For the last three years, I've been working in Ibiza every summer. Anyone that has been there even for a couple of days can tell you the drug culture is massive, so being out there for 3 months at a time means a lot of experience can be had with drugs if that's what you're interested in. Prior to my first season, I was in a relationship for three years with a guy who had a 'been there, done that' attitude to almost all drugs (cocaine, ecstasy, MDMA, LSD) but he still smoked weed everyday, and I joined him. We split up and after three years of smoking daily, I realised I was smoking weed more out a habit and didn't actually touch it again until this summer. Even then, I found it had little effect, made me sleepy and slow more than anything else, and remembered how much I'd disliked it.
I have also found this to be the case with cocaine. I tried it for the first time my first season in Ibiza and again, found it to have almost no effect. I don't know whether I was expecting it to turn me into some sort of motor mouth, but after half a gram I gave up taking any more because it was hurting my nose and my friend was acting extremely erratic and talkative so I guessed it just wasn't working for me. The next time I tried it was this summer, with a Liverpudlian I met in Space. He had so much cocaine in his hotel that I just kept doing line after line after line. Over three hours I must have taken about 1.5 grams of the stuff, and I was sitting there in silence, whilst the guy just kept talking and talking and I was actually falling asleep from listening to him. The only side effect I noticed was huge pupils and my heartbeat had increased. I don't know whether it was because I've only had bad coke or what, but I don't think I'll bother with it again, seems almost pointless!
The other drugs I have tried - ecstasy, MDMA, ketamine, and LSD - have all worked fine the majority of the time. Ecstasy can sometimes be a little hit and miss, I've had a really good time on a party boat with just one pill, and I've had times where I've done three of the same pills and it's done absolutely nothing. There was one time this summer and I took a pill about half an hour before I went to the club. As we were walking into the venue I turned to my friend only to see he had turned yellow and had strange patterns all over his skin. I went off on my own as soon as we got inside and I walked round the club all night, touching people on the head whilst saying 'oooohhh' and lighting up cigarettes and burning anyone in close proximity. I got dragged outside by a bouncer for taking my shoes off inside the main room and then somehow ended up in the VIP area with Eric Prydz before getting thrown out of there because I again took my shoes off. Ended the night on a bit of a low note - I saw some women were wearing bikinis and decided I wanted to do the same, so I took off my shorts and top before realizing I didn't have a bra on and I was practically naked. Cue lots of camera flashes and me just posing in my drugged-up state, before being thrown outside for the last time that night, still naked. I am almost certain that I had a bad pill, because I've heard they can have a lot of other things mixed into it, and I've never had a reaction like that from one pill. I woke up the next day relatively okay, but throughout the day felt progressively worse. I was lying on the beach with my friend and I actually turned to her and told her I didn't think I was going to survive. I was finding it really hard to breathe and every time I did my chest felt like it was going to collapse. I was coming down for about three days, and the experience was so horrible that I haven't touched any sort of drug since it happened about, three weeks ago.
I haven't had any bad experiences on any of the other drugs, MDMA has always been glorious when I've done it, life literally seems perfect. I find I do have to do more and more each time though in order to feel something. I always take it in crystal form, once snorted it and it was brutal, and the drip was vile, much worse than that with cocaine. I did LSD with my best friend on the beach and I spent an hour swimming on the sand thinking I was in the sea. I took ketamine once thinking it was cocaine, and I didn't take that much, so I just felt a little floaty and dreamy, like I wasn't really living. The next day though I had horrendous paranoia, I was in my apartment three stories up and all I could see behind my blind was the shadows of two men talking and pointing at me through the window. I knew it wasn't real but at the same time I couldn't stop myself from seeing it.
If you'd asked me three weeks ago about my opinions and experiences with drugs, I would have almost encouraged anyone who wants to try them to do so and I would have spoken about my experiences a lot more positively than I would now. After my 'bad pill', I've realised how much I depend on drugs when I go out, which is quite scary when you think about it. I've also met a lot of people over the last three years, especially in Ibiza who started off as casual drug users like myself and have severely declined, a couple have even died from these drug habits. I probably won't stay clear of them forever, but for the time being I'd rather not take them. It's the first time I've ever sat down and thought about it, and I found it quite scary how I've normalized my drug taking.