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How to deal with vile/rude/insulting customers at work?

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I don't think ignoring it is the best way. I work in a restaurant and had the rudest customer i have ever experienced a few weeks ago, he was really personally insulting, sarcastic and patronising, i was so shocked at the time I didn't really say anything and tried to ignore it, but afterwards I was so mad at myself for not standing up to him. people should not be allowed to speak to others that way. I think it takes time and confidence to be able to handle these types of people, you never have to be as rude back to them but I think there is a way to handle them and letting them know you wont tolerate being spoken to like that. next time (if there is a next time) i'm going to say i'm not willing to be spoken to like that and will get my supervisor/manager over to deal with any problems they have. to be honest i don't get paid enough to deal with crap from stupid customers.
Anonymous
I'm really sick of this. I work in retail in an outdoor shop. I'm 21, female and and Uni student, working 9-5 at the weekends. More often then not I am on the recieving end of sexist comments aimed at me ("Sorry love/darlin', I'd rather speak to a man" is the most common one), but I had one rather vile customer really upset me today. A woman and her daughter marched up to our desk where I was doing some paper work. She shoved a product in front my face and asked how it worked (no 'excuse me'). I took it from her, paused to think for a second, when she snatched it back and said...I quote..."I bloody well knew it. You don't know. Useless girl. But what would I expect from asking a 2 year old". She then stormed off. I was speechless...I didn't say a word to this women, yet she insulted me by calling me a 2 year old and useless?

Dealing with these type of vile people is really knocking my confidence, which I have very little of anyway (due to being bullied relentlessly for 7 years throughout school and college). Should I continue to ignore customers that personally insult me? part of me wants to turn around and insult them, but I think that might not go down too well if they said that to my manager. :frown:


You are taking it too personally. The way these people act is no reflection on you, only on them.

There's no need to insult them back, just be polite as possible and if people don't accept that then it is their issue, and theirs only. I would probably say something to the sexist stuff but thats the feminist in me. I wouldn't be rude, just explain my male colleague is as qualified as me and I would be happy to help- essentially dismissing their idiotic request and still doing my job.

I just find rude people funny though, I always see people getting stressed out over the smallest things- I would find it funny if a customer got that wound up over not understanding a product (and remember she asked you how it worked, because she didn't have the capacity to understand)
I once insulted a customer back, then they told the manager that they wanted me fired, but it was my word against theirs :h:. In all honesty though, just ignore it and rise above them :yep:.
I used to work in retail and the amount of infuriating customers around Christmas time was just insane. It seemed they only ever aimed their anger at me too, probably because I was the shortest/youngest looking :colondollar: On more than one occasion I wanted to smack the bastards but have to be professional and all that ...
Unfortunately many people do not know how to complain. Many simply lack the communications skills to effectively state their issue, so resort to ad hominem attacks. You may also find that if they lack these interpersonal skills, they also lack many other skills required to form opinions by critical thinking, make effective decisions, operate relatively simple devices and read the instructions. In short thick people buy junk that is not suitable for the job they want it for, they do not have the savvy to realise this, they do not read the instructions and are unable to make it do what they want because the device cannot read their mind (not that there is much to read) and it might well be the wrong tool for the job anyway.

Deflecting their inadequacies onto someone that they perceive is in a position lower than them, who is not able to defend themselves gives them a feeling of power. They have been bullied so become bullies.

You have to develop the skills to defeat their simple little ideas.

Firstly, know everything about your products, try all of them out, know what they can and cannot do, what they should and should not be used for etc. Keep calm and defeat rudeness with, good manners, assertiveness (not anger or aggression, look up assertiveness) and knowledge. Be a figure of authority. It does not come with age, it comes with training (self or trainer sourced) and experience ( a few weeks of that will suffice).

The first thing you do is listen, then the first thing you say is "I understand how you must feel" even if you don´t know or care. Your complain is a serious matter, please let me deal with it. Take ownership, and control the situation. Please take a seat while I investigate. Then ask whatever questions of them you need to get that job done.

It is very very simple, once you have learnt to deal with your own emotions. Set them aside and do not take it personally. Be the bigger person. I have been doing this for years, and I never have anyone scream at me after I have spoken for the first time. Why? Because I always say I am sorry to hear that you have had a problem I take you seriously and I WILL deal with this for you. Passive voice always. Never say I am sorry in active voice! Then they see you as their champion, defending them against the faceless machine, not a part of it.

Always be honest. If it is not a quick fix tell them and keep them updated. Never say Mr so and so is not here or any other BS. Just say this might take a little while to sort out get contact details and offer to call in an hour, next day or by next Thursday, and keep that promise.

If it turns out (and it usually does ) that they have caused their own misfortune, do not tell them that. Say the product is designed to be used in this way for this purpose, is that what you need? If no sell them something else. If the product is faulty change it. There are a limited number of things that people complain about in any given service arena, learn what they are and have pre-arranged scripts for them all that are second nature and always work.

Keep It Simple!
Try your best to ignore it. I work as a waitress and I've lost count of the amount of times I've been accused of cooking an unsatisfactory meal, when it's the chef's issue and not mine!
Rude customers are the worst. They are impatient, disrespectful and harmful towards employees, especially those new to customer service. However, some customers seem to get a kick out of being awkward, and the person on the receiving end of it needs to know how to handle it in a mature and decent way. This mature and decent way is to ignore it. As much as you may want to scream in their face, this won't do you any favours and will only make matters worse. If they hurt you personally and attack you personally, then speak to your manager about it, and maybe you'd manager can talk through it with you and give you some better ways of dealing with it. Maybe consult your manager at the height of the problem, for example when you are being targeted, so they can see exactly how you are being treated. You are not alone in this, and try not to let silly people get to you. It's not worth your time, and I'm sure it's lovely when there are those nice customers who treat you with respect :smile:


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I call her a sad woman I had some nasty man say I sound like a man *******
I work in retail for 20 years and hate customers one woman cums in and goes on about my height then today a man said I sound like a man he knew a pig he was
I call her a sad woman I had some nasty man say I sound like a man horrible man
Oh my goodness you are an angel. Please stay that way. Do recognise that this person has real personality problems and use her as a barometer to make sure you never become like her. Very difficult in the situation and if you are like me (taking it home allowing her to cause more distress). I am actually 65 and I still find some people so condescending. You can’t change them and it’s all about how you deal with it. This is where the real test takes place. It is true to say it is not personal as much as it feels like it is. Would this person act like that if there was no counter in between? That seems to give them the right to believe they have power over you much in the same way road rage occurs. There will always be people like that - think of all the decent nice folk that outnumber them. I think you are amazing going to university and working at the weekend - you are not a victim - you are a shining star and please be kind to yourself and smile.
Original post by Kätzchen
Congratulate yourself on having been raised better. I sympathise, I've worked in retail for years - there's nothing you can do other than ignore such people; it's not your fault they're impatient, rude and aggressive.


I agree
You just have to rise above it, be professional and confident in yourself

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