Sorry if this post rambles on but I really need some advice from people who know a tonne more about this than I do, I'm totally lost.
Currently I am in my first year at the University of Leeds studying French and German, a course I have come to realise I am not happy studying. What I would really like to be studying is Medicine. Trust me I know how crazy that sounds.
I wanted to go into Medicine for many years when I was younger however I attended a language college and started to become interested in languages as well. By the time it came to choose my a levels I was not entirely sure the route I wanted to go down but I decided it was best to choose languages or sciences in order to concentrate on a specific area and do the best that I could. I was very insecure and unsure of myself as I was having trouble with depression and bulimia and I lost the bottle to persue medicine and decided to take languages instead.
I had a fairly decent AS year but by the time exams rolled around I wasn't feeling great again but I did ok and achieved ABCD, when it came to choosing a university degree I still found myself very indecisive. I changed my mind about what I wanted to study a million times and decided that the medicine ship had sailed. In the end I decided on studying French and German at Leeds.
However in the next 6 months the depression and bulimia came back in a pretty bad way, not terribly but it definitely affected my life in a big way. Teachers started to notice and got me into counselling which helped me a lot over the next 7 months before Uni and my doctor put me on antidepressants. For a long time I doubted that I'd go to uni at all because I wasn't sure I was making the right choice in course or in my life and my grades were slipping but in the end I decided maybe a fresh start was what I needed and I worked hard, pulled my grades up and got into Leeds.
I came off the antidepressants a few weeks before I went to Leeds (I moved from London) and was very scared that it would mean I couldn't settle and things would get worse again. However things were generally ok, I found a good group of friends and Im a lot happier for being in Leeds, I feel like I really belong.
I'm still not happy though, to cut a long story short, I realise now that I made the wrong decision. I now feel like I'm a strong enough person to persue medicine because it's really what I want to do, I'm not doing particularly well in my degree because I'm not interested, I rushed into it and was unsure.
My options now are very limited, my A levels are ABB(B in gen stud) in French, German and English. But one thing I have found that might work for me is the clinical sciences foundation at Bradford. I know I'm very close to the deadline for september 2010 but I'm feeling that currently this is my best bet as it has the transfer to Leeds Medical school programme which is apparently a difficult option but if at all possible I want to stay in Leeds as I'm very happy here and don't want to disrupt the settled life I have finally found. While the move to Leeds was very worthwhile it was also very hard for me as all the support I was used to had dissapeared.
Basically if anyone could give me any advice at all I would greatly appreciate it as currently I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Thanks for reading.