The Student Room Group
Reply 1
do wou want to stay mates with him>?

go out enjoy yourself, get your mates round have a huge party/sleepover/great night out!

KEEP YOURSELF OCCUPIED!
Reply 2
Yeah, just hang around lots with your friends and keep busy by going out, going to your friends houses, going to the cinema etc. If you've got nothing to do, you're more likely to sit around thinking about him.

Also, keep reminding yourself that it is for the best.
Reply 3
P-A-R-T-Y!!! :biggrin: And remember plenty more fish in the sea!!
Reply 4
Hi little.rebel.L,

Sorry to hear. Although it must be upsetting, you said it's for the best - keep thinking that it is, and try to move on from it. Maybe staying friends with him?

If I were in your situ, I'd try to do the things I enjoy most - listening to a bit of music, do a bit of writing/art, watch a little tele, go out for a bit. There are quite a lot of things you could do, but trying to put it behind you by forgetting may not be the best way. I guess you have to look at it head on and try to get over it by confirming it's for the best and there are much better prospects ahead perhaps.

It'll take time, but I'm sure you'll feel better soon :smile:

Best of luck, take care
I got dumped by bf of 2 years for uni and i cried for days. It's best jusy to get it all out your system and try not to talk to him. cause it'll just make it harder. After a week or so. i wrote the longest letter to him which i had no intention of ever sending but i got all my feelings out and i felt much much better. I read it now and it's makes me giggle. lol. And DON'T do the rebound thing. It's the worse idea ever!
Reply 6
little.rebel.L
well my bf of two years just broke up with me. although i see this as for the best.. ultimately it sucks and is really painful.

any "get over it" tips???



i really feel for you and even though you probably want to stay friends with this guy. it's best to keep your space at first to get over it, this stops those messy encounters to where you both will say things you'd rather not. then after be friends some of my closest friends are ex's. but in the mean time party have friends over. :wink: you'll be fine.
Reply 7
go out with your bestest girly mates and get smashed... it's the best way. and if any of them see you looking miserable they have to drag you onto the dancefloor and feed you vodka. oh and it's best if one of them stays at your house/ you stay at theirs afterwards so you don't ring him up totally of your head or so you don't go home and cry cos you're far too drunk.

lou xxx
Reply 8
what really helped me was to imagine my ex as a cartoon ---> i know it sounds stupid but it kind of takes it away from reality and when you think of him just the cartoon comes into your head, and strangely my pain was less

really worked for me :smile:


other than that i live by the rule:

It takes a man to get over a man!
Reply 9
I say let it out. NEVER bottle it up - do whatever you need to to get it out. In my case it was cry and cry and cry and cry. I didn't actually talk about it much. It was the worst pain I'd felt in ages and still can't imagine anything worse, even though I know there are worse things.

Keep your distance for a while until you're at least ok about the break up. If you got any questions or doubts I say ask him to his face and get a straight answer. It's what I did - anything I wanted to ask, I asked him. While some answers were really rather shocking and painful, it was good knowing, and it really helped me get over him. Don't let yourself doubt at all - any questions: ask it.

And look on the bright side - I remembered I constantly reminded myself that it was the right thing to do. It was for the best and I knew it was the truth - so I kept reminding myself it. Although I also let myself question and cry my heart out when I needed to. I remember cus my ex was at Cambridge, my Cambridge rejection was almost like "the final straw" - but that came on New Year's Eve - so I thought: that's one crappy winter 2004 - let's start a new year 2005! I rounded it all up and told myself it's over until it finally was over for me, emotionally. The trick is accept that it's over - then you'll gradually get over it.

I also told myself I'll find a lovely guy at uni :biggrin: and I began to see that it really was for the best that I broke up with the guy :smile:

Give yourself time - it's ok to take time. It took my 6 months - and you realise you really have got over him when suddenly it doesn't matter anymore and you feel all light and peaceful and you're not deliberately avoiding him anymore. And you start to forget the details :biggrin: Sometimes I think I'm gonna forget my ex's birthday lol!
definately let it all out, and then eat some of your favourite foods etc. if you have a close mate or two then have them over for the day to cry to, and then go out in the night to cheer you up. and also write it all down - it helps so much.
remember - you WILL get over it, even if it doesnt feel like it right now. i promise.
Do everything you wanted to do. Reassess your goal. Search for the hero inside yourself :wink:
Reply 12
Whenever I split up with someone, my mum and I have a good old bitch about him! Shopping also helps! x x x
Reply 13
yeah, buy yourself something special or something...when i broke up with my ex i got my hair cut and bought new smellies and fake tan and felt gorgeous!
Since my boyfriend dumped me I have spent over £150 on retail theropy, got drunk whenever I could, hung with mates, gone to the cinema and alsorts. None of it really worked and I'm down loads of money just to top it off :mad: . So I talked to him for the first time in ages the other day and found out things that I needed to know. It helped a bit as he told me things I didn't want to hear from him but it helped to as he was being honest with me.
Problem is no one can tell you how to do this as people deal with things differently. Just do what you think is right okay. Thats all you can do really. Hope you get over him soon. I know how you feel right now. If you want to PM me about it to let off some steam feel free to do so ok hunny :hugs: .
Reply 15
little.rebel.L
well my bf of two years just broke up with me. although i see this as for the best.. ultimately it sucks and is really painful.

any "get over it" tips???


awww.... have a hug! best thing is to keep yourself occupied and if your best friend has a great bf, stay away from them for a while. any single friends you have will be better companions for a while probably (not necessarily)
lessthanthree
cry, mope, hit pillows and be a bitch for a week.

then pull yourself out of bed and get distracted.

possibly with retail therapy :ninja:


Exactly what I did!!!

Just treat yourself to whatever you want...If you want to eat ice cream and chocolate then eat it. When my long term relationship ended I didn't feel like eating anything but crisp sandwiches so that is what I ate despite normally eating really well. I went shopping and treated myself to new clothes. I went out and tried to have fun. I didn't always work (for example I can't tell you the plot of various films and plays I saw that week!! lol) but it was better than being on my own in bed.

Although all of this was 6 months ago I still am not over it...I get upset about it all at least once a week but I feel this is ok. One thing is that I would advise you not to rebound because it will probably just make things more difficult in the long term..

Just take things as they come and try to have some fun!!!

Oh and I have actually felt it has been good to keep in some contact with him as it has helped me to know what he has been feeling and going through as well...It might or might not work for you but really everyone is differen!!!
Reply 17
I feel the exact same, split with boyfriend a couple of days ago...and although its for the best, its really upsetting me..i knew him for 5 years, was very good friends for 4 years and went out for one year..
Its killing me because ive lost the friendship aswell..i care for him alot and he means the world to me, but it just wasnt meant to be...

I can't even concentrate on revision because of it..

Sorry i haven't really been much help...As they say time is the best healer..
Fiza
I feel the exact same, split with boyfriend a couple of days ago...and although its for the best, its really upsetting me..i knew him for 5 years, was very good friends for 4 years and went out for one year..
Its killing me because ive lost the friendship aswell..i care for him alot and he means the world to me, but it just wasnt meant to be...

I can't even concentrate on revision because of it..

Sorry i haven't really been much help...As they say time is the best healer..


At first I was terrified that I had lost my best friend but now 6 months on we get on great as friends (despite that fact that I still want to be with him and I still love him but thats a small technicality) so maybe over time your friendship might be restored (although I don't actually know what kind of break up you had...)

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