The Student Room Group

Why aren't males treating females like Ladies anymore?

As I have grown up I have inevitably gained a more in-depth understanding about general intimacy. But in doing so, I have come to recognise a gradual detioration of respect from men towards the opposite sex, which I believe has been gradually breaking down for at least several decades. I find this is especially the case amongst a seemingly large majority of many of my male acquaintances at college, and, although they are not aware themselves that I resent them for it, some of the attitudes they express towards females I find are terribly disrespectful.

Of course, I can expect that some may think I am being too politically correct or irrational, but I think this is a serious problem that will potentially get worse in the future, and thus most likely jeopardise the social perspective of women. Not only this, but I myself,(and hopefully many others), am tired of feeling like I am being stereotyped by girls as being 'just another typical guy', because of a selfish majority.

A fine example from many of my own experiences is the idea that it almost now seems to be the norm to perceieve young women as sex symbols. It appears as though the moment a group of males spot a remotely attractive female, they are instantly obliged to start making outrageous sexual remarks to one another about her appearance.
Ok - there's no harm in complimenting a girl's allure or beauty, but what I'm talking about here are out of control comments which are simply not being frowned upon enough, particularly by guys themselves, and seem to be being shrugged off by girls.

Furthremore, people who agree with me will no doubt wonder why...why is this attitude more and more increasingly present? To answer that question, I think we have to attempt to look thoroughly into the root causes.

Guys who I have questioned about this topic tend to argue that "women bring this type of extreme sexual banter upon themselves due to the way they present themselves". In my opinion, that is the answer of a coward, because the whole issue goes much deeper than that.
Additionally, a girl who I have asked seemed to go about the claim that, "guys are always thinking with their dicks", or something to a similar extent.

Similarly, that claim is also disputable. If that statement was in fact the true reason for this growing attitude amongst many young males, then why wasn't this the case decades ago - in and around the 1950s, for example. As far as I'm aware, males still has penises back then, yet it was a man's personal duty, whilst deemed individually necessary to treat all females like Ladies.

If you think this claim is false, then all you have to do is compare 1950's culture, music and film with today's. A perfect example is in music, where we see how easy it is today to listen to popular male artists singing and rapping about 'money and bitches'. If these sort of sexually explicit lyrics were heard and made public back then, there would be an absolute uproar and probably a psychological investigation into the mental state of the artist who wrote the lyrics. Compare the hearing of those same lyrics with the society of today, and it's all too obvious that they are perceived in a total opposite nature - they are almost glorified.

Nobody who I have ever asked has ever disagreed with me when I share the opinion that I think more young females in our society are wearing more 'sexually revealling' clothes. But again, we have to ask, why? What has changed between the mid 20th century to now?

Well to begin with, it is no mystery that the sexual expectations of a woman have been raised more than ever before. It's no exaggeration to say that a lot of young girls are now expected to dress in this evermore sexually provocative manner.

But where does this expectation originate from? Perhaps it is a matter of conformity amongst young girls, but that still doesn't fully identify the root cause. Some might even argue that the way women dress is irrelevant, and that men should pose discrete and respectful attitudes towards them, regardless of the clothes they choose to appear in.

I will also be surprised if pornography doesn't crop up in playing a role in this topic. It has to be considered - does the gripping hold of porn on 99.9% of young men have a significant relation to degrading views of females in general and what is expected of them? Personally, I think it most definitely does.

But what about you?

Maybe you totally disagree with me...perhaps you think I don't even have a point. Therefore, allow to make clear that I respect and appreciate everybody's opinion.

To be honest, I am still trying to fully decide whether there is one root cause to this whole matter, or whether there is a whole variety of causes. This is why I would like to hear your thoughts, regardless of the possibility that I have already come to my own certain conclusions.

I think there must indeed be a whole range of factors, and I would like to see if some others can identify or recognise these factors, because it is essential that this growing problem is brought out more into open and addressed in our society.

Kind Regards.

