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Mental Health Support Society MKVII

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Really struggling on leave :frown:

Got thoughts going through my head and I just generally feel unsafe. Although I know I can't do anything here at home because my mum will find me.
Sounds very teenage angsty I know but I just don't fit in anywhere, even in a psychiatric hospital.
I don't know if I need to go back early to stay safe but I know if I tell my mum I'm struggling she'll worry and probably insist on sleeping in my bed with me or something. Not sure what to do.

On a more positive note, I confided in somebody for the first time about my sexuality last night. On a less positive note, it left me more confused and upset than I was before.

Reply 5481

avhhs

Original post by Anonymous

Really struggling on leave :frown:

Hope things improve for you :hugs:

Reply 5482

22KT22

Original post by d123

Sorry to hear that :frown:

Thanks, seems stupid I know. But on top of my weight gain etc i just feel ugly and bleurgh.

Reply 5483

luno

Original post by Anonymous

Luno, I think being scared of going because it makes everything feel more 'real' makes complete sense! I've felt much the same with a variety of things in regards to depression to be honest. I guess it means admitting it, and there've been times I've even been afraid to write things down because of that fear of making things seem more real, so you're not alone in having that fear. When my depression was diagnosed, I remember feeling scared that that diagnosis had actually been made, as although it didn't come as a surprise (I'd been ill for about 2 years before I saw the GP), it scared me because someone professional had actually said that's what my feeling low was, rather than me just matching the symptoms and teachers and so on saying it was likely - again, I guess it's about it becoming real, rather than a possibility. I'm pleased that you are coping though, and I hope things continue like that for you. :smile:

I'd really recommend seeing your GP even so though - mine's utterly fantastic, and she's helped me a lot. If you tackle it now, then you'll be nipping it in the bud and preventing things from potentially deteriorating. :smile:

I couldn't really explain why I feel scared but you've articulated it perfectly! I'm happy you're GP is really helpful :smile:

. I'll keep your advice in mind, thank you :hugs:

Reply 5484

luno

Original post by Anonymous

Really struggling on leave :frown:

. Please do what's best for you and what will keep you safe. I know you don't want your mum to worry but I'm sure she would rather know you're struggling so she can help keep you safe.

I hope things improve soon :jumphug:

.

Regarding your sexuality, it's great you managed to confide in someone! I hope you feel less confused and upset :console:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 5485

luno

Original post by avhhs

Everything is still really crap :cry:

. Been so ill today. Don't have the energy to do anything.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my HTC Wildfire S

I hope you feel better soon :jumphug:

Reply 5486

Anonymous #38

Original post by luno

I couldn't really explain why I feel scared but you've articulated it perfectly! I'm happy you're GP is really helpful :smile:

. I'll keep your advice in mind, thank you :hugs:

Anytime.

Thanks - she is great, although she's away at the moment. :frown:

I hope that if you do go, it works out equally well for you!

Reply 5487

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Urgh, really sick to death of feeling so super inadequate of always being forever single. ****ing unattractive me. And deep down I know that being so self-pitying and un-confident are unattractive traits in themselves, I'm really struggling to break out of this awful cycle of mine :sad:

Not that that's even the worst of my problems currently anyway, which makes it all the more worse because everything just feels like it's all building up :sigh:

. And I can't find my bloody CBT book.

That said, having my new rabbit in my room has been a lil bit of a cheer-up for me :smile:

. Although, how long this feeling will last I don't know.

Reply 5488

Sultana

Original post by luno

I know it's not bad to ask for help but I just can't. I wouldn't say I am scared but the idea of going just makes everything feel more 'real', which scared me the most, does that make sense? I will probably end up going but I am coping at the moment. Although I often feel low and minus having a bad sleeping pattern, I feel like I am coping. I carry on with my life and routine like normal, maybe because I have to. The idea of becoming dependent on meds just scares me. I also have this thought that it'll change me as a person and hide the 'real' me. But I will keep your advice in mind, thank you :hugs:

.

I would say I am well enough to work but going to the doctors so close to my year abroad with mental health issues just seems like it will cause problems, especially since I will be working in a school :erm:

. I will look into the form though.

No, you don't sound like you're trying to force me at all! I really appreciate your help. Thank you, that's what I am hoping too - sometimes I feel a bit trapped and sick of the same thing everyday so I am hoping a change of scene and a chance to live independently will help me :biggrin:

.

