[bruce_t89]

(Original post by Untitled1)
Hey there everyone

I withdrew from university in November 2009 - about a month and a half after starting.

Why did I withdraw?
There were a few reasons to be honest.
- Firstly, I really could not stand the course. I chose to study Psychology, having loved it at A Level. However, it was far too much science and maths with very little on the theory side which was not what I was expecting at all. I felt I was wasting a lot of time and money, and because I went to a 'high standard' university, they expected you to automatically be a genius since you needed very good results to get in, yet all of my grades were the result of much, much effort!! I went to university to study a subject that I thought I've love (it wasn't about potential earnings etc. or even the dream job since I didn't have one!), and so since I was hating it, I just didn't see the point of being there.

- Secondly, and perhaps most importantly for me that lead to the withdrawal, was that I began suffering from various health effects. I lost weight dramatically, and never felt hungry to eat. I suffered from migraines daily, and felt extremely stressed out. I woke up with very strong feelings of dread in the morning, and always felt so tired and lethargic - I had no energy and desire to do anything, which is nothing like me - I'm usually bursting with enthusiasm! There were a few more health impacts, which are better not to go into, but I'm over them now since leaving uni. If I stayed, I can only imagine I'd have got considerably worse.

- Thirdly, and this kind of stopped me wanting to reapply for now - I started questionning why I was really at university. I kept reading articles about how many graduates were now employed, and as I was studying Psychology, which is becoming increasingly popular, I worried for my future - would I be wasting a considerable length of time feeling extremely miserable, just to not be employed for a long time in the future, or not be where I want to be anyway!! I read quite a lot of statistics, and ultimately decided that certainly for now, it's not for me.

- Also, I was very disappointed with the university. I won't name it, because that doesn't matter, but it made a lot of promises about it's atmosphere, and it was just not what I thought at all. They cancelled at lot of Freshers week events, and the people were the very opposite of the promised friendly - they were rude and arrogant, believing they were superior to everyone else because they were at uni. I hate this, and they're not the type of people I want to associate with. I want friendly people who value what they've got!

- I'm also an academic who likes to work. I've had a part time job for years, but since going to uni, I didn't do any part time work and couldn't get any. I felt like I was living off the government, which I can't stand!! At uni, I didn't feel like I was being helpful to anyone either, and didn't feel like I was of any value to anyone. I just sat and tried to read and overly complicated book, and did everything for myself, rather than others which I was previously used to!

- I couldn't stand university living. I had lovely flatmates thankfully, and didn't mind the actual accommodation. However, I felt like I was living in a bubble and slowly becoming institutionalised, and I hated just living in my bedroom. I wanted a space where I could sit away from my books etc. but there just wasn't anything!

After withdrawing from uni...
Ok, so I'm not going to pretend it's all been positive, but the majority of it certainly is!

The Negatives
- After leaving uni, I just felt really disappointed - not so much in myself, but in that my world felt like it had just came crashing down. I had no dreams anymore, and felt completely lost. However, this has certainly died down with time, and I've had more time to reflect on my choices and now I'm back with my dreams again!
- I was fortunate enough for my previous part time job to offer me a bit of a job back, so I've kept some funds etc. I can understand that it would be extremely daunting for people who can't have this opportunity, and have to search for a job straight away or else rely on benefits, which is a very grim prospect for many! But you'll certainly get there eventually, and probably discover so much more!
- It can feel very lonely at times. If you're on Facebook, you often see all of your friends updating their status' and having this fantastic time, and you wonder why you didn't have a good time. They are often terrible at keeping in touch with you too. Also, I've found that the friends you made at uni are also in no rush to keep in touch, and it can be quite hurtful in some ways. You struggle to find things to talk about, or are kept out of the conversation, because they are now all linked by their uni experiences, whereas you're not. However, if you're friendly and positive, you'll make your new friends too
- A frown can always be turned upside down!

