When does the honeymoon period... start? o.0
So I've been seeing this guy for two and a half months, officially been together for one of those and I feel like I'm still waiting for the honeymoon period to start. I've only had one relationship before and of course that was an intense first love type thing- at the beginning we could easily talk for 8 hours a day, we were desperate to know everything about each other, felt like my insides were exploding everytime we held hands, etc. This isn't like that at all, I'm not remotely infatuated. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy and I fancy the **** out of him- we have a nice time when we're together and great sex but it's all just... nice. There's no intensity. We text a few times a day but he doesn't seem all that fussed about talking to me when we're not together. I feel like I'm waiting for the honeymoon period to start. Is this normal? Is this how it goes once you're past the first love? I thought the start of a relationship was meant to be the super exciting part.
Scroll to see replies
"Normal" is different by everyone's definition. Not having that initial rush of excitement in any new relationship, even after your first, is definitely not normal by mine! And I'm thinking many will agree...
maybe your still in the getting to know each other phase...my friend was seeing her guy for about 3 months and then *bam* their honeymooon period started and now they literally live in each others pockets!
Its different for everyone
as long as your happy stop fretting
Its different for everyone
as long as your happy stop fretting 
Original post by caseyhayes
"Normal" is different by everyone's definition. Not having that initial rush of excitement in any new relationship, even after your first, is definitely not normal by mine! And I'm thinking many will agree...
I agree, but I wouldn't write off the relationship just because the spark isn't instant. It can take a while to develop those feelings.
When I first met my boyfriend I wasn't even sure if I liked him, and I was going to pick another guy over him. After a couple of dates I'd changed my mind. The most intense point in our 'honeymoon period' was about 3 months after we got together - I remember when it was because I went to see family abroad around that time and I was missing him like crazy and my phone wouldn't work! That was about a year ago now. Still crazy about him.
For me, the intensely exciting bit is the tense part leading up to sex, and then a bit after that, and then the feelings broaden out.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
Original post by Anonymous
So I've been seeing this guy for two and a half months, officially been together for one of those and I feel like I'm still waiting for the honeymoon period to start. I've only had one relationship before and of course that was an intense first love type thing- at the beginning we could easily talk for 8 hours a day, we were desperate to know everything about each other, felt like my insides were exploding everytime we held hands, etc. This isn't like that at all, I'm not remotely infatuated. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy and I fancy the **** out of him- we have a nice time when we're together and great sex but it's all just... nice. There's no intensity. We text a few times a day but he doesn't seem all that fussed about talking to me when we're not together. I feel like I'm waiting for the honeymoon period to start. Is this normal? Is this how it goes once you're past the first love? I thought the start of a relationship was meant to be the super exciting part.
I felt the same in my last relationship. There was no magical period of super gushy wushy goo feelings.
I just felt the chemistry, that we got on and yes, the sex was pretty good.
I ended up falling in love with her somehow (it was only a relationship about the length of yours) which made the break-up (her decision) rough on me.
Every relationship is different OP, if you;re happy as things are then so be it, just remember, teenage relationships are different from adult ones and not everyone in every relationship is going to follow some set Hollywood formula.
Just enjoy what you got.
Original post by The_Jammy_Witch
For me, the intensely exciting bit is the tense part leading up to sex, and then a bit after that, and then the feelings broaden out.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
I'm not bored at all, he's really fun to hang out with. And it's not that I'm not into him- I think he's awesome- I'm just not infatuated. Mebbes it's just more of a slow burner, I don't really know.
Well, does it matter?
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
Original post by Calpurnia
Well, does it matter?
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
what happens when the excitement stops?
Original post by Anonymous
what happens when the excitement stops?
You have choices:
- Try to force some new "excitement" into your life by breaking up with the person, or just fighting with them; this will generally end in breaking up anyway once they get bored of fighting.
Or
- Realise that having a partner for the purpose of "excitement" is a ridiculous impossibility, then appreciate them for the qualities that you enjoy (kindness, honesty, loyalty, trust etc etc) and develop a stronger relationship based on your mutual understanding that you can just enjoy having a nice, effortless relationship where both parties care greatly for each other.
If you need excitement from a partner, you might as well just live a life of "wild" one-night stands...
Original post by Calpurnia
Well, does it matter?
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
If he's nice and you like him, perhaps you can imagine yourselves together in the future? Marriage? Kids?