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Reply 1
Reply 2
I think we can blame extreme feminists for labelling everything sexist
For instance: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17203823
They want equality, we treat them less like kitchen dwelmers. Apart from ****ing them and all the usual gubbins which comes with a relationship, I treat them as if they have penises.
I like that you put a considerable amount of effort into the guy-who-thinks-he's-far-better-at-writing-than-he-is effect. The number of superfluous expressions you've included shows attention to detail.

8/10.
Reply 5
Original post by Playa10
I think we can blame extreme feminists for labelling everything sexist
For instance: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17203823


Article by Mark Bosworth, maybe he found it funny i didn't.
Reply 6
Original post by jackmikeMon

A fine example from many of my own experiences is the idea that it almost now seems to be the norm to perceieve young women as sex symbols. It appears as though the moment a group of males spot a remotely attractive female, they are instantly obliged to start making outrageous sexual remarks to one another about her appearance.

But young women ARE sex symbols. They are sexually attractive to men.
And it is natural for men to comment on this to other men.
This is not a new concept.

Next question.

Original post by jackmikeMon

Ok - there's no harm in complimenting a girl's allure or beauty, but what I'm talking about here are out of control comments which are simply not being frowned upon enough, particularly by guys themselves, and seem to be being shrugged off by girls.

Why must they be frowned upon? :confused: How is complimenting someone something to be frowned upon?

Original post by jackmikeMon
Furthremore, people who agree with me will no doubt wonder why...why is this attitude more and more increasingly present? To

Guys who I have questioned about this topic tend to argue that "women bring this type of extreme sexual banter upon themselves due to the way they present themselves". In my opinion, that is the answer of a coward, because the whole issue goes much deeper than that.
Additionally, a girl who I have asked seemed to go about the claim that, "guys are always thinking with their dicks", or something to a similar extent.

Men find women sexually appealing. See how I condensed those two paragraphs into that very short and easy to understand sentence.

This is not a new phenomenon. In fact, men have been attracted to women for some time now.

Original post by jackmikeMon
Similarly, that claim is also disputable. If that statement was in fact the true reason for this growing attitude amongst many young males, then why wasn't this the case decades ago - in and around the 1950s, for example. As far as I'm aware, males still has penises back then, yet it was a man's personal duty, whilst deemed individually necessary to treat all females like Ladies.

I think someone has a rather rosey recollection of what it was like in the 50s. Were you alive in the 50s? Thought not.

Men were exactly the same back then. In fact they've pretty much been that way for hundreds of thousands of years.

Original post by jackmikeMon
If you think this claim is false, then all you have to do is compare 1950's culture, music and film with today's. A perfect example is in music, where we see how easy it is today to listen to popular male artists singing and rapping about 'money and bitches'. If these sort of sexually explicit lyrics were heard and made public back then, there would be an absolute uproar and probably a psychological investigation into the mental state of the artist who wrote the lyrics. Compare the hearing of those same lyrics with the society of today, and it's all too obvious that they are perceived in a total opposite nature - they are almost glorified.

Have you never read Shakespeare? Have you never read all the literature of the last hundreds of years? All of it filled with sexual imagery. A lot of it devoted to women and their sex appeal. A lot of it devoted to conquest, power and wealth.

In order words... 'money and bitches'

Don't pretend like anything has changed in that regard.

Original post by jackmikeMon
Nobody who I have ever asked has ever disagreed with me when I share the opinion that I think more young females in our society are wearing more 'sexually revealling' clothes. But again, we have to ask, why? What has changed between the mid 20th century to now?

We have moved away from the repressive Victorian era when humans were forced to deny they were sexual beings. And taught that God loves you and that you're going to burn in hell, and that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and that you should save it for someone you love. :rolleyes:

There's no thing as "sexually revealing" clothes. There are clothes which hide what you really look like, and then there's no clothes. Your true human form.