The Positives
- If I had stayed at university, I think I would be really quite ill now! Since coming back, I've returned to my healthy weight, and am postive and happy everyday, with a lot more get-up-and-go, which I completely lost at uni. I'm a changed person for the better, whereas I think uni changes people for the worse most of the time!
- You get to reflect on your choices and have a lovely time of having a break! I got to have the first Christmas in years where I didn't need to revise! I had a brilliant time and it was fantastic. I see so many of my friends stressing over the need to complete assignments, whereas I can just be happy

For me, the most positive thing is that I've now discovered my dream job. I've filled out applications for many jobs, and had a few interviews. It was quite disappointing at first because I was always the second favourite candidate and didn't get the job unfortunately. However, I discovered the position of Healthcare Assistant - it's perfect for me as I can work my way up and I get to help people out, which always appeals to me! I've just received an offer for a job working at part of a Rehabilitation Team, promoting the independence of people suffering from the effects of stroke! This is so much more rewarding than being sat in a stuffy lecture theatre doing work I hate!! Money isn't everything, but rather than getting into debt, I'll be on £13,000 a year, which for someone like me, is just fantastic! I'll still get to study for qualifications, and if I wish to eventually, I could train in all sorts of healthcare routes!

I've taken it as a life changing experience, and although it was disappointing at the time, I look back on it positively in the sense that I've learnt much from it. I'll be learning to drive soon, going on some nice holidays and just enjoying life, which is so important when it's so short! I wouldn't change a single thing, and if people are seriously considering withdrawing and it's all they can think about, I can only recommend withdrawing - it's too much to get stressed out over, and there's always an alternate pathway!

If anyone wants to ask any questions, feel free

I'm glad to hear that your doing so well now and enjoying life at the same time. Getting a job that you always wanted to do must feel really rewarding. It seems as though you've really benefitted from dropping out of university and I can only congratulate you for doing so because some people find it hard to drop out even though they have found university life quite challenging, with all the pressures of studying, confined in only one room and being away from their families.

I'm sorry to hear about your uni experiences, and in a way I know how you feel. I'm at university at the moment but after family problems coming up, now I feel unhappy and this has lead to me applying to transfer to universities that are closer to my home. This will enable me to look after my mum and feel better for my own benefit. Plus I never really wanted to go to this university in the first place, there's nothing to do because the atmosphere just feels dead around here.

I study psychology and I can understand how you feel about the course. The structure can be a bit too scientific and mathematical (with all the stats and neuropsychology you have to learn) but I kinda knew that this was what a psychology degree would entail so I gradually got used to it and now starting to enjoy it. However, I definitely can empathise with you because there are loads of psychology students who don't prefer the scientific emphasis and want it to be more theory based.

So basically, well done on what you have achieved in life after university and keep being happy. You're going in the right direction.

[Raindrop87]

(Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
My friend's experience:


My epilepsy has pretty ruined my academic life. I went to university: fantastic grades, social life, friends and optimistic with regards to my future. Then the epilepsy fits started. I started missing lectures, disregarding work, became clinically depressed. I lost all interest in my course (which before I had an absolute passion for). My epilepsy grew worse, the medication wasn't working. I've struggled through 1st and 2nd years. The stress of graduating with a 2:2 or worse is overwhelming. Given my course, I need to get a 2:1 and given my condition, it's an uphill struggle. I'm fighting for a good grade whilst trying to get better and out of this constant depression. I've lost contact with friends, I barely talk to anyone, become withdrawn. The workload has increased dramatically and my condition hasn't improved. I've been able to catchup to lectures using the online Blackboard facilities but I always have this "tired" feeling partly due to my insomnia.

I don't know if I will drop out. Dropping out seems better than graduating with a 2:2. Nor do I know what lies in front of me. But my optimistic nature has turned pessimistic.

I'm in second year and my epilepsey has taken a turn for the worse, I came home the other day just to get away from uni and had a seizure in my sleep. Bit my tongue like never before. I really cant be arsed going back to uni but I have been doing lots and lots of thinking and there's only about a year left for me really, as the dissertations have to be in around May. I think i'm just gonna have to grin and bear it.

