idk, I don't really feel like I am coping is the thing, I still have this awful feeling inside all the time, it's painful even, but it can't be stopped, im alone, I feel like there is no reason, no meaning to anything right now.
I make mistakes almost constantly, I think my life is a mistake in fact, I think that is the best way I can make sense of it, the reason I feel the way I do is maybe because I am not meant to be.
I also feel like I need to find something, but what I am not sure, I also don't know where to look, but maybe I should go places, look and if not find then idk just drink or something till I finally just give up on it all.
You're most definitely not alone, we're all here for you. Please remember that
Like I said, people make mistakes so no need to be hard on yourself.
This. My friend just texted asking how I am, I replied saying I was alright. I'm not. But it's easier to say that then to get into an entire conversation about how I'm not, which is what would happen if I was honest and said I wasn't. I'd rather just have a normal conversation.
Like Laut said, it definitely sounds like you need some support. If you really can't bear WAMHS, could you go back to your GP and see if they would be willing to treat you? I know some GPs are happy to but others prefer to refer to MH services but it might be worth doing, particularly if you get on well with your GP. I don't think you should give up trying just yet, just because MH services were no good for you, it doesn't mean there's no help out there
I saw my GP for an emergency appt. yesterday. She is really nice, but I don't think she knows what to do. She is writing me a 2 medical notes for exams and universities and stuff. I am seeing her in two weeks for a double appt. 2weeks seems like such a long time, not sure how to fill it now I'm not studying. She is going to look into meds for me that isn't Prozac because I did not get along well with it. She said it would be good just to come along every few weeks and talk. So I'm going to do that.
I also have low self-esteem but I work in a charity shop and it's quite easy work and all the people there are so nice, so I think it's worth a try if you really want to go for it . I also hope everything else works out for you
Thanks, I just get so nervous around people when I'm ill....I'm a million times better on the shyness front than I have ever been, but it’s still hard. I’ll look into it when I’m feeling less rough. there's a local library that wants someone to help out. I love books and I'm good with children, but the "being able to speak with members of the public" bit worries me...
Ps sorry that replying took a long time/and it’s really short. I appreciate the response. I’m just so tired it has taken me all day to get it together to response, and my friends are sending me messages that I don’t know how to respond to. They’re being kind and I am so lucky to have them but they don’t really get it and replying takes effort. PPS is there any way to change my username on here, it has come to my attention that my creepy relative is stalking me online and I think here might be a weak link.
I don't know about PALs, it’s been over a year so I think it’s a bit late to complain. I'll look into it though, thank. ^_^
PPS is there any way to change my username on here, it has come to my attention that my creepy relative is stalking me online and I think here might be a weak link.
I wish I was, but I can't be, if I were I wouldn't be feeling the way I do, I keep messing things up as well, that's not what strong people do
You wouldn't say the same about others here, yet we often feel the same way. Likewise, if you had a physical illness, you wouldn't blame yourself if you had a fever for instance, so don't blame yourself for a mental illness.
We all make mistakes, it is how we deal with them that counts. Being strong is being able to carry on past those mistakes, helping people, and so on, which you do do.
Listen to VV as well, she said it better than I did
*****
I hate getting up at this time, it should be bed time! But its bowling time I guess.
I feel hopeless right now. I have a huge list of things left on my to do list, work stress and generally feeling rubbish. Everything seems like such a massive effort. When will this get better I wonder?
I am deeply upset at laut's disregard for the efforts I put into our friendship. Otherwise, I'm doing ok.
Tbh I watched that video and it's really very very creepy so laut should have the choice to refuse to watch it if she doesn't want to and you'll have to respect that.
Tbh I watched that video and it's really very very creepy so laut should have the choice to refuse to watch it if she doesn't want to and you'll have to respect that.