Which distraction ideas would you say help you the most?

That makes total sense, if someone else diagnosis's you you can't pretend anymore; it turns it into an actuality. Sometimes I sort of wish I had never gone to the doctors, because now I am actually 'mentally ill' rather than just struggling a bit. I think that worry about meds is completely reasonable, I'm kind of worried about how/when I'm going to be off mine. Although, I don't think you really become dependent; coming off them does bring withdrawal effects but your mood isn't going to drop lower than it was originally (I don't think, I chatting rubbish here! :tongue:

) With the masking yourself thing; I've actually found that the depression was masking myself and I'm actually feeling a lot more like 'me' now.

Really glad that you are managing to cope though, even if it is through necessity. Its fair you don't want to do anything to jeopardise your year abroad, your more than likely going to go and have an awesome time! :biggrin:

Just don't wait until you're at breaking point before asking!

Personally I have to keep busy; so exercise (if I feel up to it), cooking/baking, crafty things, writing and cleaning! The house is always spotless when I'm around! Usually I'll also put music/tv/film on in the background, but unless I do something else as well my mind wanders to much. Changing my environment helps a little, as does moving around; anything to try and keep my thoughts moving. Keeping my hands busy with something is helpful for me. Sometimes I'll quite manically organise my wardrobe or bookcase or something. :colondollar:

The lists I have also recommend masturbating as a good distraction! :teehee:

If you want a copy I can upload them.

luno

Cool, you'll have to keep me updated and let me know what you think when you watch them :biggrin:

Will do

Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom

That said, having my new rabbit in my room has been a lil bit of a cheer-up for me :smile:

. Although, how long this feeling will last I don't know.

Are we talking animal rabbit here right?! :colone:

Reply 5489

Anonymous #38

Original post by Sultana

I think that worry about meds is completely reasonable, I'm kind of worried about how/when I'm going to be off mine. Although, I don't think you really become dependent; coming off them does bring withdrawal effects but your mood isn't going to drop lower than it was originally (I don't think, I chatting rubbish here! :tongue:

)

Although you can't become dependent on antidepressants, from what I gather, as you say, there may be withdrawal effects. Also, GPs are likely to keep you on the effective dosage of your medication for 6-12 months after your symptoms have improved in order to prevent the chance of a relapse. Coming off them earlier can increase the likelihood of depression returning, or might cause your symptoms to return very quickly.

Reply 5490

superwolf

Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom

That said, having my new rabbit in my room has been a lil bit of a cheer-up for me :smile:

. Although, how long this feeling will last I don't know.

Original post by Sultana

Are we talking animal rabbit here right?! :colone:

My thoughts exactly. :hubba:

I feel that the society could do with seeing a picture of CherryCherryBoomBoom's rabbit. Possibly even of her playing with her rabbit. :sexface:

Reply 5491

d123

I should be sleeping. I really should be sleeping.

Reply 5492

superwolf

Original post by d123

I should be sleeping. I really should be sleeping.

Reply 5493

d123

Original post by superwolf

I love this song! So so much. Tigermilk is one of my favourite albums of all time :love:

Reply 5494

superwolf

Original post by d123

I love this song! So so much. Tigermilk is one of my favourite albums of all time :love:

It's my favourite album ever. :love:

Reply 5495

d123

Original post by superwolf

It's my favourite album ever. :love:

I've seen them live :biggrin:

I've also met Stuart Murdoch twice :love:

Reply 5496

superwolf

Original post by d123

I've seen them live :biggrin:

I've also met Stuart Murdoch twice :love:

Me too!

Aww, I bet he's lovely. :h:

Thread that people might be interested in answering - person researching people's experiences with mental illness at uni.

Reply 5497

d123

Original post by superwolf

Me too!

Aww, I bet he's lovely. :h:

Thread that people might be interested in answering - person researching people's experiences with mental illness at uni.

He is

Once I met him at a book reading he was doing, so that was planned. The second time I ran into him at a gig in Glasgow. I was like 'OMG is that him?'

We went over to say hi.

I totally fangirled. I told him he was the reason I moved to Glasgow and that Belle and Sebastian were partially responsible for me getting through school vaguely intact. Both those things are totally true but I may have scared him slightly.