(Original post by DiamondsAreForever)

I went to the doctors a couple of weeks ago to let everything out... trying to cope with my grandmas death.. my mums depression because of it, my dads debilitating and deteriorating illnesses caused by his epilepsy, and he told me I had clinical depression , and gave me a letter for a month off of Uni. This only made me panic more because I just thought I would get more behind, which when I went to my lecturer to tell them, he said the exact same, and referred me to counselling. Ive got my first session tomorrow... but at the moment, nothing is getting sorted, just sitting there and getting worse. I’ve got no clue what to do. My dream of having a fresh start and achieving in life has been shattered.

Can I ask what illnesses are caused by his epilepsey? I have it but didnt realise it caused other things
Counselling is a good way to go btw. I had my first session last week and it felt good to let it all out.

(Original post by magic_box)

Once I was actually in Leeds though, it was very immediately apparent that there was no way I could spend 3 years there (or, to be honest, at any uni at the time - nothing against Leeds or the uni itself, its a great place!). I spent most of my time in tears and can honestly say I have never felt so depressed or hopeless in my life - I was still clinging to the notion that there was no way I could leave! I couldn't even speak to my mum on the phone without breaking down.

-magic_box

I also can't stop breaking down into tears atm, its eased off in the last couple of days since being home. BUt I have to go back to uni sunday and the thought of that makes me feel so depressed.

(Original post by mad-cow18)
Didnt get on with flatmates, was bullied by them and forced to move accommodation.. Course very biological and lots of pressure put on by the department to do well. Ridiculous amounts of work in only the first term with so little time to fit it in as lots of lectures to fill your time.

I'm being bullied by my hall mates atm, its what my counsellor calls it. I wish I could move but my uni is tiny, two of them are on my course and I have to live in a house with them next year that I have already signed my contract for.

It's taken all my self control to not quit uni altogether.

[DiamondsAreForever]

(Original post by Raindrop87)
Can I ask what illnesses are caused by his epilepsey? I have it but didnt realise it caused other things
Counselling is a good way to go btw. I had my first session last week and it felt good to let it all out.

Oh well my dads had it for years and years , all the fits have caused him to get.. scoliosis I think thats how you spell it? Where some of his nerves are cut off in his brain and instead of his brain being all squiggly , its just smoothed over from scar tissue, umm.. its caused him to have short term memory loss which is getting worse and worse.. hes currently on 20 tablets a day, they are trying to wean him off carbamazapeine and on to some sort of new drug, the carbamazapeine has somehow caused him to have low calcium levels which have weakened the bones in his neck and hes now got arthritis, and he permanently has the shakes in his arms. But this is after having epilepsy for about 40 years.

[Raindrop87]

(Original post by DiamondsAreForever)
Oh well my dads had it for years and years , all the fits have caused him to get.. scoliosis I think thats how you spell it? Where some of his nerves are cut off in his brain and instead of his brain being all squiggly , its just smoothed over from scar tissue, umm.. its caused him to have short term memory loss which is getting worse and worse.. hes currently on 20 tablets a day, they are trying to wean him off carbamazapeine and on to some sort of new drug, the carbamazapeine has somehow caused him to have low calcium levels which have weakened the bones in his neck and hes now got arthritis, and he permanently has the shakes in his arms. But this is after having epilepsy for about 40 years.

I have some memory problems but only after having a seizure, although my last seizure was on FRiday night and my brain is still tricking me :/ i'm on keppra now just started it so i hope it works for me.
I've only had it since 2007 so i dont think im anywhere near as bad as your dad. My main problem with it is that i always bite my frigging tongue, has your dad had bad bites? My tongue feels like a slab of meat atm im a bit concerned at the lack of sensation in it.

[DiamondsAreForever]

(Original post by Raindrop87)
I have some memory problems but only after having a seizure, although my last seizure was on FRiday night and my brain is still tricking me :/ i'm on keppra now just started it so i hope it works for me.
I've only had it since 2007 so i dont think im anywhere near as bad as your dad. My main problem with it is that i always bite my frigging tongue, has your dad had bad bites? My tongue feels like a slab of meat atm im a bit concerned at the lack of sensation in it.

