Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
Ok, so, I guess this isn't specifically "health and relationships", but I think it fits into this category more than others. I am a year 13 student, almost 18, I think of myself as physically attractive, intelligent, and good at talking to people and socializing (I don't want to come across as really arrogant, as I think of it as confidence,). I have kissed a few girls at parties, etc but have never been in a relationship, and therefore, I don't have that experience that comes with it. At the moment, I would say there is one, possibly two girls that I am interested in, and who I think are interested in me.
Even though as aforementioned I have kissed girls, to be honest this is the first time where I have been in a position where there are girls that I both find attractive and more importantly get on with. One who I have spoken to 2 or 3 times, and the other who I have spoken to once (so really early days). I asked my friend who is a girl and is a couple of years older than me about asking numbers, and she said that asking for it the first time you meet someone was coming on too keen, and it's best to wait, find something happening, and then ask. Add to that my own personal preference for wanting to make sure there is a connection before I ask for a number, and I like to think I am doing the right thing in taking the decision in deciding to wait till I have spoken to either girl a few times, and then finding something to do and asking for a number. I just believe you have to do what feels right.
Am I going about this the right way? any advice?
It's not really a big massive problem, just a little reassurance needed from someone not so experienced in these matters
you won't come off as keen if you ask casually, just start talking and ask if she wants to do something and get her number. ask her if she's up for something and when you're out, then find out if you have a connection.
The thing is right, you want to get to know this girl, so you dont want to get her number straight away and text her ALL the time, but my advice would be take it gentle, im in yr13 as well and relationships are out of question for me as i am blates going to uni and will have my fun there but saying that, you dont want to waste time, therefore it would be cool to get in there, wait like 2 more weeks, go out a few times,then drop it a few week after, so by..... december you will have one of those chicks as a girlfriend if you play your cards right .
The thing is right, you want to get to know this girl, so you dont want to get her number straight away and text her ALL the time, but my advice would be take it gentle, im in yr13 as well and relationships are out of question for me as i am blates going to uni and will have my fun there but saying that, you dont want to waste time, therefore it would be cool to get in there, wait like 2 more weeks, go out a few times,then drop it a few week after, so by..... december you will have one of those chicks as a girlfriend if you play your cards right .
Thanks for the answer but you could you possibly elaborate. So you mean, wait like 2 more weeks to ask for a number? and by drop it you meant 'ask out?
I asked my friend who is a girl and is a couple of years older than me about asking numbers, and she said that asking for it the first time you meet someone was coming on too keen, and it's best to wait, find something happening, and then ask.
Once again more evidence that you don't listen to women with regards to getting women...........there is NO problem with getting the number the first time you meet a woman. If she likes you that much (and believe me, women are hot at working out which guys they like), she isn't gonna waste time NOT giving you the number.
One thing you probably don't appreciate is that if you like the girl, there's some other dude on the scene that feels EXACTLY the same way. So why wait for him to get first refusal?
Add to that my own personal preference for wanting to make sure there is a connection before I ask for a number, and I like to think I am doing the right thing in taking the decision in deciding to wait till I have spoken to either girl a few times, and then finding something to do and asking for a number. I just believe you have to do what feels right.
See here, your mindset is set towards trying not to lose, as opposed to going for the win. You're sitting there coming up with all sorts of reasons as to why she might say no. So what if she says no?
Your attitude is gonna hold you back if you don't kick this habit.
Once again more evidence that you don't listen to women with regards to getting women...........there is NO problem with getting the number the first time you meet a woman. If she likes you that much (and believe me, women are hot at working out which guys they like), she isn't gonna waste time NOT giving you the number.
One thing you probably don't appreciate is that if you like the girl, there's some other dude on the scene that feels EXACTLY the same way. So why wait for him to get first refusal?
See here, your mindset is set towards trying not to lose, as opposed to going for the win. You're sitting there coming up with all sorts of reasons as to why she might say no. So what if she says no?
Your attitude is gonna hold you back if you don't kick this habit.
******* hell, thats true. Ok, thats the first time in ages that someone really made me think about the way I am going about things, and how it may be wrong. So, you would say, next time I see either of the girls, ask for their number?
******* hell, thats true. Ok, thats the first time in ages that someone really made me think about the way I am going about things, and how it may be wrong. So, you would say, next time I see either of the girls, ask for their number?
You could do that...........just pay attention when/anytime they're chatting and an opportunity will arise where it makes logical sense to get their number. Or get 'em out for coffee one afternoon/evening/night. Either way, when this happens give them your 'phone and tell them to put their number in your 'phone. (Missed calling them so they have your number is optional).
You could do that...........just pay attention when/anytime they're chatting and an opportunity will arise where it makes logical sense to get their number. Or get 'em out for coffee one afternoon/evening/night. Either way, when this happens give them your 'phone and tell them to put their number in your 'phone. (Missed calling them so they have your number is optional).
hope that helps.....................
Yeah, it does. Just one more thing, would you say this type of thing is a tough learning process which everyone has to go through? and also, considering I'm only almost 18, will I get loads and loads more chances?
Yeah, it does. Just one more thing, would you say this type of thing is a tough learning process which everyone has to go through? and also, considering I'm only almost 18, will I get loads and loads more chances?
