Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
Recently I just feel really unhappy.
I've had interviews at a couple of unis, and this has made me miss a few days of college. I find that I can't catch up and have gotten a U, E, and two C's on recent tests.
This just makes me feel really useless and down, since I am normally a good student.
I'm also just completely stressed out about everything else. I have so much stuff to do and a lot of pressure to try and get into Cambridge, which I don't even care about anymore.
The worst and most pathetic part is that I keep crying or almost crying. It's actually ridiculous. Last night I had so much work that I was awake until 4, and I cried for ages. Then today, I just couldn't do any of my homework to hand in and very nearly burst into tears (don't laugh). I was also trying really really hard not to cry when I couldn't understand any work in my other lessons. I know I sound like a troll but i'm not even joking. I'm not usually such a baby, and I never ever cry, so I don't know why I can't help it now.
My dad is also in hospital at the minute and my mum said she is afraid he might die. This is just adding to the stress.
I feel like I want to just curl up in bed all day and not leave my room for a month.
I'm sorry about your dad, I hope he gets better. As for stressing about Cambridge, if you don't even want to go any more, just forget it! Do as well as you possibly can, but don't let it become the be-all-and-end-all for everyone else either
Talk to you tutors at college/school and see if you can get an extension on the work, explain how you've fallen behind a little bit due to your interviews and go through it in your own time?
Stress is horrid. Firstly accept that you are stressed and that you can trace this to specific life events. Look at ways you can manage your stress - working out a new study timetable, getting someone to tutor you etc, having someone to talk to about what's going on in your life. Finally, don't be too hard on yourself.
Maybe find someone who you can talk to about all this. If not your parents, maybe another relative, or someone who works at college? It's good to cry, but talking to someone who will listen and give advice sometimes feels so relieving.
The situation with your father could quite easily take a much stronger effect on you than you might realise; don't put yourself under too much pressure and just do what you feel comfortable with right now.
Explain yourself to the teachers if necessary and as has been said, your previous track record shows that you will find your feet and get back to where you want to be.
Whether that is Cambridge or not is up to you, but I would imagine that your mind is probably all over the place right now due to the stress and so keep an open mind and see how you feel in time.
During sixth form I was actually crying every day for various reasons, I can understand how you're feeling.
Try talking your problems through with someone, honestly even if it doesn't solve anything directly it can take some weight off your shoulders.
Talk to the teachers about the tests and the work you missed whilst at interviews, if you're struggling now you don't want to get even more behind. Although as you said you're normally a good student I'm sure you'll be fine =)
Make sure you take breaks between all the things you need to do to just relax, building up all that stress will just make you feel worse! You need to think about yourself, not just deadlines or whatever. Treat yourself to something, take a break to go out with friends, watch a film you like etc etc =)
I know how you feel. I've felt like just curling up in a ball and crying all day today. My life just seems like such a mess atm. Things will get better, just give it time.
You need to speak to your teachers, or your personal tutor (who can tell your other teachers) and make them aware (you don't have to go into details) over the situation with your dad, then they will cut you a bit of slack and give you more time to do work and, also, if you tell them you need to help they can go over your tests and tell you where you're going wrong.
Chin up, the pressure is obviously getting to you, even if you think you're fine. A very similar situation happened for me, you need to give yourself a break. Don't stay awake til 4am, do what you can then go to bed and get a decent night's sleep - you will work better and feel more able to face the day. At the end of the day it's not the end of the world if your work is a little late.
I know how you feel (seems everyone does!) in sixth form my nan was diagnosed and died of cancer during only what seemed like a few months and my mum went to care for her and lets just say my dads not exactly a hands on parent - I do remember a very good cheese sandwich he made me when I found out she had died lol. I had work, school, driving lessons, my nan and previous depression worrying me then got into money trouble which made me feel even more of a failure.
Now in my final year at uni we found out my aunty/godmother only has months left, Ive developed panic attacks and anxiety, work is far harder than my previous 2 years and I have a bad condition so almost always have a headache or migraine and it takes me way longer to read/understand than it used to.