Yeah thats the one my dad is slowly eing weaned onto, keppra. No he doesn't, he doesnt have shaking fits anymore or bite his tongue his breathing just goes funny , and his muscles twitch in his shoulders arms and hands for quite a while. Maybe go to your specialist?

[Air Chatwin]

Ive had a number of problems this year in my final year of uni. Before starting my final year I did a two year foundation degree at a local college which was great and one that I passed easily getting a 2:1. However for my 3rd year I thought it was time to get out there on my own and going to uni in a big city and getting a place of my own.

Ive always worked throughout my first two years of uni study and this year has been no different however before starting my final year the shop I worked in was purchased by new owners, however you dont realise how bad people will be until you start working for them.

I moved into the city so omptimistic of what the year would bring expecting great things and all these new opportunities sadly Ive been left feeling dissapointed. I found a really nice house to move into and prepared myself for the year ahead. I didnt know any of my housemates before I moved and Im dissapointed to say I couldnt of ended up with a worse bunch Im a 3rd year sports student stuck living with two masters degree psychology students who really shouldnt be living in student accomodation anymore due to there age, and a guy who has just kind of glued himself onto them . Now thats fine and doesnt bother me anyway as I'd much rather spend my free time with my girlfriend then hang out with them, however the fact that they think they run the house has become a real issue for me they tried to tell me when I can and cannot have the heating on in my own room in the middle of winter. They tried to tell me I had to pay for all these communal items asking for ridiculous amounts of money and providing no receipts basically trying to make me pay for all of it. Ive had jars of pasta sauce and other items go missing. Then one of my housemates had the nerve to go and make a noise complaint about me when I'm bar far and away the quietest one in my house and the complaint was made just because me and my girlfriend were watching a dvd and apparantley the noise was too loud (it wasnt) anyway after all this I've stopped talking to my housemates, I prefer not talking to them its just not great living in a tense enviroment.

Anyway back to uni, I enjoyed my first two years studying and thought being at a big uni would be great, however the lecturers dont seem to give a damn about the students actually learning, a number of lecturers are rude an unhelpful and talk at you rather than to you. There was no real introduction to any of the clubs or societies for those of us that had come from other places to do our 3rd year, so you kind of felt like you didnt know what you were doing before you started.

I didnt mind travelling back to home of a weekend to work, it was nice to get to see my family however I could tell that my new bosses didnt particularly like me and other staff working there and wanted to get there family and friends in to work there. This is where the problems started and my bosses tried to make working life as uncomfortable as possible. They asked me to work 11 hour days starting at 7am which I have no problem doing, and working on my own on a sunday. I didnt like working on my own on a sunday as it meant I could have no break, couldnt go to the toilet or anything however I felt like I had to do it as I needed the money to support myself it was a horrible feeeling having to work a job you hate because your student loan only works out at 1000 pound each term and your rent comes in at 1200. This is because my parents are quite well off however I see this as no fault of theirs and would never ask them to support me whilst I study I feel at 21 I should be responsible for my own success or lack of it.

My bosses tried to acuse me of different things before actually bothering to check to find out what had happened, 20 pound and a parcel went missing one week and it was the fault of a friend of the boss who worked there however they felt the need to accuse me first. Then one week my bosses came in and said that I could no longer have my morning and afternoon 15 minute break during my 11 hour shift and that I was only allowed a 30 minute lunch break during my 11 hours. Now i wouldnt of minded if I was say told in advance or it was the same for everyone however friends of the boss who worked much shorter shifts were still allowed to have a ciggarette or wander round town whenever they wanted leaving me own my own with a mountain of customers. At this point in the afternoon I said to myself I should take another break and told the girl I was working with that I was taking a break to get a drink etc. My bosses found out and then gave me a letter saying I would have a disciplinary in two weeks.