If you can, perhaps you should be grateful that you've found someone it's easy to be with and who isn't (apparently) treating you like crap
If your boyfriend's biggest problem is that you don't explode in your pants with excitement when you hold hands, I'd say you've got it pretty good.
In my opinion, people should stop looking for so much excitement in a relationship. Eventually the excitement WILL stop, or it'll end in tears.
This makes sense, thanks
I could see him being a wonderful husband (my mum's response when she met him- "I wish you'd met him when you were 25 so you could get married and have beautiful babies!" xD) but it's a little early to be thinking of that. I do see your point though- our relationship is nice and it makes me happy, so there's no point comparing it to anything else.
Original post by The_Jammy_Witch
For me, the intensely exciting bit is the tense part leading up to sex, and then a bit after that, and then the feelings broaden out.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
Are you sure you're not just bored because there's no drama or anything, and he doesn't need you to survive? You don't sound that into him at all. I feel a bit bad for the guy tbh.
Haha, not like that's anything to do with the honeymoon phase though haha. But yeah, sexual tension is the best kinda tension. Anticipation really builds the mood; some people rush and don't get as much excitement out of the moment. Taking your time makes it oh so gooooood
I think there are 2 phases; when you're getting to know each other and it's really exciting, and when you know each other and you just wanna spend every minute with each other. I live for that. Seriously - life would be worthless without the capability to love.
Original post by Calpurnia
You have choices:
- Try to force some new "excitement" into your life by breaking up with the person, or just fighting with them; this will generally end in breaking up anyway once they get bored of fighting.
Or
- Realise that having a partner for the purpose of "excitement" is a ridiculous impossibility, then appreciate them for the qualities that you enjoy (kindness, honesty, loyalty, trust etc etc) and develop a stronger relationship based on your mutual understanding that you can just enjoy having a nice, effortless relationship where both parties care greatly for each other.
If you need excitement from a partner, you might as well just live a life of "wild" one-night stands...
- Try to force some new "excitement" into your life by breaking up with the person, or just fighting with them; this will generally end in breaking up anyway once they get bored of fighting.
Or
- Realise that having a partner for the purpose of "excitement" is a ridiculous impossibility, then appreciate them for the qualities that you enjoy (kindness, honesty, loyalty, trust etc etc) and develop a stronger relationship based on your mutual understanding that you can just enjoy having a nice, effortless relationship where both parties care greatly for each other.
If you need excitement from a partner, you might as well just live a life of "wild" one-night stands...
This, excitement is a completely pointless basis for a proper relationship. Fun, yes, interesting yes, but excitement? Nope.
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
This, excitement is a completely pointless basis for a proper relationship. Fun, yes, interesting yes, but excitement? Nope.
Disagree. In the beginning, excitement should be present. All those butterfly-related sensations etc. Friendships are fun and interesting. Dating is exciting.
Besides, 'exciting' is surely somewhere near to 'fun' and 'interesting'?
How can discovering if there's a romantic future with a new person NOT be exciting anyhow, unless you're not fussed about the outcome either way/not really into that person to begin with?
If you enjoy his company and you are attracted to him, then it sounds like you're doing pretty good! But, if there's no real spark then it could be either that either:
i) Maybe you need to do more interesting things together! Just hanging out can get stale, and shared experience brings people together, and can "fan the flames," as they say. First-loves are by their nature new and interesting, but you only have that once! Other people can cause the same feelings, but by being interesting to you, and exciting, and fun to be with for whatever reason.
ii) Or maybe it wasn't meant to be. You sound like you're kind of bored of him - or at least somewhat uninspired by him. No spark, no rush, no excitement. So then you have to ask yourself: how much would you miss him if you separated? Are you starting to think someone else would be better for you? If you definatly want to stay with him, then it could be the first point, just needing something to shake up the relationship and make it interesting.
i) Maybe you need to do more interesting things together! Just hanging out can get stale, and shared experience brings people together, and can "fan the flames," as they say. First-loves are by their nature new and interesting, but you only have that once! Other people can cause the same feelings, but by being interesting to you, and exciting, and fun to be with for whatever reason.
ii) Or maybe it wasn't meant to be. You sound like you're kind of bored of him - or at least somewhat uninspired by him. No spark, no rush, no excitement. So then you have to ask yourself: how much would you miss him if you separated? Are you starting to think someone else would be better for you? If you definatly want to stay with him, then it could be the first point, just needing something to shake up the relationship and make it interesting.
