i don't understand the logic of.self acceptance
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Original post by Riku
She was not a realisitc prospect, she was a beautiful, intelligent and highly ambitious woman from an orthodox religious, conservative family background, whereas I was a demotivated, paranoid, insecure hermit running from my present continuously back to the past in fear of both the present and the future. I am not the boy that she once knew-although I did make her happy.
Don't be an idiot, she probably thought the same about you, the difference is she happened to fall out of love with you quicker than the other way round. Can't be helped.
Also if she wasn't a realistic prospect how could you possibly have ended up going out? Evidence from the real world trumps your insecure self-justifications I'm afraid.
Original post by Riku
Ok, but I have an established social anxiety now so this isn't going to happen overnight
Nothing happens over night. You will have to work at it and try hard. Eventually it will get easier, but as you have admitted it wont change overnight. I wish you the best of luck.
Original post by Riku
I think that most people on this thread think along the same lines to you Sarrah, except for me who is claiming ts trive for perfection but is in fact playing at keyboard warrior in the university library rather than doing his finals coursework, and the fact that this thread even exists to ask the question is it ok to be less than perfect is a sign that either a) I am still very mentally ill and in need of treatment, and/or b) the creation of this thread is in itself me trying to avoid confronting the central reason that I am mentally ill.
Well good luck in those finals haha! and the truth is i may believe what i just said but when it comes to practise i don't usually follow. I think everyone has self esteem issues, and i must admit, not long ago i was extremely ill (mentally), i mean i guess i still am to a certain extent but my belief in that statement helps me to forget about my trivial self esteem/ self acceptance issues. i don't believe that i am perfect because there is no perfection.
Original post by Riku
But if you read my OP I was on extreme mood and saying I MUST BE GOD AT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING AND YOU WILL ALL COWER BENEATH MY MIGHT which is the same sort of thought I got when stressed when I was like 13, can you see that my concept of self improvement is a wee unrealistic?
If you master yourself you could potentially be a God at everything.
Original post by Riku
I completely understand showing your best qualities and improving yourself. I do not understand being prepared to admit your lesser qualities to people or even being content with the way you are, that you are an imperfect human being and that is actually ok?! Surely you should just improve everything and reach perfection, given a choice between someone 90% perfect and 95% perfect you will always choose the 95% perfect person ofc?!
It is just completely illogical to think that revealing that you are not as superhuman and godly as someone once thought you were is going to do anything except slightly turn them off you and make them look for the more perfect person
It is just completely illogical to think that revealing that you are not as superhuman and godly as someone once thought you were is going to do anything except slightly turn them off you and make them look for the more perfect person
Nobody's perfect, even those types of people who you think are perfect have flaws. You should focus on trying to be the person you want to be personally, not trying to achieve some sort perfection that isn't possible and doesn't exist. Accepting yourself for who you are, knowing you have qualities but also flaws is one best ways to be confident about yourself and just generally happy. Obsessing over being perfect is only going to cause yourself problems.
Original post by pink pineapple
Nobody's perfect, even those types of people who you think are perfect have flaws. You should focus on trying to be the person you want to be personally, not trying to achieve some sort perfection that isn't possible and doesn't exist. Accepting yourself for who you are, knowing you have qualities but also flaws is one best ways to be confident about yourself and just generally happy. Obsessing over being perfect is only going to cause yourself problems.
I don't think people should be accepting the things that they could control instead, such as obesity etc.. passive vs. active.
Original post by hihoho
If you master yourself you could potentially be a God at everything.
No, you don't get it, I mean superhuman powers. Flying, lifting up aeroplanes, mind control with sheer willpower, invulnerability to eletcirc train lines. It's an unusual belief and irrational. It's a childhood thing but it comes out every now and then when stress is getting too much.
Original post by Zaros
Nothing happens over night. You will have to work at it and try hard. Eventually it will get easier, but as you have admitted it wont change overnight. I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you
Considering I've managed to befriend people in at least a society context and friends of a friend, and people at work, I don't think it's impossible. I just want to work on improving it. Also learning to deal with triggers such as finding myself in uncomfortable situations (drinking usually)
Original post by Sarrah17
Well good luck in those finals haha! and the truth is i may believe what i just said but when it comes to practise i don't usually follow. I think everyone has self esteem issues, and i must admit, not long ago i was extremely ill (mentally), i mean i guess i still am to a certain extent but my belief in that statement helps me to forget about my trivial self esteem/ self acceptance issues. i don't believe that i am perfect because there is no perfection.
I think it's a good statement and I'm trying to point out that the thread shouldn't have gone on this long because maybe I'm being unreasonable
keep fighting and thanks! I'm terrified haha
Original post by pink pineapple
Nobody's perfect, even those types of people who you think are perfect have flaws. You should focus on trying to be the person you want to be personally, not trying to achieve some sort perfection that isn't possible and doesn't exist. Accepting yourself for who you are, knowing you have qualities but also flaws is one best ways to be confident about yourself and just generally happy. Obsessing over being perfect is only going to cause yourself problems.
