18 pregnant and want to go UNI!

Easiest part of the career being the one where you receive the tiniest salary and have the lowest education and training, and fewest or no assets to your name, yes? I can't see the majority of teenage reproduction as anything but foolish. My perspective: the unfortunate sibling of a teenage breeder whose age, immaturity, lack of experience or finance HAD DEFINITELY had a negative impact on the multiple children.

you boyfriend was a solicitor with a good salary and owned a house...good for him! what about you? or are you one of those women who live off their partner's money? because it seems so.

and yes, i can list many things you are missing out on. you can't dedicate 100% to your studies, you can't just make decisions in your life without thinking how this will affect your child, you have much more responsibilities than the normal 22-year-old, you can't just sleep or study all day or just go out without arranging for her to stay with someone, you can't socialise as much, you can't travel as much, you can't do an exchange programme and the list is just beginning.

and as for my parents' parenting skills, i'm sure they are better than your parents' parenting skills since they have raise a dedicated girl who wants to be financially independent and is studying very hard to be a lawyer in a top tier university while enjoying her life with responsibility, and not a 22-year-old single mum who does distance learning and rely on the baby's father money.

My advice is to have an abortion. You know it makes sense.

The only way I can see you going to uni is if you have an abortion, which despite the fact most Tsrians support abortion they probably wouldn't in a real-life case like this.

This.

@above, it's nowhere near a child yet. "due mid december". If people are offended by the suggestion of a possible, and obvious, solution, they shouldn't ask for advice.

So what's the difference between a teenager with a kid, who'll have prospects of getting a good job in the future, with a 30 year old with a kid, working at minimum wage part time, and has very little prospects of getting a good job in the future?

In her opinion it could be that it is her child. People need to realize that just because they believe getting into uni a couple of years late warrants an abortion it doesn't mean other people do. And how on earth can you say "get an abortion" as if you think she didn't know the possibility of abortion existed if she wanted one.

There is no appropriate age, you will never be fully ready to have children.

However, there is an appropriate attitude. I suggest you grow up and change yours if you ever hope to bring up a child properly.

None of you people seem to think this woman isn't insulted by the fact your suggesting she kills her own child?

Yes, there is an appropriate age. An eighteen year old, the majority of the time, will not make a good mother. I know there are exceptions but they are few and far between. A 30 year old with a stable job will be much more prepared to raise a child than an 18 year old who isn't even at university.

Are you yourself a young parent?

The biggest thing that pisses me off is when people presume that just because you have a child around the age of 18, then that child is having a crappy life. Age does not mean anything when it comes to quality of life.

Also, regarding age, lets say I'm female and I'm thinking of giving birth. I can either do it at 18, or I can wait till i'm 22 to finish my law degree. Then I'd have to wait a year to do the BPTC, and another year to get through the pupillage (let's say criminal, as it's lowest paid). So I'm 24, but as I'm not entitled to maternity pay due to being self employed, i'll need to work and save up abit. Let's not forget to get a mortgage, car etc. 15 years later, just became QC and I'm 39 now. Perfect time to have a child. Which I now have more difficulty to become pregnant, and more risks associated with pregnancy. Or I could have had a child at 18, during the easiest part of my career, who would now be heading off to University themselves.

What is the difference:
* Older and therefore more experience of life in general. The ridiculous "some 13 year olds act more mature than 30 year olds" line is irrelevant - even forgetting comparisons to other people, that same 13 year old would be more mature and capable if they had waited until they were 30.Having a child forces you to mature faster
* Far easier to relate to and receive help from peers as the average age of having a first child is ~29. It'd be a lot easier if our 'peers' didn't look down on us just because we are young
* A 30 year old with a job has at least some level of income and most likely has some form of long-term accommodation beyond the parents' basement. An infant needs immediate financial support and cannot live off "prospects of getting a good job in the future." Student finance + child tax credits + housing benefit + childcare vouchers
* Setting a responsible example to the child to actually have a childhood themselves before reproducing. That's an issue with general parenting, not specific to the age you have children at
* The divorce and separation percentage is skyhigh for the under 25s and gradually decreases relative to age, making the chance of the parents still being together far more likely. Our society has changed so it has now become more acceptable to leave your partner, as opposed to be shunned upon for doing so
* Growth is completed in a 30 year old, which it is not in younger teenagers, which can lead to complications. Over 30's start to lead to more complications, such as difficulty conceiving and higher chances of genetic disorders. A 20 year old is 'ripe' for birth.
* A 30 year old is not a child. A teenager under 18 is.

What is the similarity:
* There is nothing inherently "prospective" about a teenager VS a 30 year old. Both have opportunities.

I know you've made your bed and had to lie in it, so of course I understand your desperate grasping for arguments supporting teen pregnancy. But the fact of the matter is, 9/10 the only ones who don't see it as a disadvantage are those who either messed up and got (/someone) pregnant OR their own parents did. There is no argument on this planet that is going to convince the majority of the population that teenage reproduction in this day and age is a grand idea. Because it simply isn't.

This is not a commentary on your own parenting or lack thereof, depending on the situation. It is a general outlook. After witnessing the effects of reckless teenage breeding - and having witnessed no situation where, even if the parents are doing a good job, they wouldn't have been better off waiting a few years - I shan't be convinced otherwise.

Your clueless. I don't blame you for that, because people who don't have children have no idea what its like.

They pee, they poop, they eat, they sleep. You comfort their cries, you change their diapers, you put food in their mouths.

There isn't an appropriate age for that. Maturity does come into play, obviously when they get older and they start to learn by example.

Age is a number.

You forget if bringing up a child is too much to handle you could easily give the child up for adoption.

Children under the age of 16 are banned from purchasing even easy-to-care-for pets. Make of that what you will.

don't be silly, i can't believe you are actually defending the idea of having a child when you're 18! you will miss so many important life experiences and you won't be able to dedicate 100% IN THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR CAREER, which is when you're around 18 doing your undergraduate degree.

and why do you want to have a child now so bad? just wait until you have a stabilised career and marriage, and is financially and emotionally prepared to raise a child.

i'm a law student too and i would never be able to study as hard as i do if i had a child. and it's not just about education, think about all the opportunities you could miss. you could've studied abroad, enjoyed full the whole university experience, socialised much more. of course you're gonna say "but i do", but you know, and I know and we all know it is not the same. you always have to arrange for your child to stay with someone else, and you will always be wondering if they are okay. not to mention the sleepless nights when you will have exams the next morning.

anyway, i think you are bringing up this arguments more for yourself than for me, but there is nothing you can say to me that is going to change my mind that having a baby at the age of 18 is a stupid idea. the baby would be better off being brought up by a stable couple financially and emotionally prepared to raise them. full stop.

stop trying to convince yourself of anything. you've done s.h.i.t, now deal with it.