[Anonymous]

Im 21 now and it feels as though Im missing something sometimes cause although Im the shy type I don't really care that much what people think of me. I went on holiday last year with my family we were sat around the table and my mum said to my aunty 'look at the state of her if you were a lad would you want to go with her' and my aunt just shook her head and shrugged. My mum says I should start putting a bit of make up on and doing my hair up like other girls (even though I do wear make up most days I just don't put a lot on)

Ive always held the idea that looks can be fake anyway and are versatile and can be changed and my main priority goes towards my health and keeping fit I do a lot of sport, make up and clothes are just superficial to me. I got a bit of a reality check though when I was 18 for a biology facial attraction activity in college the class rated each other anonymously and I got mainly 4's and the lowest rating in the class - an average of 4.6 (somwhere near tht) out of 10 lol. A very overweight girl who was sat opposite to me got 5.something and I secretly thought what the hell Im small, slim, toned and spend a lot of my time keeping fit lol. They were their honest opinions though maybe the fact that I kept myself to myself influenced it I did get upset around the time but it never really sunk in i was still ok with myself:/ The thing is I didn't give anyone below a 6 I couldn't I thought it was way too harsh most of the girls got 7's and 8's. I guess

Anyway for some reason I still can't see how Im that unattractive Im secretly happy with my facial features which is weird because a lot of girls get told they look good all the time yet still think they don't, I wonder how they would cope if they had experienced what I have. I don't want to sound arrogant Im not I think that everyone has the potential to look nice anyway and at school I secretly thought a lot of lads who seemed to be shunned by girls were good looking.

But yea it makes me wonder if theres something wrong with me cause Im happy to go out in very casual clothes/no make up yet some girls seem to constantly worry how they look, checking themselves in car windows as they walk past. Well I sometimes do that too but how come I don't care as much as them Or rather what makes them care so much I don't know the point to this thread I guess I just wanted confirmation that its ok to feel ok with yourself even if everyone around you doesn't think its ok. I was just thinking stuff through my brother reminded me he has just been getting ready to go and see his potential gf

[a_t]

No, other peoples perceptions of you mean everything

[Stokie]

No ive never cared and never will.

[milesofsea]

I had a very interesting conversation with someone about this the other day, but it wasnt so much about people's perceptions of your looks, more people's perceptions/assumptions about your persona, your reputation. I was arguing that I dont care that much what people think or say about me apart from the people who's opinion I care about. So people close to me.
But by the end of the argument, I was totally convinced otherwise.

As someone above me said, other peoples perceptions of you mean everything in this soceity, it determines your standing on this planet, and can essentialy make or ruin your life.

[coffe_e]

if you are happy then ofcourse it doesn't matter

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by milesofsea

I had a very interesting conversation with someone about this the other day, but it wasnt so much about people's perceptions of your looks, more people's perceptions/assumptions about your persona, your reputation. I was arguing that I dont care that much what people think or say about me apart from the people who's opinion I care about. So people close to me.
But by the end of the argument, I was totally convinced otherwise.

As someone above me said, other peoples perceptions of you mean everything in this soceity, it determines your standing on this planet, and can essentialy make or ruin your life.

but caring what people think isn't going to help you is it? It might make you pretend you are someone you arn't but it will just result in worrying.

What people think of you will matter, but a lot of times people have different opions anyway you can't please everyone so whats the point in caring?

[coffe_e]

Originally Posted by milesofsea

As someone above me said, other peoples perceptions of you mean everything in this soceity, it determines your standing on this planet, and can essentialy make or ruin your life.

Other people's perceptions do mean alot in this society allthough perceptions based on just fashion sense or makeup type mean nothing - unless you are Cheryl Cole.

The reality of it is that if you can look smart you are sorted for the real world and if you don't wanna dress to impress the rest of the time then you will no doubt attract - or be attracted to - the people who feel the same, and so be happy.

I see people with afros, goths, all types of people, and all I think is cool, they aren't scared of what some people think, and they are fine with being unique. Sometimes when I'm wearing nice stuff I feel like an idiot - think I ama stuck up and vain for wanting to 'impress' or put myself above others because I can spend money in a shop. So I dress down, wear smartish clothes and ignore the rest.

If you don't want to wear makeup it's probably because you are not scared of what people think - and you shouldn't be anyway

[Elf.]

No of course not, its a really nice thing to be able to feel that way
It REALLY doesn't matter, I don't think anymore...What others think. A lot of people are REALLY judgemental unnecessarily, generally because of insecurities.
But if you've got none about looks, i'd imagine its really great
Who really cares what a stupid bio survey comes out as?! That sounds like a really mean thing to do tbh, talk about stomping on peoples feelings :/ Well I wouldnt take others opinions as your own
If you feel happy and content, embrace it x

[Indieboohoo]

i was like that aswell but my parents and friends were basicly saying i looked like tomboyish stereotype lesbian who would never find anyone. so i started using make up and wearing more girly clothes in 6th form now i'm in uni it's a force of habit, i can't leave the house without make up. but when i'm at home i wear more comfortable clothing.

we might not lke it but society tells us that females have to look good to be heard or noticed.

[*Star*Guitar*]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

but caring what people think isn't going to help you is it? It might make you pretend you are someone you arn't but it will just result in worrying.

How does caring for how you look mean that you're pretending to be someone you aren't?
If you're fat, you exercise and make yourself thin - like you said, you care about your figure enough to go to the gym.
I have thin hair, so I wear extensions, I like how I wear my make-up on nights out because I feel its a reflection of my personality, I like to have a sense of style so I take care in the clothes I wear.
Its all primarily because I care about what I think; its just that, as a result of that, it tends to satisfy what others think as well, and ends up being received positively.
If I worry, its because of how I feel about myself, not how others see me.

[Felix994]

It is not OK. Whatever you want, a job, friends, a wife/husband. You won't get any of that if you don't care what people think. But you shouldn't be obsessed or care too much what people think of you. Be you, but don't be ignorant towards other people.

[ChunkymunkyDJC]

Personally, I think it is important to care what others think - if you don't, then you'll never evolve (not pokémon style evolve, however awesome that would be).

[CombineHarvester]

You making this thread is ironic considering the title.

[coffe_e]

Originally Posted by ChunkymunkyDJC

Personally, I think it is important to care what others think - if you don't, then you'll never evolve (not pokémon style evolve, however awesome that would be).

You could be the top barrister in England and not care what anyone thinks about you.

[coffe_e]

Originally Posted by Felix994

It is not OK. Whatever you want, a job, friends, a wife/husband. You won't get any of that if you don't care what people think. But you shouldn't be obsessed or care too much what people think of you. Be you, but don't be ignorant towards other people.

You don't need to care what others think - be honest, outgoing and hardworking and you can have the listed things easily.

[silentmonk]

well... There are few things for which i dont mind what others think of me usually like my appearance or dressing... But I am always conscious about ppl. thinking of me as dumb like during lectures I dont answer Qs even when i know the ans and many such circumstances...

Well.. I think In the end it all depends on what you wanna show off to world as you.

[coffe_e]

most people fear pulic speaking - there's only one way to get over it :P

[Going_To_California]

You care so little you're anonymous? I think most people care what others think to some extent.

[kai4321]

If we remove some factors that may be important (like career let's say) then I think it's fine to not care what others think. I mean I would say that it is important to what people close to you (family/friends) think but apart from that, not really.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Going_To_California

You care so little you're anonymous? I think most people care what others think to some extent.

I do care what others think in some ways but Im talking about my appearance, people around me seem to think Im not attractive yet I think that I look fine so who am I supposed to agree with myself or other people?