Generally speaking I'm happy with who I am until I get caught in a rumination and then I hate myself/think I'm hugely inferior, it's a weird cycle and that's why I should stop these threads :shrug:
I have plenty of qualities but I'm still freaked out about what I did so wrong to get this girl who once loved me treating me so cold. Unless it's her way of coping with a breakup that she admitted was hurting her a lot too, idk
Original post by hihoho
I don't think people should be accepting the things that they could control instead, such as obesity etc.. passive vs. active.
No, of course there are things everyone can change about themselves to make them feel better. But by accepting that you're never going to be 100% perfect and being happy with who you are as a person can make you so much happier.
Original post by Riku
No, you don't get it, I mean superhuman powers. Flying, lifting up aeroplanes, mind control with sheer willpower, invulnerability to eletcirc train lines. It's an unusual belief and irrational. It's a childhood thing but it comes out every now and then when stress is getting too much.
You can fly with a wingsuit, mind control can be done as well if you master your movements and are confident in them, how do you think psychopaths manipulate others, through sheer luck or will power? You can start lifting such that you have the most strength 99% of the time when surrounding other people. You can start wearing rubber if you want invulverability against electricity. Characteristics and traits are relative.
Original post by pink pineapple
No, of course there are things everyone can change about themselves to make them feel better. But by accepting that you're never going to be 100% perfect and being happy with who you are as a person can make you so much happier.
You can be perfect though, if you start comparing. Solution B might be better than solution A, then solution A would be considered perfect. If a new solution comes out then that solution would be considered perfect. Humans just define the term "perfect" to be impossible such that they can be lazy and not have a go at it.
Original post by Riku
But Lady Ecliptic, if I won't have a single friend from my course to graduate with this July, I must be pretty damn far from perfect.
Listen here.
Just because you may not have friends from your course, doesn't mean it's because you are far from perfect.
I'm not perfect, and have lots of friends, it's called, going out and making an effort.
Maybe the ones on your course are just not right for you. There are a lot more people you could be friends with outside your course, your friend options are not just limited to those 60 odd people you know.
Original post by hihoho
You can fly with a wingsuit, mind control can be done as well if you master your movements and are confident in them, how do you think psychopaths manipulate others, through sheer luck or will power? You can start lifting such that you have the most strength 99% of the time when surrounding other people. You can start wearing rubber if you want invulverability against electricity. Characteristics and traits are relative.
Original post by hihoho
You can fly with a wingsuit, mind control can be done as well if you master your movements and are confident in them, how do you think psychopaths manipulate others, through sheer luck or will power? You can start lifting such that you have the most strength 99% of the time when surrounding other people. You can start wearing rubber if you want invulverability against electricity. Characteristics and traits are relative.
Wow, you sound as deluded as me with this one. If you can successfully get in the news with your wingsuit, mind control powers, superhuman strength and complete invulnerability by next Tuesday I'll give you a tenner, deal?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by LadyEcliptic
Listen here.
Just because you may not have friends from your course, doesn't mean it's because you are far from perfect.
I'm not perfect, and have lots of friends, it's called, going out and making an effort.
Maybe the ones on your course are just not right for you. There are a lot more people you could be friends with outside your course, your friend options are not just limited to those 60 odd people you know.
Just because you may not have friends from your course, doesn't mean it's because you are far from perfect.
I'm not perfect, and have lots of friends, it's called, going out and making an effort.
Maybe the ones on your course are just not right for you. There are a lot more people you could be friends with outside your course, your friend options are not just limited to those 60 odd people you know.
I'll agree with you on that which is where social anxiety comes into play, but people have also pointed out my personality onnhere is often far from likeable :-/ if it's transferring into real life which I jope it isn't, well that's a problem. I seemed to get on fine with friends from the social today though :-S
Original post by Riku
I'll agree with you on that which is where social anxiety comes into play, but people have also pointed out my personality onnhere is often far from likeable :-/ if it's transferring into real life which I jope it isn't, well that's a problem. I seemed to get on fine with friends from the social today though :-S
I have anxiety too, but, I had to force myself to get out and try to get talking to people, I don't want to end up being a complete recluse and not be able to talk to anyone..
Maybe, stop posting threads like this? Honestly, you don't seem to have any faith in yourself at all and that's pretty destructive.
Original post by Riku
Wow, you sound as deluded as me with this one. If you can successfully get in the news with your wingsuit, mind control powers, superhuman strength and complete invulnerability against a live rail by next Tuesday I'll give you a tenner, deal?
My point is that it is possible, I didn't put a timeframe, that is your construct to limit such possibility even further.. I have obviously watched way too many youtube videos for this to make sense to me.
