Does love really exist!

love exists :smile:

......and i agree with raven. it could also be that it just doesn't exist between the two of you- :frown:

-but then again you're both going through a really stressful period which is bound to have an impact on the quality of the relationship...has it always been this way?

Reply 4

tishysquishy

10

it really doesnt sound like a good relationship from an outsider's point of view. Meet up with him and tell him face to face that all of his actions dont reassure you that he loves u. If you meet up face to face you will be able to 'read' him better than if you call him. To me it seems as if he doesnt want to carry on the relationship; because if he cared he would at least TRY to carry on the relationship into Uni.

Reply 5

I do believe that love exists, but not necessarily in every single case. Has he always acted this way? Is he a secure and committed enough person in your opinion? Maybe he's been doing little things that show his love but that you haven't noticed??

Reply 6

Anubis

I have been in exactly the same situation as you - although I am male. My ex gf basically showed no attempt to make me happy in the end and always complained whatever I done. I went to see her - every time I did it was "an inconvenient time", and I took a step back and realised if someone was worth being with then they wouldn't ever make me feel like that. I was with her for two years and was my childhood sweetheart. It was VERY hard to let go, but in the end she was playing with my feelings - even calling me up saying she had been with someone else. I promised to tell her father everything if she ever called me again - and that was it.

She kept saying that we were going to break up once we got to Uni - and tbh her interest was to see University as a totally new life for her (its not btw - trust me).

All I can say is make sure your not being taken for a ride and your not a "you'll do for now until I find someone at Uni". Ask him questions - both of you sit down and discusss things but DONT raise your voice or argue even if you hate the response you get. You need answers - so get them. We on TSR can give you GUIDANCE - your bf can give you the EXACT ANSWERS.

Goodluck...

Reply 7

Amlea

I know love exists because you just know if you share a mutually exclusive inexplicable love between you.

Reply 8

OP

He wasn't always like this. When we were first together he actually came to see me every day and it just gradually got less and less. I don't mind not seeing him everyday cos its good that he has other things to do other than see me but its when i don't see him for a whole week. He doesn't deliberately tell me thats he has been with other people cos he hasn't and i trust him but he winds me up about things, then laughs at me when i get upset or annoyed. Even though he knows that he's done something to make me cry he insists on asking me why i'm crying when he knows perfectly well what he has done or said. I have huge trouble talking to him when he comes over cos if i try to have a serious conversation he just cracks jokes and laughs. I don't wanna break up with him. I do love him and i want to belive him when he says he loves me. Its kind of hard not to believe something that a person has been saying for over a year.

Reply 9

Amlea

You seriously need to have a serious talk. Tell him what he does that makes you feel this way and try and sort it out.

Reply 10

LittleMissShine

I know how you feel my boyfriend thinks our relationship theoretically could last till the end of college, so thats just over a year away. Then we'd go our separate ways when we leave for uni. And yet he tells me he loves me and I mean the world to him. But I dont like the fact hes putting a dealine on our relationship. Though I know its highly likely that we'll split before university, because I know I cant do long distance relationships.

Reply 11

Amlea

In relationships there are no such things as "deadlines". However much it might hurt you may have to go your seperate ways because in the end you will both get hurt anyway. He seems to have a distorted view of your relationship and that isn't healthy.

Reply 12

Ant93

He wasn't always like this. When we were first together he actually came to see me every day and it just gradually got less and less. I don't mind not seeing him everyday cos its good that he has other things to do other than see me but its when i don't see him for a whole week. He doesn't deliberately tell me thats he has been with other people cos he hasn't and i trust him but he winds me up about things, then laughs at me when i get upset or annoyed. Even though he knows that he's done something to make me cry he insists on asking me why i'm crying when he knows perfectly well what he has done or said. I have huge trouble talking to him when he comes over cos if i try to have a serious conversation he just cracks jokes and laughs. I don't wanna break up with him. I do love him and i want to belive him when he says he loves me. Its kind of hard not to believe something that a person has been saying for over a year.

Possibilities:
1. He loves you but he's scared that he'll lose you when you both go to uni, so he's trying to cool things down a bit. He's trying to avoid confronting his feelings about you.
2. He doesn't love you and he's trying to look for an excuse to end the relationship.

Either way, you guys need to TALK. Make it clear.

Reply 13

OP

I understand people breaking up for uni cos they could be moving miles away for example my mate broke up with his gf cos he is going to London and she is going to Aberdeen. I just don't see why me and my bf need to do it cos he is staying here in Somerset and I'm only going to Exmouth. Its not exactly far and if we are both driving by then then we can alternate visits but it is unlikely that i will be driving and he can't be bothered to drive 20 mins to come and see me now let alone an hour to see me then.

Reply 14

LittleMissShine

I know how you feel my boyfriend thinks our relationship theoretically could last till the end of college, so thats just over a year away. Then we'd go our separate ways when we leave for uni. And yet he tells me he loves me and I mean the world to him. But I dont like the fact hes putting a dealine on our relationship. Though I know its highly likely that we'll split before university, because I know I cant do long distance relationships.

I don't like long distance relationships either (well who do??). My theory is, if you guys TRY and it doesn't work out, fine. But if you don't even try, I'd think it's a pity :frown:

Reply 15

OP

ChocoVet

Possibilities:
1. He loves you but he's scared that he'll lose you when you both go to uni, so he's trying to cool things down a bit. He's trying to avoid confronting his feelings about you.
2. He doesn't love you and he's trying to look for an excuse to end the relationship.

Either way, you guys need to TALK. Make it clear.

He's not going to Uni! He knows how i feel about the L word along with knowing how gullible i am, he wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. Though i am beginning to doubt him, i don't want to.

Reply 16

Ant93

He's not going to Uni! He knows how i feel about the L word along with knowing how gullible i am, he wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. Though i am beginning to doubt him, i don't want to.

Hmm do you want him to say the L word and not act like he means it or do you want him to act like he loves you? What do you want him to do to show his love and do you think he understands it?

Reply 17

OP

ChocoVet

Hmm do you want him to say the L word and not act like he means it or do you want him to act like he loves you? What do you want him to do to show his love and do you think he understands it?

I like him telling me he loves me but i want him to show it as well. Do you think thats too much to ask? Basically i want him to be a little more careful with his words if he thinks or knows that what he says is gonna upset me. I want him to be clearer when he is winding me up so i know if he is being serious or winding me up. I've told him how i feel about the breaking up before uni situation and he refuses to talk to me about that one.

Reply 18

Ant93

I like him telling me he loves me but i want him to show it as well. Do you think thats too much to ask? Basically i want him to be a little more careful with his words if he thinks or knows that what he says is gonna upset me. I want him to be clearer when he is winding me up so i know if he is being serious or winding me up. I've told him how i feel about the breaking up before uni situation and he refuses to talk to me about that one.

What you've said in this post, say the exact same thing to him. If he refuses to listen to you, if he can't even take you seriously, I'd doubt how much he means it when he says he loves you.

I'm sorry if it all sounds harsh. And no, I don't think you're asking too much. But the question is, does he think that's asking too much of him?

Reply 19

Ol 92650