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TSR Iraqi Society

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Reply 940
Original post by Dirac Delta Function
Yes, over the phone they asked. I told them "When Saddam dies".

This was in the 80's.

I amost got my family horribly killed :colondollar:


They haven't asked since.


LOL not good. At least they don't ask anymore. Things are now even more chaotic. I remember when I was younger, "When Saddam dies" used to be my parents and the community's response. Hehe years later and STILL no one wants to go back.

I hate it that they ask. They're making me decide between them and my future. It's almost inconsiderate; do they really think that it's that easy to start your life all over again? The thing that scares me is I don't know if I'll ever be ready to go back, there is nothing there that will make me want to stay (besides my immediate family and ziyarat).
Original post by neuro101
LOL not good. At least they don't ask anymore. Things are now even more chaotic. I remember when I was younger, "When Saddam dies" used to be my parents and the community's response. Hehe years later and STILL no one wants to go back.

I hate it that they ask. They're making me decide between them and my future. It's almost inconsiderate; do they really think that it's that easy to start your life all over again? The thing that scares me is I don't know if I'll ever be ready to go back, there is nothing there that will make me want to stay (besides my immediate family and ziyarat).


Maybe they're just making conversation?

This is not something you need to worry about right now - you have years of schooling and career development ahead of you before the question needs to be taken seriously.

Ziyarah means ziyarah, mu ya3ni tubqeen aisha ihnaak. And family are only tolerable in small doses.

Cross this jisr when you get to it.
Reply 942
Original post by Dirac Delta Function
Maybe they're just making conversation?

This is not something you need to worry about right now - you have years of schooling and career development ahead of you before the question needs to be taken seriously.

Ziyarah means ziyarah, mu ya3ni tubqeen aisha ihnaak. And family are only tolerable in small doses.

Cross this jisr when you get to it.


If they want to make conversation, they could just ask me about the weather, but I do try to be understanding, I really do. I don't think gharba is totally a bad thing...absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Ha you can only be with family for so long before they start tapping on your nerves, and my temper mashallah is awesome.

This is stressing me out more than necessary. My dad is worried that I'm getting too "old" and that I need to think about marriage...and what other better place than Iraq? :pinch: My dear father doesn't get it. Oh well, I'll deal with this when the time comes. Hopefully much much later than sooner.
Original post by neuro101
If they want to make conversation, they could just ask me about the weather, but I do try to be understanding, I really do. I don't think gharba is totally a bad thing...absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Ha you can only be with family for so long before they start tapping on your nerves, and my temper mashallah is awesome.

This is stressing me out more than necessary. My dad is worried that I'm getting too "old" and that I need to think about marriage...and what other better place than Iraq? :pinch: My dear father doesn't get it. Oh well, I'll deal with this when the time comes. Hopefully much much later than sooner.


I feel for you neuro, I really do.

You have to resist being pressured to return to Iraq or marrying someone from there. Aren't there any good prospects in your area?

I know of quite some Iraqi girls who are in their late 20s or early 30 and have not found anyone, so they sometimes give up and marry a non-Iraqi.

But you're far from that stage yet, you just need to hold your dad off until something good comes a long. And be pro-active in looking for a husband. No shame in it.
Reply 944
Original post by Dirac Delta Function
I feel for you neuro, I really do.

You have to resist being pressured to return to Iraq or marrying someone from there. Aren't there any good prospects in your area?

I know of quite some Iraqi girls who are in their late 20s or early 30 and have not found anyone, so they sometimes give up and marry a non-Iraqi.

But you're far from that stage yet, you just need to hold your dad off until something good comes a long. And be pro-active in looking for a husband. No shame in it.


There is no way I'm budging, I respect my father, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. The problem is slightly mine, I've actually had a lot of proposals, but they were all a bunch of douches. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and I couldn't see myself with these guys. People think I'm being stuck up and picky, but I just think I have high standards. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm not looking for prince charming or mr. right, but something in between would be nice.