It was at this point I said to myself why am I doing all this? I hate my job, I'm not enjoying this year of uni, Ive got no money, and my foundation degree isnt worth the paper its printed on its made no difference at all when applying for jobs. I went in the day before my disciplinary collected my wages and gave them an immediate notice of resignation rather then give them the pleasure of putting me through a disciplinary. I found another job no problem, however with all the stuff thats happened this year Ive been suffering quite badly from depression, I dont let anyone see it but I dont want to leave my room, or do things I always used to anymore. I think whats the point of turning up to uni I dont enjoy it, and I dont feel like its taking me anywhere getting a foundation degree has made no difference in my life so what difference will an extra bit of paper make?

Im still in uni and getting my work in on time.........just, but I just have no motivation anymore, Im not sure if i want to work in sport anymore and dont know what else to do with my health and fitness management foundation degree. All in all I just feel completely lost and dont know what to do. I dont want to leave uni as I'll feel like a failure and wasted all this time and money for nothing, however with end of year exams coming after easter I know im not in the right frame of mind to go in there and pass or put in the time to revise as I just cant be doing with it anymore.

[Jackass19]

i find uni really boring (probs my fault for not joining any clubs/societies), but im still sticking it out

[libbymimnagh]

I wish that I had seen this thread more than anything when I was thinking about dropping out of university, it would have been a massive help!

I dropped out of my awful course at an awful university after the worst three months of my life. I was living in a recently reformed old people's home; in essence, I was paying £100 a week to live in a room with a dead person's dried vomit up the walls. I'm sure that gives you a flavour of what's to come...

I suppose my university problems can be tracked all the way back to choosing my GCSE options. I was an all-rounder at school (got A*s and As in everything), but I never had a favourite subject, nor a particular interest. My mum picked my GCSEs for me, that's the honest truth!

Fast forward to A levels, I was still just as clueless about what to study. I decided to play it safe, and so I chose subjects that I had achieved A* in at GCSE. To cut a long story short, I decided that architecture would be the most sensible pursuit for me as an undergraduate, given my choice of subjects. I got two offers from unis, and when it came to results day I fell VERY short of what was required.

I was then pressured by my parents, extended family and friends to go through clearing. This was one of the worst decisions I have ever made (no exaggeration). Things I kept hearing during this period of time were:

• There are no jobs
• A degree is a degree at the end of the day
• You need to go to uni before the fees go up next year
• It doesn't matter what you study, just as long as you're doing something and pass it
• You cannot take a gap year, you can't just sit about and live off a part-time job

I cannot stress enough how wrong all of those people were, regardless of their undoubtedly good intentions. I know now that a degree is not something you should decide upon over the course of a few days. It isn't a light-hearted decision. It takes a hell of a lot of thought and consideration. If I hadn't felt so pressured by various people, I wouldn't have gone and would have gone looking for work straight away.

Back to the story: I arrived at university and knew almost immediately that I would dislike it. The people I lived with had little/nothing in common with me, and I was embarrassed that I gone through clearing and ended up at one of the lowest-ranked universities in the country. It sounds terribly big-headed, but after my very first taster lecture I knew that my course would be terrible and that I was wasting my time. I sat hating the course and the work, and just spent most of my time in my room wishing and praying to any kind of deity that I could be anywhere else. I pined constantly for my old sixth form, and wished every moment of every day that I could have my time there over again and get better A level grades. Lots of my friends from school also hated uni, and some of them have dropped out to take up work or take a gap year.

I cried myself to sleep most nights, and on one occasion I really thought I was losing my mind, having sat up all night sobbing uncontrollably - so in a blind panic, after three months at uni, I drove all the way home in hysterical tears and confessed to my parents that I couldn't take it any more. I was suffering from extreme anxiety - I was unable to eat, I hadn't done any work, I was deliberately excluding myself from going out/socialising with my housemates. I never suffered from homesickness, but I was so relieved to be back home. My mum got me to see a therapist over the Christmas holiday, and it was thanks to those sessions that I finally gained some perspective. I had no reason to panic about this; I simply hated my course, and wanted to do something else!

In early January, I went into the uni for the last time and dropped out. It's the best decision I've ever made! Since then, I've started work at Barclays Bank which I absolutely love, and I'm now studying management part-time on an open course.

