The Student Room Group

Not ready for uni...

I got my results yesterday and got AAA, totally unexpected considering i was predicted BBC and to be honest didn't think I'd done all that well (despotic tyranny anyone!?)

Anyway I was originally going to quite a 'low down' uni in my town (anglia ruskin!), but when my results came out my parents sort of talked me into tracking up to a better uni, so now im going away from home.

I just feel I'm not ready mentally to leave my friends and family behind. I was wondering if deferring entry was still a possibility, and how to go about it? The only thing is my parents are against gap years but I cant help it if i dont feel ready. I was thinking about working full time for half a year then travelling with the money I'd saved with a friend...but not sure how easy that'll be.

Anyone else feel like this or done something similar?!
Reply 1
have you actually got a place at a different uni yet?
Reply 2
sc8880
I got my results yesterday and got AAA, totally unexpected considering i was predicted BBC and to be honest didn't think I'd done all that well (despotic tyranny anyone!?)

Anyway I was originally going to quite a 'low down' uni in my town (anglia ruskin!), but when my results came out my parents sort of talked me into tracking up to a better uni, so now im going away from home.

I just feel I'm not ready mentally to leave my friends and family behind. I was wondering if deferring entry was still a possibility, and how to go about it? The only thing is my parents are against gap years but I cant help it if i dont feel ready. I was thinking about working full time for half a year then travelling with the money I'd saved with a friend...but not sure how easy that'll be.

Anyone else feel like this or done something similar?!


firs of all congrats on your grades.

its understandable being worried (im from east anglia too!) but i would make the most of your intellect and go someone better this year!

everyone that I know thats been to uni loved it and gained soo much life xperience. you will still see friends and family in breaks and they can come visit.

dont get to my age (24) and regret not going! even a year could be regretable
Reply 3
ldmoore1
have you actually got a place at a different uni yet?


UEA, to do history. I didnt want to go too far from home but even that seems scarily far with less than a month to go!
Reply 4
Its really important to take that gap year if you don't feel ready. You stand an excellent chance of applying somewhere good with AAA to hand. If you already have a place that you're happy with it, the University may be willing to postpone your offer to next year if you ring them up and ask.
As to your parents, well basically its your life. You're 18 or nearly that (I assume :p:) and you need to be sure that you're happy with the course that you've chosen and the place you're going to study at it before you commit to giving three years of your life to it. If you get there and you feel unsure, that will only affect your motivation and your ability to succeed at it, which will in turn have a knock on effect on how you perform overall and how useful your qualification is to you at graduation. I'm sure your parents can be persuaded to accept this if you put it to them in these terms, and if you show them (by being insistent and appearing confident and knowledgeable) that this is what you want and with good reason.
It sounds like you have a game plan for what to do in your gap year, and I think gap years are usually only bad when people aren't proactive enough to make things happen and use them properly. So if you show that you're capable of using the year productively, I'm sure they'll support you in the end :smile:
sc8880
Anyway I was originally going to quite a 'low down' uni in my town (anglia ruskin!), but when my results came out my parents sort of talked me into tracking up to a better uni, so now im going away from home.


if you want to go to a 'higher up' university apply again in september, that way you'll get another year out as well. solves both problems.
Reply 6
Hate to say it but I think you really shouldn't take a gap year, you can't stay behind just because of friends. Put your education first. It's a big step but it's so important to do. =)
Reply 7
jesty
firs of all congrats on your grades.

its understandable being worried (im from east anglia too!) but i would make the most of your intellect and go someone better this year!

everyone that I know thats been to uni loved it and gained soo much life xperience. you will still see friends and family in breaks and they can come visit.

dont get to my age (24) and regret not going! even a year could be regretable


Thanks :smile: And yeah I suppose you're right. Im now going to UEA, which is slightly better than anglia ruskin! My best friends taking a gap year you see and I suppose I like the idea of putting it off for another year to travel with her but maybe it'll just make me more nervous when September 2010 comes...did you not go to uni then? x
Reply 8
Craghyrax
Its really important to take that gap year if you don't feel ready. You stand an excellent chance of applying somewhere good with AAA to hand. If you already have a place that you're happy with it, the University may be willing to postpone your offer to next year if you ring them up and ask.
As to your parents, well basically its your life. You're 18 or nearly that (I assume :p:) and you need to be sure that you're happy with the course that you've chosen and the place you're going to study at it before you commit to giving three years of your life to it. If you get there and you feel unsure, that will only affect your motivation and your ability to succeed at it, which will in turn have a knock on effect on how you perform overall and how useful your qualification is to you at graduation. I'm sure your parents can be persuaded to accept this if you put it to them in these terms, and if you show them (by being insistent and appearing confident and knowledgeable) that this is what you want and with good reason.
It sounds like you have a game plan for what to do in your gap year, and I think gap years are usually only bad when people aren't proactive enough to make things happen and use them properly. So if you show that you're capable of using the year productively, I'm sure they'll support you in the end :smile:


Thanks thats really good and reassuring to hear. My parents for some reason think gap years are a waste of time but I can already see myself getting completely homesick and I know I'll go there with a negative attitude. I've also only turned 18 so feel really nervous about the whole freshers thing, when Im sure I should be feeling excited.