I don't want to be proactive :colondollar: But I'm genuinely not interested in marriage. Especially at this point of my life. I have a lot of good things going on for me, and I don't want to ruin it. I like the single life : )
Original post by neuro101
There is no way I'm budging, I respect my father, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. The problem is slightly mine, I've actually had a lot of proposals, but they were all a bunch of douches. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and I couldn't see myself with these guys. People think I'm being stuck up and picky, but I just think I have high standards. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm not looking for prince charming or mr. right, but something in between would be nice.

I don't want to be proactive :colondollar: But I'm genuinely not interested in marriage. Especially at this point of my life. I have a lot of good things going on for me, and I don't want to ruin it. I like the single life : )


Sounds like you're doing the right thing.
Original post by neuro101
There is no way I'm budging, I respect my father, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. The problem is slightly mine, I've actually had a lot of proposals, but they were all a bunch of douches. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and I couldn't see myself with these guys. People think I'm being stuck up and picky, but I just think I have high standards. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm not looking for prince charming or mr. right, but something in between would be nice.

I don't want to be proactive :colondollar: But I'm genuinely not interested in marriage. Especially at this point of my life. I have a lot of good things going on for me, and I don't want to ruin it. I like the single life : )


Sounds like you need to meet me. :hubba:

I'm joking, of course. But yeah, as Delta said, you are doing the right thing. You're going to be spending the rest of your life with this person so better make sure it's the perfect person.
Reply 947
Original post by neuro101
There is no way I'm budging, I respect my father, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. The problem is slightly mine, I've actually had a lot of proposals, but they were all a bunch of douches. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and I couldn't see myself with these guys. People think I'm being stuck up and picky, but I just think I have high standards. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm not looking for prince charming or mr. right, but something in between would be nice.

I don't want to be proactive :colondollar: But I'm genuinely not interested in marriage. Especially at this point of my life. I have a lot of good things going on for me, and I don't want to ruin it. I like the single life : )


This post was weird to read because you sound *exactly* like my sister. She's turned down a couple of fellers as well, to great dismay of my worried mother. Only difference is that unlike your dad, my mother will never let my sis marry an Iraqi from Iraq. Has to be European she says.
Not sure what I'm trying to say with this post really but good luck I guess, all will be good in the end.
Reply 948
Original post by Tzarchasm
Sounds like you need to meet me. :hubba:

I'm joking, of course. But yeah, as Delta said, you are doing the right thing. You're going to be spending the rest of your life with this person so better make sure it's the perfect person.


I'm too old for you ; )
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 949
Original post by mare?
This post was weird to read because you sound *exactly* like my sister. She's turned down a couple of fellers as well, to great dismay of my worried mother. Only difference is that unlike your dad, my mother will never let my sis marry an Iraqi from Iraq. Has to be European she says.
Not sure what I'm trying to say with this post really but good luck I guess, all will be good in the end.


Same with my mom, but well, American. She thinks there is a great gap between the cultural/education levels of Iraqi men in the west and back home...and she is right.

Many of the girls in my community have went to Iraq just to get married, and they come back very disappointed. There is a huge culture clash, can't expect them to have the same ideals and beliefs. Unfortunately, some of them have ended in divorce and I don't want to be another statistic. But thanks, good luck to your sis : )
Original post by neuro101
There is no way I'm budging, I respect my father, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. The problem is slightly mine, I've actually had a lot of proposals, but they were all a bunch of douches. Marriage is a life-long commitment, and I couldn't see myself with these guys. People think I'm being stuck up and picky, but I just think I have high standards. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm not looking for prince charming or mr. right, but something in between would be nice.