Not liking university is nothing to be embarrassed about. For me, all uni did was cause a great deal of heartache and regret, and get me into £4000 worth of debt... It was a real eye opener - I've learnt far more working in banking for one month than I did at uni over three months. I think that really says something about the quality of some courses at some unis.

I should never have listened to the people who told me that there's no work out there. If you look hard enough, if you want it enough and you're good enough, you have no reason not to succeed. I applied for about 7 jobs and was made formal offers for 2 over a period of 2.5 months.

I feel that I'm in an extremely advantageous position now. I have a really good and secure job, and I'm working for one of the world's top brands. I will have no debt very soon, and I will have a significant amount of practical experience under my belt by the time my peers graduate. The way I see it, I'd much rather get my foot in the door of a good company and learn on the job than sit in bedsit land writing essays and reading books about the work I'll be doing in 2 years' time.

Getting into a corporate environment and having the ability to study management part-time has proved to me that I do actually want to get a degree at some point in my life, but I want to do something that's really relevant to the sector I work in. I also want to do a degree at a university of my choosing, not wherever has space for me in clearing.

The way I see it, getting a degree as soon as you leave school is just another hoop most people jump through, and it proves that you have achieved a certain level of education.

However, without any real experience or knowledge in your area of interest, how can any 18 year old say with conviction that they definitely want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or work with animals, or study history?

Personally, I think it's too early for somebody to place all their eggs in one basket. I feel that the main issue lies with these new and VERY specific degrees - one I can think of from the top of my head is Sports Journalism and Sports Broadcasting.

Why would you not just do a straight degree in English or Journalism to give yourself some wider scope? There are so many things to do in the wider media, not just sport.

How can somebody who has come straight out of school say that they want to write/broadcast about sport for the rest of their life? It makes so little sense to me... Fair enough if your heart is set on it, but I wouldn't want to graduate in such a tiny niche and then never find any work in it... I digress, this has turned into a nice bit of rambling

To round off, university is an experience you should treat with a healthy degree of caution. It can be great, it can be ok and it can be absolutely awful. Make sure that you're absolutely 1000000% sure about what you want to study. Be passionate about it, be ready to put everything you have into it. There's no point going into something if your heart just isn't in it or you'll never get the result you're looking for.

[tsruserrr]

I spent two years on a Law degree at Bristol before dropping out and finding success elsewhere. At the time I felt like a bit of a failure given that the course drop out rate on Unistats is miniscule and only something like 2% fail to complete. However, in retrospect dropping out was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. “Where did it all go wrong?” is a question I’ve pondered quite a bit. Below are my reasons for dropping out and how I managed to ‘bounce back’ and succeed elsewhere.

Reasons for dropping out:

1) Difficult Course: I simply couldn’t hack the degree. A law degree is pretty tough and assessment was by three hour exams with little chance to lessen that burden with coursework and no January exams like back in the A-level days. This meant examination periods where I would have had to take 15 hours of exams in little over a week and a half. The exams were really tough and I simply buckled in second year. In hindsight I should have done a bit more research into the course structure when I do a bit better with coursework. The fact I had no previous experience of studying law and was learning the discipline from scratch didn't help much either. Those studying Maths or History or whatever will at least have knowledge from sixth form to fall back on. I turned up not even knowing what an "actus reus" was and perhaps could have benefited from law at A-level however much Departments look down on it.

I actually did ok in first year hitting the 2.1 standard in all of my modules apart from tort and contract. The problem was that was just the gentle introduction. Second year was a completely new ball game with several modules building upon knowledge from first year. I could just about cope with the first year stuff so when everything increased in difficultly I didn't exactly cope. Interestingly, the Department have now introduced an "Introduction to Law" module and made things slightly easier by moving "Property/Land" to second year and dropping Advanced Contract and Tort which was a truly ghastly module. I only wish some of the changes could have happened when I was there so I could have benefited from them!

It is perhaps an obvious point but when you are studying something for three years you actually have to enjoy it. I never truly enjoyed studying law and found the course far too "black letter". Half the time I felt that I was memorizing and regurgitating material like I was back at school rather than being encouraged to think critically about the law.

