want, don't let your parents live through you. The two options you give at the end there are worst case scenarios; I would transfer to another course - one that you want to do. Let no one get in your way, and enjoy yourself.

BTW, age isn't an issue at university. On the course I'm studying, there are three undergraduates in their late 20s and early 30s, and no one bats an eyelid.

Remember, you've got your whole life ahead of you. If you choose to finish your current course and risk getting a poor grade, you''ll be disappointed for the rest of your life. Sorry if I've come across all patronising here; just trying to be helpful :smile:


I agree with this person completely!
Particularly with the bolded point, I know someone on my course who is 32, one who is 36 and another who is almost 40!
Reply 8
Original post by Spairos
Even if they/you feel like you have failed, before I move on with my answer I would like to know why you named this thread "failed enitre life"


because that's how they make me feel. it's impossible to describe, but i know that they are dissapointed in the setbacks i have had in my life/ not being enthusiastic about engineering.

if ever we are at a dinner party or anywhere else, people talk to my brother and speak of his accomplishments, my mums and also my dads accomplishments, and nobody ever seems to care what i am studying or what i am doing... I am merely preparing to study in their eyes.
Reply 9
Original post by oomzee
before i start i need people to know; My mum is a surgeon; dad and brother are city traders and many members of my indirect family went to LSE/ Yale/ Oxford etc...

now me,
I'm 20
studied a BTEC in applied sciences
am now doing a foundation year in aerospace engineering at kingston uni london
and i hate it

everyone looks down on me like a failure and make me feel like **** even though they aren't really saying it. I wanted to study economics/ politics, but my family insisted on me becoming an engineer.

i feel as though there is nothing going for me anymore, i want to switch course, but i think it may be too late, even if i do another foundation year in economics/ i'll be 21 when i finish that, then 24 when i finish undergrad.
...now i think this is okay but my family would just be dissapointed.

but i have no idea what to do from here, either i get into debt to learn something i wont get a good grade in, or i face 4 more years of torment. :frown:

can anyone please help or advise me on anything i can do?

thanks for reading x


Clearly you don't want to be an engineer, don't let your family dictate your life.
It seems like they've gotten you, if you still want to try, then try to go into Economics, though it would be more costly and longer, at least u'll do something you enjoy :smile:
Stop comparing yourself to the others, because there will always be a smarter, more qualified person. Might be your family or other people. You have to face the fact that you will never be the best. Embrace this concept and and do what you love, because that's the only way you can actually be happy. You are never a failure to others until you start to believe you are a failure yourself.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 11
Original post by minimarshmallow
I agree with this person completely!
Particularly with the bolded point, I know someone on my course who is 32, one who is 36 and another who is almost 40!


thanks for the reply :smile:

it's different in my family, everyone has such high expectations for eachother, my brother completed his Masters in economics at the LSE at age 23. the prblem i ahve is that people always compare me to him, and its such a blow to my morale, i honestly cannot describe the depression i go through at times.
Reply 12
Original post by SnoochToTheBooch
Go into a 40 or 50 year career in a field you hate, to please your ****ing family?


You actually have a point, but you don't need to be so aggressive.
Reply 13
Original post by oomzee
because that's how they make me feel. it's impossible to describe, but i know that they are dissapointed in the setbacks i have had in my life/ not being enthusiastic about engineering.

if ever we are at a dinner party or anywhere else, people talk to my brother and speak of his accomplishments, my mums and also my dads accomplishments, and nobody ever seems to care what i am studying or what i am doing... I am merely preparing to study in their eyes.


First: How do you know that they are dissapointed about you? You can't make guesses.
Secondly: Do what YOU want to do, NOT what your family wants you to do
Last but not least: Really do you consider yourself a failed person?
Others don't have enough to eat, have medical problems and don't even manage to enter a uni and you considered yourself as a failed person (and you felt into depression) because your brother has bigger accomplishments than yours? More than one people can be good but only one comes first, that doesnt mean that the rest have failed
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 14
Original post by Iron Lady
You actually have a point, but you don't need to be so aggressive.


i agree with her tbh, I've always let my family dictate my life, but i know this is a decision for me to make
24 is still really young to graduate! Think about it, the choice you're making now will affect what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. If you look at it like that it's definitely worth switching courses as quickly as possible, even if it means having to do a foundation year. You'll be so much happier in the long run. It's your life, so make sure no one else is living it for you :smile:
Reply 16
Original post by ForgettingWhatsername
24 is still really young to graduate! Think about it, the choice you're making now will affect what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. If you look at it like that it's definitely worth switching courses as quickly as possible, even if it means having to do a foundation year. You'll be so much happier in the long run. It's your life, so make sure no one else is living it for you :smile:


thank you so much :smile: x
Reply 17
Original post by AverageExcellence
Sorry to hear that, its your life you should do exactly what you want to do, If you continue qualifying yourself to do a job ull despise. You should be frank with your parents and tell them that your really not happy doing what your doing and tell them that you want to study economics and politics, Nothing should be more important to them than your happiness. Its not to late to do that. Your only 20 and youve got plenty of time. And your scentific qualifications so far will compliment economics as sciences do help develop skills in social sciences.


:smile: x
Reply 18
Original post by Spairos
First: How do you know that they are dissapointed about you? You can't make guesses.
Secondly: Do what YOU want to do, NOT what your family wants you to do
Last but not least: Really do you consider yourself a failed person?
Others don't have enough to eat, have medical problems and don't even manage to enter a uni and you considered yourself as a failed person (and you felt into depression) because your brother has bigger accomplishments than yours? More than one people can be good but only one comes first, that doesnt mean that the rest have failed


thanks for that, self pity is obviously not going to get me anywhere. x
Reply 19
Original post by oomzee
i agree with her tbh, I've always let my family dictate my life, but i know this is a decision for me to make


And since you can clearly see that this choice had led you into depression do you still think that it's the right choice for the remaining of your future?

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending