I'm so scared about university.

This is what i'm scared of:
1)Moving out
2)Me and my boyfriend going to seperate unis
3)Everything being completely different (i don't like change)
4)The Primary Teaching Degree being too hard/demanding,
Seeing as i'm finding A-Levels hard now
5)Missing my boyfriend/mum.

:frown:

Anyone have advice?

Everytime i think of uni i just feel sick, everyone is so excited about the opportunity but i just can't get excited, even when i have looked round the unis. I can't take a gap year either because my whole family think they are a waste of time.
Do you think my worries are normal and i'll be fine; or do you think i should take a gap year?

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Reply 1

Double Agent

Prepare youself thoroughly. It sounds like you would be taking a gap year as a way of avoiding uni, dont do that. It is a great excercise in growing up and gaining independance, but with a bit of a safety net. I knew people who went home every weekend for months, even years through their degree, if you miss people there is no reason not to see them. If you get the grades required and get onto the course, then you will able to do it, academically. There is a wealth of support available if you feel you are struggling, at uni, or online and through other organisations. There really is no need to be scared, everyone is going through the same fears and thoughts, everyone is in it together.

Reply 2

Heranje

I think everyone is worried about things like this. Uni is a big change, and of course you'll be anxious about it. I think even people who are mostly excited feel a little nervous as well. More than likely, it'll be fine and you'll have an awesome time and feel silly for being so scared! At some point, you're going to have to take that step where you move away from your mum, and it may even be healthy to be away from your boyfriend a while. And I wouldn't worry about the degree - the difference between university and a levels is that you get to study something that you find truly interesting (unless you've made a bad choice), so even if the course is tricky you'll have a completely different motivation and interest in your subject!

However, if you really don't feel ready for university yet, you might want to take a gap year. I would advise against taking a completely "empty" one, though - I have friends who've stayed home a year to work random retail jobs, and pretty much all of them complain that they're really bored and have nothing to do. Maybe get a job that relates to primary education so you'll feel more prepared/take some kind of course/travel a bit if you have the money for that? If you make your gap year "meaningful", your family shouldn't think it's a waste, and you'll have some more time to process the change that's coming and be mentally ready for it. Just as I have friends who're unhappy on their gap years, I have friends who feel like they started their university degrees way too early and that they're not ready yet - and that's not a good feeling to have either.

Ultimately, think long and hard about what you want to do, forgetting your boyfriend and your family, and be aware that the change you're dreading will come eventually, and that loads of people who are scared ******** by it end up doing just fine - you'll probably be one of them. :smile:

Reply 3

sil3nt_cha0s

Split up with your boyfriend

/thread

Reply 4

Kerny

University isn't as big a jump as you think

Reply 5

mollymustard

Everyone is scared! I was absolutely petrified. Just have faith in yourself! I'm the wimpiest person ever, all my friends had bets on how many DAYS I'd last and my mum expected me to return immediately.
I love Uni and its the best thing I've ever done. As long as you throw youself into it you will definately get something out of it! Its nowhere near as daunting as you think as everyone is in the same boat, and freshers week is geared to help everyone who has never been away from home settle in.

Reply 6

Broderss

sil3nt_cha0s

Split up with your boyfriend

/thread

Nice to see a bit of compassion at this late hour.

Reply 7

Skycat

I was (and still am) similar to you in the sense that I hate change, I was happy in school doing my A-Levels and I didn't like the prospect of moving away to a new country, there were so many changes about to happen. Leaving friends behind, leaving Barcelona behind, entering higher education, I was nervous about engineering, etc.

On my flight over to the UK I started having second thoughts and it sort of hit me "What the hell am I doing?" but within 30 minutes of having arrived in Sheffield I knew I was in for an amazing time and I forgot about my nervousness and haven't felt homesick once.

University is the best thing that's happened to me, period. The 3 months in the first semester were THE best weeks of my life, I'm having an absolutely amazing time. I made even better friends than I did back home, I feel really happy and comfortable here, and coping with my degree, I don't miss my family at all, and overall I feel fantastic. About you and your boyfriend going to different unis - what's the distance? Either way, just try to visit each other as regularly as you can, I'm sure it'll be fine. :smile:

Reply 8

ohvirginia

it's normal to be a bit scared. even a lot scared. it'd be more unusual if you weren't AT ALL. i was terrified before i left for uni, like really, but it's a new experience and anything that takes you out of your comfort zone is a tiny success in itself. as long as you're "good scared" like i was, i think you should go to uni. if it's bad scared, like it's affecting you negatively, then have another think and TALK to people about it! don't keep it inside cos it'll eat you up. good luck :smile:

Reply 9

member312105

I was the same. I won't lie, I ended up on and off depressed for the first time, but hopefully that won't happen to you.

I went to my boyfriend's every single week (bar two - once when he came to mine, once when I was away) and that's fine if you need that and he's happy with it. I wouldn't make plans for when you'll see him and how often etc - I think we originally said every two weeks or something, but I couldn't cope with that in the end.

Reply 10

Tom.

wrenage

Heranje

...

I agree with Heranje. If you are really that pessimistic about the thought of uni, take a year out. Learn more about uni life in this time, and what's to be in store. Research your course, stay on tsr and find information on other peoples experiences.

On the other hand, going to uni is less daunting than you would think.

You are set up to meet a lot of different people, some you like, some you don't but that's the experience. You will try new and exciting things too and you can join numerous groups to keep you sane :P

I completely messed up my first year at uni for being nervous and generally not ready for the step, but i did the false start and began again and this time i knew what i was in for, and i put the work and effort in to succeed and i'm now about to graduate in a few short months.

About the boyfriend thing, you can come to an arrangement. Meet him at weekends and things, it will be difficult but thousands of people like you make it work.

Stick in!

Reply 11

TK2 King Pin

ahhh what?

embrace change otherwise you'll do nothing with your life

im not going to uni i'm moving to dubai
and no, i don't fear i'll miss anyone, instead i look forward to it

Reply 12

patientology

mollymustard

Everyone is scared!

No.
But nice try.

Reply 13

Undiscovery

Double Agent

It is a great excercise in growing up and gaining independance, but with a bit of a safety net.

You grow up on a gap year. So why are you telling her not to take one? She sounds as though she is not ready for university, so taking some time out might help. It's definitely not avoiding it.

Reply 14

Malsy

Take a gap year. Uni will be there waiting for you, no biggie.

Reply 15

bittersweetxsymphony

Your worries are completely normal. I hate change and I'm a really homely person so I hate having my life uprooted. I'm scared of living in halls with people who drive me mad. But it's the experience that counts. You will meet loads of people at uni, some of them you will love and some you will despise! I think that once you get adjusted you will find that you love uni, it's so scary to begin with but you just have to remember that everyone's in the same boat.
Are you going to a uni that's far away from your home? If you go to the one that's closest to your home you can still move out and get your independance but you won't have too far to go if you want to see your Mum. That's what I'm planning to do anyway.

If you don't want to go to uni now and don't feel ready then take a gap year! Sod what your family thinks this is your life, not theirs. You could go travelling which will be good for gaining independance and getting away from home or you could just work and earn more money so that your uni debts will be less horrific.
Good luck xx

Reply 16

graemematt

University is just like school except about 1000x times more fun and 10000x more independance. I'm sure you'll arrive and never want to leave after Fresher's Week! :biggrin:

I can understand why the change in environment scares you, but once you learn to embrace your new surroundings, it can be a fantastic experience! Which uni you going to??