2) Rubbish Department: I couldn’t hack the course but equally the Department did not seem particularly interested in me or indeed any undergraduates. I perhaps paid too much attention to league tables - When I got there I was a bit shocked to realise that just because a department demanded several ‘A’ grades at A-level that didn’t necessarily mean that the teaching was up to scratch. I remember asking what the point of attending a world class research institution was if you spent so little time with the world class researchers. I was very impressed with the Department when I visited on an Open Day but after studying there for a few months I realised there was this great contrast between the magnificent architecture of the Wills Memorial Building (very Hogworts!) and the poor educational experience I felt I was getting inside it.

University isn’t school and you can’t expect to be spoon-fed but teaching very much played second fiddle to research with most teaching “off-loaded” onto PhD students rather than the Professors. I wasn't particularly impressed with some the PhD students whom teaching had been offloaded onto and it seemed quite clear that a few of them would rather not have to bother with first year undergraduates. Levels of feedback were poor and you felt like a “unit of income generation” rather than an individual. I am at risk of repeating myself here but there simply wasn't any support from the Department and you were just left to sink or swim. I started to think "Did I really study so hard at A-level for this?" and more importantly “Am I really paying for this?!”

2b) Terrible Teaching

The attitude towards undergraduates was awful. I've a few anecdotes but for purposes of brevity I'll concentrate on contract and tort law.
1. My first year contract tutor who was gone by Christmas complained about how poor the pay was for marking essays and as such he "didn't wish to mark any!"
2. One contract lecturer used a end of year report to dismiss a class as a "disaffected group who wished to be spoon-fed"
3. The first words of my second year tort tutor was that he "didn't care whether or not the class passed or failed".

Needless to say it wasn't exactly what I expected on firming Bristol. Having jumped through the LNAT and all that I wasn't too impressed to be honest.

3) First Year *Does* Count: I perhaps put too much pressure on myself in first year given that were I to apply for law firms my first year results would count. I was never one of those people who wanted to sell my soul to Slaughter & May but I imagined myself going down the training contract route. This resulted in me staying indoors studying far too often when people on other degrees simply shouted “40%!” and downed another Jagerbomb before knuckling down in second year. When I realised I didn’t want a legal career I just felt like I’d wasted first year and opportunities to get involved that I wasn’t going to get again. My JCR put on such a fantastic calendar of events in my Stoke Bishop hall and I let it all pass me by. What a complete Muppet I was!

4) Not Fitting In

I made a real effort to join clubs and societies but I just didn’t find my niche. Right from the off I didn't click with my hall corridor which was dominated by public school boys from leafy parts of West London. I just had nothing in common with this "gap yah" set. I went to freshers week and joined loads of societies but I just didn't click with any of them despite no lack of trying.

Perhaps it is something about living in Grade II listed accommodation and having tutorials in the Wills Memorial Building that attracts a certain *kind* of student. There are few better places for an Oxbridge reject to live the "Brideshead" experience. The streets of Clifton particularly Royal York Crescent are gorgeous in the summertime and Wills Hall is more of a stately home than a Halls of Residence. When I hear people on TSR say how impressed they are with the library or Wills Memorial on open days it reminds me of that line from the History Boys where Hector talks of "confusing learning with the smell of cold stone".

I don’t mean to sound like a hardy class warrior or anything. It was just a bit posh and there were not many people like me. I remember signing up for mooting (a kind of debating society for aspiring barristers) and having some brash public school boy with years of school debating experience rip apart my arguments. I remember walking out of it thinking “This really isn’t me...”. It does take some people a while to settle at university. With me and Bristol I felt like I never really settled at all though I would have ploughed on regardless had I been coping academically.

5) Depression Having a generally rubbish time I got pretty severely depressed. I wasn’t sleeping or sleeping too much. I'd lost quite a bit of weight and I was finding it difficult to concentrate on studying and getting very anxious. Needless to say depression hardly helped with either a) completing the degree or b) maintaining friendships. There came a point when I thought actually my health is more important than anything and perhaps I should look elsewhere.