I just know my parents will say 'what if you cant get a job?' etc...which I suppose is true, I just know deep down I dont feel at all ready and i really dont want to go feeling unconfident and scared.
Reply 9
sc8880
Thanks :smile: And yeah I suppose you're right. Im now going to UEA, which is slightly better than anglia ruskin! My best friends taking a gap year you see and I suppose I like the idea of putting it off for another year to travel with her but maybe it'll just make me more nervous when September 2010 comes...did you not go to uni then? x


Ahh great. UEA is a lot better than anglia ruskin . I believe its 26th on average or something. my friend does english lit there and apparantly its 5th in the country for that. Norwich is a nice area but then im slightly bias lol

im going to uni sept but away from norfolk as I need a break from all this fresh air! lol. also im being based on a NC which is only worth two a level and level 3 mortgage cert which is why i am not too picky which uni i go to (bucks new uni in this case). Going for the degree and not social aspect for once!

Job you enjoy with average pay>job you dont with high pay. thats my experience anyway
congratulations on the grades but seriously are you joking? you're worrying about being just a few miles from your family? i'm moving to london in september and i'll be 2000 miles from friends, family and boyfriend of two years!! JEEZ! think about the people that come from hong kong and will see their family maybe twice a year! you could commute to uni from your house! get a grip..
Reply 11
sc8880
Thanks :smile: And yeah I suppose you're right. Im now going to UEA, which is slightly better than anglia ruskin! My best friends taking a gap year you see and I suppose I like the idea of putting it off for another year to travel with her but maybe it'll just make me more nervous when September 2010 comes...did you not go to uni then? x


also i have a few friends going there this year. they are great bunch of people so cant go wrong there :yep:
Reply 12
sticky tape
congratulations on the grades but seriously are you joking? you're worrying about being just a few miles from your family? i'm moving to london in september and i'll be 2000 miles from friends, family and boyfriend of two years!! JEEZ! think about the people that come from hong kong and will see their family maybe twice a year! you could commute to uni from your house! get a grip..


Its not just that, I'm quite an unconfident person and feel happy here and the thought of moving away from where im happy scares me. Im quite unconfident when meeting new people and have only just turned 18 so im not used to going out clubbing etc. I just feel a year will give me the time I need to grow up a bit and get some much needed confidence.
Sorry why don't you wanna leave?

You'll have to do it someday and it can be boring going to uni in the same place, with the same friends.
Reply 14
Congrats on the grades... could of done better tho lol

I say if you KNOW ur are not ready for uni then plan aternative plans for the coming year asap.

Only do this if you are really sure and can use your time away from education productively.

I was meant to go back in 2007 but went in through clearing, went to a rubbish uni (well IMO it was) did a crap course and the dropped out 2 weeks later. Looking back and how i was and my mindset I know now that back then i wasnt ready for uni at all. Im going next month now after a 2 year gap and im a hell of a lot more ready for uni then i was back then.
sc8880

I just know my parents will say 'what if you cant get a job?' etc...which I suppose is true, I just know deep down I dont feel at all ready and i really dont want to go feeling unconfident and scared.

You'll be able to find work, but you must accept it might be very rubbish work. On my gap year I couldn't easily apply for any good office jobs because I really only wanted to work for a few months. I had to do a mix of bar/kitchen work and temp jobs through an agency. So just bear that in mind - you'll be able to earn the money, but some of the stuff you do might not exactly be fun.
Also some times of the year are worse off for jobs than others (nevermind in a recession)
One of my temp office jobs had to let me go a few months early because business dried up. This was the same time (June) as people were coming home from Uni for the summer and taking the jobs, so I had no luck with agencies. Got to the point where I started going into every shop on the High street with a large pack of printed out CVs (which fortunately resulted in a few offers)
So be warned :p:

Also if you want to be near home in the future, maybe look at London Universities for next year? I hate London, personally, but at least its 50mins on extremely regular trains from Cambridge (you were looking at ARU so I assume you live here...)
sc8880
Its not just that, I'm quite an unconfident person and feel happy here and the thought of moving away from where im happy scares me. Im quite unconfident when meeting new people and have only just turned 18 so im not used to going out clubbing etc. I just feel a year will give me the time I need to grow up a bit and get some much needed confidence.


i can understand that.. it is scary moving away but like someone said you are going to have to do it sometime and what better way than to a uni that's right on your doorstep? you'll feel close enough to home that you won't feel totally alone yet you'll have enough independence to be able to start living your own life and make friends!
honestly clubbing is not the be all and end all of uni life.. if that's not your scene then don't worry, you won't be the only one who feels that way, trust me!

if you really absolutely feel that you cannot go then don't but remember that even though you have good grades, each year more and more people are getting them as well and so your chances of getting into the uni you want may be lower! i suggest you go.. if you feel lonely then go back to your family on weekends for the first few months but dont waste this opportunity! and try to keep things in perspective.. you might feel like you're going to be the only one without friends but remember that everyone is in the same boat.. everyone is just starting out and everyone will have to make new friends from scratch.. you'll be the one with the advantage because you'll already know the city! think of it that way..

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