Original post by The_Jammy_Witch
Disagree. In the beginning, excitement should be present. All those butterfly-related sensations etc. Friendships are fun and interesting. Dating is exciting.
Besides, 'exciting' is surely somewhere near to 'fun' and 'interesting'?
How can discovering if there's a romantic future with a new person NOT be exciting anyhow, unless you're not fussed about the outcome either way/not really into that person to begin with?
Besides, 'exciting' is surely somewhere near to 'fun' and 'interesting'?
How can discovering if there's a romantic future with a new person NOT be exciting anyhow, unless you're not fussed about the outcome either way/not really into that person to begin with?
I like the second bold part, but why SHOULD excitement be MANDATORY?
Original post by Calpurnia
I like the second bold part, but why SHOULD excitement be MANDATORY?
Because of the second part: otherwise, how would you know that you're not just settling for what's available? Dating's all about risk, right? When it pays off it's fantastic, but you've gotta be willing to put the interest out there initially, innit? Not knowing whether you're gonna get what you're after/exactly what's gonna happen next is the exciting part.
When I say 'should', I don't mean in an obligatory sense (you can have dates devoid of excitement if you want, who can stop ya?), I mean 'ought to'... as in, it'd be a shame to miss out on all those lovely pre-locking-it-down feelings... provided that it does end up going the way you want, of course!
For me personally, if I'm not excited about a guy in the beginning, it's my sign to myself that I'm not really into him.
I would have personally preferred not to have had the honeymoon phase of the relationship i am in now, things change in the future, and they have changed loads with me.
They have changed so much that i am constantly referring back to it and comparing things.
It doesn't help that our honeymoon phase lasted nearly a year!
Basically it does depend on the two people.
They have changed so much that i am constantly referring back to it and comparing things.
It doesn't help that our honeymoon phase lasted nearly a year!
Basically it does depend on the two people.
I feel pretty much the same in my relationship, we've been seeing each other since January and I guess it was made official by March, but I just don't feel any sparks at all. He's a nice guy and we have fun together, but have never spent more than a few hours together at a time, or over night (but then we were asleep for half of the time).
I feel like I'm waiting for this amazing spark to happen between us, but it just doesn't seem to be coming. Considered ending it for this reason but he is a genuinely lovely guy, so I keep wanting to give it a chance!
Could it be because we don't spend enough time together, but surely we haven't because we're just sorta done hanging out after a few hours!
I feel like I'm waiting for this amazing spark to happen between us, but it just doesn't seem to be coming. Considered ending it for this reason but he is a genuinely lovely guy, so I keep wanting to give it a chance!
Could it be because we don't spend enough time together, but surely we haven't because we're just sorta done hanging out after a few hours!
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- am i crazy for being annoyed about this?
- should i be suspicious that my partner misses her ex or am i just overthinking?
- UWS Nursing Graduation?
- Bf never gives me a time ??????
- How long does it take to know a person's true colours
- Honestly, is this normal for a first relationship? I have doubts a lot
- can I afford a relationship? (student edition)
- End of honeymoon phase or end of relationship
- Make it More Climate Change-ey !!
- Can someone help me with what this means?
- Fed up of my bf
- Make it More Tree-ey !!
- I cant help comparing my relationship to others! It makes me feel I’m not in love..
- Boyfriend being annoying
- Trigonometric Modelling
- Electric Fields Question
- How do I answer this mechanics question on distance?
- Norethisterone - Do the benefits outweigh the side effects?
- What to do if girlfriend has lost feelings?
- Is he not attracted to me anymore?
Latest
Last reply 1 minute ago
Inlaks, Commonwealth, and Other Scholarships for Indian Students 2024: ThreadLast reply 1 minute ago
Amazon Project management apprenticeship 2024Last reply 1 minute ago
Does applying for higher maintenance loan delay tuition fees if complications happenLast reply 1 minute ago
Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2024 Entry ThreadDentistry
2799
Last reply 1 minute ago
Official Royal Veterinary College Applicant Thread for 2024Last reply 2 minutes ago
Home Office: Immigration Enforcement Casework Support AO 2024Last reply 2 minutes ago
Best university for (mechanical) engineering?Last reply 5 minutes ago
MPhil Advanced Computer Science Cambridge - 2024 EntryLast reply 6 minutes ago
Michaela School: Muslim student loses prayer ban challengeLast reply 6 minutes ago
TSR Study Together - STEM vs Humanities - Ninth SessionTrending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 1 week ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceTrending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 1 week ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choice