I first looked at transferring to other courses at Bristol but that didn’t really get anywhere and the disinterest shown in my plight confirmed in my mind that going to a different institution was the way forward. It was almost as if the fact that a certain number of students would be unable to "hack" the course had been factored in the thinking of the department when recruiting. There was no real attempt to keep me or work out how I might be able to still complete the course perhaps by taking a break from study or going part time to lessen the workload. Had all options been exhausted I still might/probably would have made the same decision but I do wish they had shown a little more interest.

In retrospect I sense a certain arrogance. The year I applied there was something like 20 applicants for every place. Of course not every one of those will have wanted to go to Bristol or even have been accepted but the point here is they could have filled the course several times over without trying. As such there was little need to focus on things like NSS ratings or student feedback as there would always be enough bums on seats. Perhaps this is another good example of how demand for something shouldn't be seen as a proxy for quality?

But It Got Better

I applied for a different course but there were only three decent Russell Group universities in UCAS Extra. I e-mailed all of them and one let me in. I'd prefer not to mention it by name to prevent me from being identified.

Three years later I had a first, had lived something of a social life when not chasing my degree and generally had fond memories to look back on. I threw myself into university life, made friends and people back home commented how much happier I seemed in myself. Right from the off things were better - I'm hardly the biggest clubber but went out more in my first months than in a couple of years at Bristol. I made friends on my course, in my halls and in societies I joined. Bluntly put I made more friends in two weeks at my new uni than I made in two years at Bristol.

Obviously no university is perfect but there were noticeable differences at my new institution. Feedback was greater, the academics were less aloof and generally had more time for you if you wanted to discuss a dissertation topic or whatever. Though still a very good university the students seemed less pompous and priggish and the assessments though tough rewarded those who put the hours in in the library. Perhaps not suffering from clinical depression helped a little but I still feel that being as objective as possible my new university was better in every regard right down to the range of clubs and societies on offer to the quality of beer on offer in the Students' Union.

Going elsewhere you notice the little things like how a great Students' Union can benefit the "student experience" and how poor Bristol was in this regard. Also how expensive Bristol accommodation both in halls and the private rented sector is compared to elsewhere. Sure my second year accommodation at my new university wasn't situated anywhere quite as nice as Clifton's suburbs but you can't have everything in life.

What I think I've been trying to say with this post is that sometimes dropping out is the right option. My parents agreed with my decision realising that I was frankly a bit of a mess but almost everyone else was very negative when I hold them and didn't really understand the complex reasons I had for doing so. I only wish I'd had the courage to drop out sooner rather than struggle on for years. It certainly would have been cheaper and I wouldn't have wasted two years of my life.

Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you.

[Lampoon]

I plan on dropping out over the course of the next week/month.

University life may not 'live up to the hype'
The course isn't what you wanted/expected
Lack of motivation/interest
You want to change course but can't
Loneliness, or you haven't made as many friends as you hoped you would

To some degree all of these. I love living away from home and although I don't really 'click' with my flatmates we are on amiable terms. However the social side is lacking, most societies are essentially football pub crawls and there aren't any societies which involve academic or manual challenge.

Other than that I find the course (Eng Lit) lacking. I probably sound like a pretentious prick but it just seemed kind of basic. Perhaps that's because I went to a good grammar school which hired brilliant teachers (especially for English) or because I did a Cambridge pre-u course rather than an A-level but it just doesn't seem to be a discernibly higher level. Of the eight hours contact time per week two are unrelated to literature, and six hours per week doesn't really justify the tuition fee.

The workload isn't particularly tough (although the essay deadlines always fall right at the end of term, which means that there's no chance to write on the material covered in the last few weeks) and I generally get high 2:1 or low firsts for my work, even though I often feel that they are being over generous with their marking. Seminar/tutorial sizes are also too large (20-30 people) and thus there's no opportunity for a good debate, one of the main reasons why I chose the course in the first place.

The main problem though is the monotony, I just can't envisage myself here for another two-and-a-bit years gathering debt. I know some people have already quit, and others just turn up for one lecture/seminar in ten so it isn't just me, hopefully.