I am so scared about going to University

Being that I was bullied for 2 years at college and developed social anxiety and depression as a result I feel sick about the though of going to University in 5 weeks.
After passing college I decided to take a year out to get my head straight and conquer my anxiety and depression, as I have not managed to do this I have this sense of dread.
In my year out for the past year I got a job and have worked 5 days a week, but I somehow I lost my social life and girlfriend, as all my mates and GF went to Uni which left me alone for a year.
I have been clubbing 5 times in the past year and probably been the pub 10 times and I don't like it like I used to.
Due to all this everything about Uni scares me but I wish it didn't. I am nervous about, lectures, making friends, living with people, being outcasted etc.
Has anyone else been like this or knows what I am saying?

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Reply 1

milan5baros

Everyone is going to be nervous-don't worry! :smile:

Also remember everyone is in the same boat and will be looking to meet new friends so you shouldn't have any problems there!

Reply 2

_MaThs_

Yeah, I feel alone already as I live in London and going to live alone in Conventry (far away) and really nervous and frustrated about everything.. student finance not going well, and I don't want to feel alone for 3 years because I doubt I'll be able to study and work to the best of my ability.

But anyway, there is no need to say all this because that's life :biggrin:

. Just try to stay happy and be friendly which I'm sure you'll be able to make lots of friends and get used to the environment of the university.

Good luck x

Reply 3

Ronar

I suffer from anxiety problems too, it's more like I'm fine for weeks then I get an attack and I feel contsantly stressed for the next 3-4 weeks.

I'm not worried about university, but I know the feeling of being anxious about something. What works for me is trying to think about the 'good' things such as it's a fresh start etc, rather than 'i'm going to turn up, fall over in front of everyone, make no friends and hide in my room all year'

And if you get spiralling thoughts which stress you out then imagine the stress and imagine you breaking it down in your head, it sounds weird but it really works!

Honestly, try not to worry. I know it doesn't help when people say that but think about how good uni will be and practice counting to 10 when you feel stressed etc

:smile:

Reply 4

TBS

Yeah totally, I changed schools after GCSE and a lot of people didn't like me and it really got to me. They thought I was mean/evil etc. In reality I was just so shy I didn't speak to anyone. I'm scared this will carry through to uni. I was put in counciling but after the first session I refused to go back because the counciler wanted to know my medical history and why I go to the doctor.... I'm not enthused with discussing those reasons with a stranger.

Try reading "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" the chaplin at my school referred me to it. It has a nice outlook on life which has changed a lot of people's lives. I guess I should re- read it!

Reply 5

berrylover

ur not the only person that is nervous as the time is getting closer im starting think that maybe i sud just stay at home cause i know that ill be homesick. but i think that everyone feels that way and plus i dont even go out that much but u have the chance to re invent ur self at uni

Reply 6

sophie_c

Aw don't worry! I'm sure once you get to uni it will be absolutely fine! I was terrified that I wouldn't make any friends at university (i am very shy and nervous, and have social anxiety), as I knew nobody else starting st st andrews, but really, it was absolutely fine! Nearly everyone is going not knowing anyone, all youu need to do is go out and make sure you meet some people, talk to people you meet in lectures etc. Are you staying in halls? If so thats a great way to meet people, if not you may need to make more of an effort to get out and about meeting new people, but you should still be fine. And take part in as many freshers events as possible :smile:

Maybe join facebook groups etc for your uni, and speak to some other freshers also starting at Coventry this year, then you'll maybe know some people before starting and be able to meet up once you've started uni.

but yeh, please don't worry too much, Uni is great fun, relax, and enjoy yourself! :smile:

If any of you guys has any qus about uni life etc, feel free to ask!

Reply 7

sophie_c

berrylover

Don't worry too much, I thought I'd be homesick, but now St Andrews has come to be like a second home to me! When I'm there I love it, but miss home, when I'm home I miss St Andrews badly!

One word of advice though, when you go to uni in september, try not to go back home till the Christmas holidays...I know some people who kept going home at weekends etc, and it just made it even harder for them, making them miss home more... After you've been away completely for about 3 months, you'll be fine :smile:

Thanks everyone

People are generally quite friendly at uni. Whether you're able to forge lasting friendships however is a different matter.

Reply 10

little_green

Like everyone has said, don't worry too much about uni. Everyone will be in the same boat. I was reasonably socially anxious when I first started and although it took a good few weeks to get into the swing of it, it really helped my confidence. Just smile and be natural friendly - no need to be massively outgoing and extroverted if you're not normally - and there will be no reason for people to look down on you.
As you've had a full time job for the last year, I bet you're probably more confident than you think too.

Reply 11

Madeleine_Marie

Thing is that a lot of people will be nervous (not all of them sound as nervous as you do admittedly) It is hard felling 'left behind' but think about this, hundreds and hundreds of people attend uni's. There will be hundreds of people at your uni. that means hundreds of possibilities! You are probably a lovely person who is just very shy, it's highly unlikey that someone as nervous as you is going to be horrible to people. ANd i know a HELL of a lot of people who are nasty pieces of work who have friends. so if horrible people can get friends, you'll sail through. There'll be other people who suffer from anxiety problems and depression, you won't be alone. Just ignores those butterflies and say hello to as many people as you can!

Good Luck
Maxxi

Reply 12

Hippysnake

_MaThs_

. Just try to stay happy and be friendly which I'm sure you'll be able to make lots of friends and get used to the environment of the university.

Good luck x

Coventry!? Oh you poor poor thing....how in the hell did you end up here?

Reply 13

just say hello

just grow up, no1 knows eachother, stop being a 5 year old and be nice and friendly, problem solved.

Reply 14

KerryHarris

You'll be fine :smile:

I'm scared too, but think about all the opps you're going to get at Uni! And remember, a lot of people are feeling exactly the same as you. Just take it easy and go with the flow for a bit.

Reply 15

_MaThs_

Hippysnake

Coventry!? Oh you poor poor thing....how in the hell did you end up here?

Is it really that bad moving away? :frown:

It's only like 1 hour and a half by train back to London? you better give me hope because I'm already getting worried about moving to Warwick alone :p:

Reply 16

Hippysnake

_MaThs_

Is it really that bad moving away? :frown:

It's only like 1 hour and a half by train back to London? you better give me hope because I'm already getting worried about moving to Warwick alone :p:

No, I'm just saying Coventry is a horrible place...I should know, I live there.

Reply 17

etherealgrace

_MaThs_

Is it really that bad moving away? :frown:

It's only like 1 hour and a half by train back to London? you better give me hope because I'm already getting worried about moving to Warwick alone :p:

Pretty much everyone is goign to be "alone". it's not like you are unique.

Reply 18

Altruistic1

_MaThs_

I'm already getting worried about moving to Warwick alone :p:

We're all in the same boat tbh... I'm sure you won't be feeling as lonely as you think. Warwick Uni seems amazing and from what I've heard and experienced (at the open day) the people are generally nice and friendly.

Reply 19

Altruistic1

Hippysnake

No, I'm just saying Coventry is a horrible place...I should know, I live there.

Struck me as being very under-developed to be honest with you, but still Warwick Uni has pretty much everything one would need.. and then there's Birmingham's Bullring 20 minutes away and Stratford nearby. You can't really go wrong being in the centre of England... can you? :tongue: