[Anonymous]

About a year ago, me and a school nurse had a sexual relationship which lasted about 6-8 months (I'm a guy). I was in year 11 at the time. She always used to say she would never leave me. When the time came I left school for college. Then she just left me and never really spoke to me after as if nothing had ever happened between us.

It was as if she was using me to keep herself "sexually satisfied". I feel as if I have been touched up and used, and there was never really any love. This really worries me because although I was responsible for my own actions, I feel I was sexually abused in a way. This was a year ago but I am still in contact with that person although she doesn't really want anything to do with me anymore, I send her a text every now and then which she replies to.

My point is, this has depressed me really badly and no one knows about this apart from me and that person. I feel disgusted about what we did and I think we never should have done it. Should I confess what we did to the school? Or should I talk to my therapist about this situation? Will my therapist tell police if I told her? There is a 25 year age gap between us so she's not young lol... Would she get into trouble for being with someone underage?

I'm so confused don't really know what to say, any advice would be good. Thanks guys

[Blablaablaaa]

No **** she would get in trouble for being with someone under age.

[*Joanna*]

Teachers get jailed for similar offences, or at the very least get sacked and are unable to find another job. You need to think very carefully about whether you tell anyone about it (bar your therapist- they may be bound by patient confidentiality) because it could have serious repercussions for the both of you. What she did is wrong though.

[sil3nt_cha0s]

Please tell me which school you go to

[ozzyoscy]

I would imagine if you told the police then she would be on the sex offenders register, lose her job obviously and her career.

The choice is yours then. If you feel she has forced you to do sex in some way or that she took advantage of you, perhaps you feel she pretended there was love just for sex rather than had sex with you but then talked about love and relationships, maybe you should tell.

Also if you feel you were underage mentally.

Also I would say in a few years' time the pain/depression should be gone when you realize you weren't in love with her or anything and you just got attached. It will be even easier if you have a girlfriend now or in time.

So yah, keep in mind that if you tell the police, you are saying she is a paedophile and/or a rapist. If you don't feel she is and she's just helping those horny 15 year olds live the dream, then you'll move on fine without getting into all that hassle of the police, statements, court etc.

If you feel she's preying on them, taking advantage for her own selfish reasons then perhaps you should.

[ciawhobat]

Sort your **** out, you pussy. Ruining someone's life like that won't make you feel any better about it at all.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

It was as if she was using me to keep herself "sexually satisfied".

What a crime.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I feel disgusted about what we did and I think we never should have done it.

Why are you disgusted by it?

[tonberry]

Pussy

[Teofilo]

So you banged your school nurse for six months+ and are now considering spilling the beans, which would almost certainly throw her life into freefall?

You absolute ****.

[Hello_Kitty]

She kind of deserves to have her life ruined for sexually abusing someone underage.

[tom//]

she put her own life and career on the edge when she chose to **** someone who was underage when she was in a position of trust

if you feel its contributed to your depression, yes, tell someone

[ozzyoscy]

Originally Posted by Teofilo

So you banged your school nurse for six months+ and are now considering spilling the beans, which would almost certainly throw her life into freefall?

You absolute ****.

Although I disagree that when someone turns 16 they immediately know about sex, right from wrong, and it's their fault if they have sex then regret it, I would say telling someone you're going to have a relationship with them and/or using love just to shag someone is certainly wrong.

It's just a matter of opinion whether it's that big a deal and whether it's ok to do it to a 25 year old but not a 15 year old.

[yellofeeva]

personally if i was in your position it would be one of my favourite stories to tell the lads at the pub, maybe to the grandchildren in the future. bravo!

[Guy Secretan]

what did you actually get up to

[saster]

The Sex Offenders Register is there to protect the vulnerable from the predatory. A 16yo boy is exceptionally unlikely to feel on an equal footing with a school nurse, and if she initiated the sexual conduct then she did so knowing precisely what her status was over you and that what she did was an act of the powerful over the subordinate. Obviously for you there was the high of getting your rocks off with a willing female, which has quite a premium for any 16yo boy, but it is now you who is suffering from depression, you who made an emotional investment you weren't ready for and which was not returned. If she did not sexually abuse you, she unequivocally abused the position of authority she had and it happens she used sex as her means of doing so. She almost certainly is unfit to work in a position where she might do it again - and indeed she may well be now, may well be continuing a pattern of quiet exploitation that has gone on since before you were born, for all you know - and if you reported her and she lost her job over it you would probably be doing everyone a favour.

[ciawhobat]

This is basically like a woman having willing sex with someone and then deciding, years later, that she'd rather she hadn't done that, and so considering accusing the man of rape.

[hannah_dru]

I don't know how you can say that you feel you were sexually abused because you consented to it.

[angel_with_horns]

Originally Posted by hannah_dru

I don't know how you can say that you feel you were sexually abused because you consented to it.

If he was under 16 he would not have been able to give valid consent. However OP, you are a bit of a pussy. Admit you liked it

[invictus_veritas]

I don't think you should report it simply because I don't think she did anything wrong that a lot of teenage girls wouldn't have done. Girls use guys, guys use girls it's the way of the world and it happens at all ages.

She violated legal codes etc but ultimately you got used by a girl and it will happen many times in your life. What she did was legally and morally wrong, but I don't think she was taking advantage of you in a particularly bad way: it's bad that you were taken advantage of, but similarly plenty of teenage girls would do exactly the same and if you are stupid enough to start a relationship up with someone like that then it is your own fault and it's just a shame the law doesn't see it that way.

If you need to see a therapist for the effect this relationship has had on you then you are nowhere near mature enough to cope with any form of relationship be it romantic or otherwise and the same goes for if this relationship is having a major negative effect on you. I think you are making this relationship seem like an unnatural cause of your emotional issues, which really come from something else somewhere else and the fact that any teenage girl could have made you feel like this means that the nurse hasn't hurt you in a way that someone your own age wouldn't and I think the fact that she could go to jail for that is so wrong.

You are old enough to make your own decisions and should be mature enough to know that a sexual relationship with a school nurse is a terrible idea. The media and public would no doubt portray her as some evil predator who preys on teenage boys but I really don't agree with it. I knew people involved in the recent CLSG case where the 15 year old girl had a sexual relationship with a music teacher and they genuinely loved each other - or at least it seems that way.

[LabyrinthWonder]

I think that you should go by your gut instinct and tell your therapist, provided that there is a client confidentiality protection rule, so that this school nurse won't get into trouble. However if you wish for her to be punished you should report to the police but before you do that ask yourself this question:

Is the only reason you are reporting her because she has left you and isn't talking to you anymore and you're using the excuse that she only banged you to be "sexually satisfied" as an excuse to cover up your pain and hurt?

Think on it.

All the best and tell us how it goes.

[supersteiger]

If this was a 40 year old male member of staff and a 15 year old girl, everyone would call him a pervert. Women are just as capable of sexual abuse as men.