I don't want to be proactive :colondollar: But I'm genuinely not interested in marriage. Especially at this point of my life. I have a lot of good things going on for me, and I don't want to ruin it. I like the single life : )



well done for sticking to your guns and not just saying yes to the first guy (or to Tzarchasm) and ending up in a marriage you don't want....

maybe talk it through with your parents and try to get them to understand that you are not ready???
Original post by neuro101
Same with my mom, but well, American. She thinks there is a great gap between the cultural/education levels of Iraqi men in the west and back home...and she is right.

Many of the girls in my community have went to Iraq just to get married, and they come back very disappointed. There is a huge culture clash, can't expect them to have the same ideals and beliefs. Unfortunately, some of them have ended in divorce and I don't want to be another statistic. But thanks, good luck to your sis : )


I suppose I'm different cos I'm a guy....

but personally I don't mind if she is Iraqi or not.....as long as she isn't a "freshie" so to speak....and its all cool :biggrin:
Yumma, 3balee u guys would have given up and started revising by now.....

And as this marriage scenario sounds too repetitive. We don't want to be proactive, and then as soon as we near 30, we start becoming all fearful.
And as for the guys, same goes for them.
The fault is our traditions partly, not to mention the fact that women see marriage as enslavement and guys see marriage as a love story.

We all deny part of the inevitable truth, is that our parents are going to undoubtedly interfer, our emotions are not going to be all lovey dovey, but lukewarm, and that in the end, we're just going to be thankful we're not the bachelor/bachelorette that everyone pities at parties.

yeah...exams bring out my dark side.
Original post by infernalcradle
I suppose I'm different cos I'm a guy....

but personally I don't mind if she is Iraqi or not.....as long as she isn't a "freshie" so to speak....and its all cool :biggrin:


what is wrong with a freshie? Its not like she's going to demand you marry another 3 women.
Original post by scherezade
what is wrong with a freshie? Its not like she's going to demand you marry another 3 women.


haha, I don't want to marry another 3 women...1 is enough for me :biggrin:

its more that by its very definition, a freshie will be badly educated, have little/no grasp of english, have that backwards mindset many have, etc. etc.

I don't mind if she is from iraqi or not.....just not a freshie (although I suppose my parents would kill me if I went for one anyway)
Original post by infernalcradle
haha, I don't want to marry another 3 women...1 is enough for me :biggrin:

its more that by its very definition, a freshie will be badly educated, have little/no grasp of english, have that backwards mindset many have, etc. etc.

I don't mind if she is from iraqi or not.....just not a freshie (although I suppose my parents would kill me if I went for one anyway)


you're generalising, you'd be suprised by how educated freshie's are, it is in fact the other way around....freshie GUYs are poorly educated, overly traditional, and have that mindset, whereas freshie GIRLs have a push for education, are independent and modern. :biggrin:
*dries self with towel from just getting off the boat*
Original post by scherezade
you're generalising, you'd be suprised by how educated freshie's are, it is in fact the other way around....freshie GUYs are poorly educated, overly traditional, and have that mindset, whereas freshie GIRLs have a push for education, are independent and modern. :biggrin:
*dries self with towel from just getting off the boat*


if thats what the girl is like....she wouldn't be a freshie.....and unfortunately I do know a few girls who are "freshies"....so they do exist

but yes....agree that the guys are like that....
There was an Iraqi Iraqi girl on here a while back that I communicated with by PM. She was obviously educated and had a refreshingly down to Earth personality.

I wouldn't mind marriage with someone from lraq, but the impracticalities of it put me off.
Original post by infernalcradle
if thats what the girl is like....she wouldn't be a freshie.....and unfortunately I do know a few girls who are "freshies"....so they do exist

but yes....agree that the guys are like that....



I think you are using a different definition of "freshie" to her.
Original post by Dirac Delta Function
There was an Iraqi Iraqi girl on here a while back that I communicated with by PM. She was obviously educated and had a refreshingly down to Earth personality.

I wouldn't mind marriage with someone from lraq, but the impracticalities of it put me off.


how so?


Original post by Dirac Delta Function
I think you are using a different definition of "freshie" to her.


and yes, probably....:colondollar:

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