One is neither more "sexually revealing" than the other, because the human body is not inherently sexual in appearance.
Original post by jackmikeMon
Some might even argue that the way women dress is irrelevant, and that men should pose discrete and respectful attitudes towards them, regardless of the clothes they choose to appear in.
Exactly, this is what rational people argue. You should treat someone respectfully whether they are wearing clothes or not. Why does respect correlate with what clothes you wear and not the character of the person?

It's the most insane and ridiculous thing humans have ever thought up.

Original post by jackmikeMon
I will also be surprised if pornography doesn't crop up in playing a role in this topic. It has to be considered - does the gripping hold of porn on 99.9% of young men have a significant relation to degrading views of females in general and what is expected of them? Personally, I think it most definitely does.

How is it "degrading"? :lolwut: If anything it is degrading it's that you expect females to repress their sexuality and deny their humanity, which is not only harmful but sexist.
Reply 7
Chivalry is dead and women killed it.
Why should we?
You do actually make a good point, though a lot of this negativity is from chavs, who tend to scare away women and make remarks at them when they're walking past

Though, a lot is generalising, and I've generalised as well myself. There are people out there that don't act like that; in my town I genuinely shocked an old couple just for opening a door (You could see the shock on their faces)

Perhaps, it's more that mutual respect seems to have gone a bit?
Reply 10
because the majority of women want equality so if thats what they want they cant expect them to get treated like "ladies" when they want to ... personally i think females and males can never be "equal" noones particularly better (men are superior :tongue:) but all the changes are due to them wanting to change more than males turning into dicks.
I'm sorry, I really was appreciating what you were saying until the first reason you give is 'rap music' :colonhash:
Really? The number of times this is used in various arguments is ridiculous. It should be the pop music industry that should be held responsible,
aired far more often and many young children listen to it and are influenced by the ever increasing sexualized language.
I know many would probably disagree, but i think it's wrong to blame the whole of society's problems on a genre of music
lol.

"I want some equality"
10 minutes later
"why does nobody hold the door for me?
Why does nobody drop their coat in this puddle so I can cross the road?
I hate men they don't treat us like women"

:rolleyes:
women logic
Original post by ELs123
lol.

"I want some equality"
10 minutes later
"why does nobody hold the door for me?
Why does nobody drop their coat in this puddle so I can cross the road?
I hate men they don't treat us like women"

:rolleyes:
women logic


But that's common courtesy, I hold doors open for anyone, male or female.

IMO, porn mixed with the 'lad' culture, viewing and treating young women who dress provocatively as dispensable and criticising those who don't. Lusting after anyone who is deemed attractive and essentially s***ting on those who aren't.
(edited 11 years ago)
OP could of made his life a lot easier by just saying "lets get rid of rap music". :tongue:
There's a thread about "Women and children first on a sinking ship" bouncing around at the moment. You'll find a lot of responses on there quite interesting regarding your question
Reply 16
I suppose it is because of a number of things, feminists criticising men for opening doors for them. This determination to be equal to men has led men to believe they don't have to place women on pedestal and treat them like the "meek and mild" damsels in distress of the past. Although, it can't fully be blamed on feminists, society doesn't expect men to treat women with respect, which means it has become appropriate for men to treat women as sexual objects-nothing else. Call me old-fashioned but I still believe in good manners, holding doors for people, replying with please and thank you, the amount of times I expect the following, only to get pissed of with the rudeness of some people. For instance, if I'm on the bus and some chav comes along with a push chair, I'll obviously give up my seat but rarely do I even get a simple smile, never mind a thank you.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Playa10
I think we can blame extreme feminists for labelling everything sexist
For instance: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17203823


How can you possibly blame behaviours such as this on feminism?

:rolleyes:
Original post by jackmikeMon

Spoiler



Because most women nowadays are not ladies :redface:

These women drink like men, act like men, sound like men etc. These women would actually feel uncomfortable if they were treated like ladies.
Original post by ELs123
lol.

"I want some equality"
10 minutes later
"why does nobody hold the door for me?
Why does nobody drop their coat in this puddle so I can cross the road?
I hate men they don't treat us like women"

:rolleyes:
women logic


I agree

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