I wouldn't say it's tough................but yes and yes. The more you do it, the more you learn WHEN to do it, and HOW to do it, and the more you see spots which most men won't/don't.
I wouldn't say it's tough................but yes and yes. The more you do it, the more you learn WHEN to do it, and HOW to do it, and the more you see spots which most men won't/don't.
Ok, thanks, I appreciate these insights. So let's say you've got her number, and she's got yours, would you say just text a few days after asking if she wants to meet for a coffee? or is calling better? when it comes to texting/calling, I've heard different things from different guy. Some have said it looks desperate if you make the first move, but I think that surely it's better if you make the first move, its shows your interested and self assured. what do you think?
Ok, thanks, I appreciate these insights. So let's say you've got her number, and she's got yours, would you say just text a few days after asking if she wants to meet for a coffee? or is calling better? when it comes to texting/calling, I've heard different things from different guy. Some have said it looks desperate if you make the first move, but I think that surely it's better if you make the first move, its shows your interested and self assured. what do you think?
It's basically read-dependent (i.e how much she's feeling you etc........). Really you should call her first, and only text her to give her directions/send dirty messages after you've had sex with her. Also don't leave it too long (i.e within 36 hours at the most). You meet a girl Wednesday night, call her up sometime Thursday, meet her for coffee later on in the week/early the next week, get her life story.
The rest................well, it's all trial and error!
It's basically read-dependent (i.e how much she's feeling you etc........). Really you should call her first, and only text her to give her directions/send dirty messages after you've had sex with her. Also don't leave it too long (i.e within 36 hours at the most). You meet a girl Wednesday night, call her up sometime Thursday, meet her for coffee later on in the week/early the next week, get her life story.
The rest................well, it's all trial and error!
Ok fair enough. But, I mean, don't you care about more than just having sex, like, don't you care about a connection, or a proper relationship? I'm not rejecting your advice or anything, just wondering?. Also, are you really sure it's that easy? and that all girls respond to this?
Ok fair enough. But, I mean, don't you care about more than just having sex, like, don't you care about a connection, or a proper relationship? I'm not rejecting your advice or anything, just wondering?. Also, are you really sure it's that easy? and that all girls respond to this?
To answer your first questions, yes I care about more than sex , but my "yes I would like to **** her" range is wider than my "she can be my girlfriend" range............and unless you are THAT hot/unique/swaggalicious/have confirmed sex skills it's gonna be hard to find women that will have sex with you without that connection.
Relationships........meh. I literally meet 1 (ONE) girl a year that I would have a relationship with, but more than one girl a month that wants sex with me. So i'm screwed on that scale. But not to worry..........
Not all women are easy. But once you know what you are doing it becomes easy, once you recognise and meet the women that are feeling you. If you take one thing away, it's that women do the choosing. Once you accept this truth, your life becomes a whole lot easier.........
And of course it ain't gonna work with all women. That's why you don't run up on women at random. You get to know them, find out if you have that connection with them, the rest is up to you. I think the confusion arises from the belief that it takes a long while. You can find out everything you need to know (about whether you want to take things further) just by sitting down with a woman for a couple of hours, assuming no distractions and that you are asking the right questions (and listening to her).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily advocating a life of chasing pussy (a couple of years maybe). I'm all for giving you options in your dealings with women, so you can concentrate on the really important things in life.
after reading this conversation i've decided that you're so cute.
i dont think i know any boy who has put this much thought into this, or maybe they do and i just dont know, which is most probably the case.
the advice you have been given is good, go with it, but bear in mind that girls are insane. we are all insane. if she rejects you dont take that as every girl ever will reject you and you should never ask for a number again. take it as shes having an off day/ is on her period/ has joined a cult.
after reading this conversation i've decided that you're so cute.
i dont think i know any boy who has put this much thought into this, or maybe they do and i just dont know, which is most probably the case.
the advice you have been given is good, go with it, but bear in mind that girls are insane. we are all insane. if she rejects you dont take that as every girl ever will reject you and you should never ask for a number again. take it as shes having an off day/ is on her period/ has joined a cult.
and good luck let us know how it goes
Lol, I hate it when girls say that!, but don't worry it's cool. I'm going to start asking for the number of every girl I meet who I like and seems to like me. Would you agree about the 'calling a couple of days after' thing as well?
Lol, I hate it when girls say that!, but don't worry it's cool. I'm going to start asking for the number of every girl I meet who I like and seems to like me. Would you agree about the 'calling a couple of days after' thing as well?
i would agree with most of his advice too =)
calling after a few days? just do whatever feels right not set some deadline like "ill always call them X days after i get the number" >.<
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
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asking for girls numbers?
but saying that, you dont want to waste time, therefore it would be cool to get in there, wait like 2 more weeks, go out a few times,then drop it a few week after, so by..... december you will have one of those chicks as a girlfriend if you play your cards right .
, but my "yes I would like to **** her" range is wider than my "she can be my girlfriend" range............and unless you are THAT hot/unique/swaggalicious/have confirmed sex skills it's gonna be hard to find women that will have sex with you without that connection. 