But somehow I dont feel like crying as much as I did just a month ago and I know from previous experience that when you reach the other side (and you will) youll be able to take problems on better.
I agree with Anonymous 2, that you should be proactive and devise a timetable, also talk to your teachers/head of year. Maybe go to the doctor and ask about counselling/mood management course? Its helped me. You have to stop living by I shoulds or I have to or This is what I havent done. You should concentrate on the positive things - feel good about what you have done and how much you can achieve in the face of it all.
I don't know, I can't just go up to all my teachers and say 'My dad's in hospital and may or may not be dead soon', they won't know what to say.
I'm crying right now, I have a lot of work and a huge test to revise for tomorrow and I can't cope. No-one's at home either because my siblings are at university and my mum is at the hospital.
This things have a habit of sorting themselves out. Crying won't really help anything I'm afraid so go make yourself a coffee, go for a walk/jog and you will feel much better. Even in our darkest times its important never to take life too seriously my friend...
x
That is a seriously patronising thing to say to someone who's dad might be dying.
I don't know, I can't just go up to all my teachers and say 'My dad's in hospital and may or may not be dead soon', they won't know what to say.
I'm crying right now, I have a lot of work and a huge test to revise for tomorrow and I can't cope. No-one's at home either because my siblings are at university and my mum is at the hospital.
Then talk just to your head of year and ask them to explain the situation to your teachers. You need to tell them so you can get the help to get through your school work, just say he's really ill, it is something you need to do soon.
Oh sweetheart, I'm really sorry to hear about everything you're going through, but really, honestly, don't give up, because things can and will get better, even if it doesn't look like they are going to.
How do I know? I went through almost the exact same thing this time last year.
I got great GCSEs and applied to Oxford. Everyone expected me to get in with no effort but work became a lot harder and my January module grades were awful; worse than yours, no joke.
My parents were divorced, we had no money, I had no friends at school and was too embarassed to find anyone else to talk to.
I spent most of October trying to collect enough drugs to OD and carving stupid things into my arms. If you're tempted to do this then please DON'T. It doesn't help and it will only make the downward spiral worse.
It probably feels like nothing will ever help you right now. I know this, I went through all of this.
The bad news is that it won't get easier right away. You won't just wake up one morning and think 'hey, all my problems have gone!', and seeing a Doctor/counsellor must seem like an excruciatingly embarassing idea - it did to me. I'd had counsellors before and lost faith in the whole thing.
But the point of this whole rambling story is that it is possible to get out of the hole you feel you're in right now, and to do it requires a lot of courage and a lot of work. But it is SO worth it.
First: Go outside. I don't know where you live but start cycling, or running, or just walking. It gives you a chance to rest and get away from the cramped desk and schoolroom.
Second: Find someone to talk to. I found a counsellor through my school system (didn't want to talk to the one in school). The first few sessions were awful; I just cried or sat in silence. But after a few tries it gets a little easier, then a little easier again.
Third: Learn something. And I don't mean schoolwork. Try something you've never done before. Find a weekend course, take up a new sport, if you can afford it go away during a school break. If you feel brave enough to do it alone, it's best. You can make a fresh start that way and realise that you are much stronger than you think you are, because courses like that make you face up to your fears.
It worked for me. I'm now at Oxford, with more friends than I've had in my entire life and doing a degree I love. My parents are on speaking terms again and my student loan means I don't have to worry so much about money.
Sound too good to be true? It's not. It's possible.
Good luck. You CAN do it.
If you want to talk at all send a reply and I'll give you an e-mail address to contact me (I'm using a friend's account, hence the anonymous sig).
That is a seriously patronising thing to say to someone who's dad might be dying.
Oh you know it wasn't meant like that. He was trying to tell the OP that tests, grades, exams, Cambridge aren't the most important things in the world, and there are other things that matter more.
Oh you know it wasn't meant like that. He was trying to tell the OP that tests, grades, exams, Cambridge aren't the most important things in the world, and there are other things that matter more.
Yes but in my opinion, telling someone life could be worse, especially when their dad could be dying isn't exactly a slick move.
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
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I can't stop crying.
