Depression Society MKVI

I am, yes. I don't know what to do or how to do it though, I'm so bloody pathetic.

I haven't seen you around for a while, how are you doing?

So true.



I have nothing really to say. And no I should go to bed as I've got to be at the station for quarter past 8 but I really don't want.

If he really typed that then it just seems like a massive waste of your time.

I'm alright, thanks. How did the parent situation turn out? Presuming it has reached some sort of temporary conclusion.

Yep, I understand how she's feeling ( for her!) And at the end of the day they can and probably would turn around and say they found a better candidate. They can also claim that the workplace isn't suitable for a person with mental illness

No, it's from Howls Moving Castle

I know, and combining that with all the crap he's said/done, it shouldn't be worth it. I can say "oh, he's very different now", but it's always at the back of my mind, it's always there to make me feel crap. But then this was a year and a few months ago. Another thing is that we've got a load of stuff booked together and I'm supposed to meet his mum and stuff, if I say something now I'll probably lose a lot of money. I'm not going to contact him until I've got something sorted out. Thanks for replying

Glad to hear it Yeah, it's alright now, other family have had a word with my dad and he's been subdued, overall it's much better than at Christmas. Thank you for asking

At least you're not in denial about it. Unfortuantely, it seems that very few people actually do change but then again, he could be in the minority that has done so. Although if he did/said anything like that again, I really would just try and... yeah, terminate that aspect of your life immediately

Ah, great! I'm glad you can study in peace now and whatnot.

Is this a friend you're talking about, or someone else?

I'm a bit like this too, I get quite panicky when I feel like I'm being ignored, so I just ask it straight out because I can't stand any form of tension. I don't know if I'm interpreting your situation correctly, but sometimes it better to just ask straight out.

I'm not sure, I've always felt that for half our 2 year relationship he was horrible, but I was too weak to say anything. I still think about everything now and again, so maybe I should just end it. I don't know, ah well.

Yeah, it's been better, thank you again for asking

I keep talking about myself sorry, am feeling pretty bad about it How have things been with you? Good start to the new year?

Yeah. I've been trying to ask straight out, but he's been ignoring me.

It's ok though- I went and made myself tea (cinnamon bagels are the best thing ever) and made a decision. So, yeah, basically, that's it, case closed and I'm not thinking about it any more.

I know what you mean about tension, I'm horrible for it. I don't even like returning things in shops, because I think that I'm making the sales person sad

Well, he seems to make you unhappy and it doesn't seem like you can trust him... which is pretty much the exact opposite of what a relationship is meant to be doing/consist of. Presumably you're not going to the same university as him?

No need to thank me or anyone else, its what this thread is for. And don't worry, there is literally nothing going on in my life right now that is worth talking about. I'm just waiting for September/October.

I just replied to your PM, and given what you've told me here most of what I said doesn't matter so big big big hugs from me, well done. I definitely agree with you with the bagels too

It's a horrible feeling isn't it? I do the same, haha! I have to put my tough face on With other people, I just let it build up until I get frustrated, not the best thing to do.

I'm glad things are ok now, enjoy your bagels

Ah, it's ok. Bagels are the best thing ever (a bit expensive, but one of my flatmates eats them all the time and I've been resisting buying a packet of my own for months )

I wish I didn't care about not upsetting other people, because there's a point where it gets daft. I don't like telling my doctor that things haven't been so good because I feel like I'm disappointing her. Which isn't a particularly good reason, really..

The bagels were enjoyed an hour ago Currently resisting the urge to go and eat the three that are left..

You're very right But how would I go about explaining that I found this post? Or that I haven't forgotten what he used to be like? Would I sound stupid? Long story short, we've an age gap between us and he's just about to finish uni. *sigh*

Ah, uni excitement? High 5

I was googling the username he uses for a photo website he has as I couldn't remember the site and saw he was on TSR. I suppose I did look at his posts, which could be seen as privacy-evading though. I'm an idiot, I know.

Oh nice! Where are you looking to go?

Glad to see things are looking up

Are you ok?

That's good news!

Don't forget, you're doing a degree. I'm sure they're supposed to challenge you so you won't get everything right first time. Try not to worry about it too much, I'm almost certain there are people who are struggling with the work too.

seriously what is the point sometimes

Feeling more confused and crap about myself than ever. I really don't think I have any kind of future. Everyone else has plans but I have nothing. I'm almost 2/3 the way through my first year and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. Before I was so hard working and was so looking forward to university.. and now I don't even try, I just worry all the time.

And I didn't go to see the nurse this week like I said I would. I chickened out because I don't want someone to tell me all my problems, I already know them.

The senior tutor said to me today "what you're going through isn't uncommon. Hang in there, we don't want to lose you" so clearly someone has been talking about me to him, either the nurse or another tutor. I don't want to be treated like a special case. He knows about my home background and was asking how things were at home and if I was fitting in. And he was asking all this within earshot of other people :/
I don't understand how I can change as a person if people label me as this one person. When people call you shy all the time its hard to be anything else.