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Location: Ice Cap 03457F - Antartica/ Seal'y Scouser
Posts: 217
I can't "do" banter.
Hi all,
Socially, there's nothing which I can't handle - except "banter".
I mean, I barely know what it its - when I hear it I know it is - but I don't know how to respond, what it's for or anything. It completely eludes me. Especially when It's all lads, I can stick out a bit (no innuendo intended) because "banter" is something most men do with each-other. I've actually been explicitly told I can't "banter" once.
Y'know, taking the piss out of each other - "ripping into" each other. Saying things to friends which would otherwise quite possibly be offensive. Loose, nonsensical chat. I never do that, and I admit could probably make me seem bland. I dunno if thats even what it is?
How can I change it? What do I need to "learn" or unlearn? Am I just too serious?
I suppose I do banter with my friends a lot but we specifically make sure not to call it banter or "ripping into" each other because that's generally what the chavvy people say in our school.
Erm, if you can't do it, just tell them to shutup or something. It's no big deal, really.
Just get into 1 on 1 cussfights with mates? I dunno, i generally tend to be quiet in the group, much rather observe the insults that play out That and i get pretty tongue (and thought) tied
Banter is almost how men make friends, and I don't get it.
You don't make friends by going up to someone you don't know and taking the piss out of them - that's how you get a broken nose. Banter is something you do with established friends.. because they're not going to find the jokes you make about them offensive.
Well what is it? Can you describe it? Give an example?
Seriously, I function fine socially in every other context, I just don't get banter.
OK I'll give you an example of banter.
At a drinking society initiation earlier this week, one of my mates lasted a grand total of 15 minutes and 2 downed pints before spewing it up all over the hall floor and, in keeping with the rules of the society, having to lick it up (not all of it obviously but you get the idea).
Since this incident, our group have taken to nicknaming him "15" and frequently making a point of his being such a lightweight, to girls he tries to chat up, other mates, and whoever else wants to listen.
Socially, there's nothing which I can't handle - except "banter".
I mean, I barely know what it its - when I hear it I know it is - but I don't know how to respond, what it's for or anything. It completely eludes me. Especially when It's all lads, I can stick out a bit (no innuendo intended) because "banter" is something most men do with each-other. I've actually been explicitly told I can't "banter" once.
Y'know, taking the piss out of each other - "ripping into" each other. Saying things to friends which would otherwise quite possibly be offensive. Loose, nonsensical chat. I never do that, and I admit could probably make me seem bland. I dunno if thats even what it is?
How can I change it? What do I need to "learn" or unlearn? Am I just too serious?
I know exactly where you're coming from. A lot of the time i feel i'm too serious and it hinders me when i'm with my friends because whenever their joking around i feel a bit left out because i don't know how to respond and have to force a fake laugh.
I generally try to relax a bit more and tell myself mot to be so dry and boring. try and not be so uptight. whenever i have worries or problems on my mind my personality takes and hit because i'm preoccupied and tend to not to want to socialise.
so just try and block anything like that, look on the brightside of things and and go with the flow and loosen up. it should be quite easy to do things like that whenever you're with your friends because you probably should be more comfortable around them. sorry if i've gone off topic or anything. hope this helps
Discuss matters related to personal health and relationships in this forum. However, please keep it sensible and remember that people of all ages can view these forums. Remember, all advice is unprofessional.
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I can't "do" banter.
I dunno, i generally tend to be quiet in the group, much rather observe the insults that play out 
That and i get pretty tongue (and thought) tied 
that made me lol
