Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Are muslims allowed to date?

Announcements Posted on
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    muslims are also people man. My religion forbids me frm a lot of things...but in our contemporary world ...certain stuff that my religion says cant be followed. So no harm in that. Muslims are humans too...they have the same feelings as we do and they feel the same way as all of us do emotionally etc. i think its each and every individual's way abt it. Everyone has a choice...and their choice as to how to go about life is their own problem...not others. if u choose to live by the code...well and good. Thats doesnt mean those who dont are sluts or watever!!!
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rasta)
    There's no double standards there at all. I think a woman who has sex before marriage is a slut. I think a man who has sex before marriage is a man-slut. I've got the same amount of respect for both men and women who engage in pre or extra-marital sex - none. How is that a double standard? A man who has sex before marriage is just as much of a slut as a woman who does.
    In your previous post you didn't mention men, only women (on several occasions) - hence the reasonable conclusion of double standards.

    (Original post by Rasta)
    It's not the analogy that's disgusting, it's the act itself. Why should I be afraid to simply post my views? I won't pander to people who think sex before marriage is fine, because I firmly believe it isn't.
    Well, you're entitled to your views, though a little less aggression might not be inadvisable.

    (Original post by Rasta)
    Why is it crass and offensive? If you find it crass and offensive, you're too scared of looking at the truth of it then.
    "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free". Yes, I still find it crass and offensive on a number of levels. For example, the comparison to a farm animal squandering its produce - is a person simply sex on tap the distribution of which must be carefully controlled? It also strikes me as a sad way to look at the nature of relationships and marriage. It suggests that the only reason people marry is for the sex (so that you can "get the milk"). Withhold the sex and you might just entice the other person into proposing...

    Let me assure you, however, that I am in no way "scared of the truth", as you put it. I do not think that pre-marital sex is immoral or wrong. I do not think that I am a slut, nor do I think that my boyfriend of ten years is a man-slut (though he did find the label amusing). I think that you attribute entirely too much importance to the physical at the expense of the other elements of a relationship. Would you, for example, be equally disturbed by the idea that your husband-to-be had been emotionally intimate with someone else, even if nothing physically untoward had taken place?

    (Original post by Rasta)
    Also, what's being a 'self-respecting woman' got to do with it? Are girls meant to have looser views about this or something?
    You have taken my comment completely out of context. I said that I found it hard to believe that a self-respecting woman could come up with the sort of double-standard, chauvinistic views which you expressed in your post. Whether a self-respecting woman thinks sex before marriage is wrong is a different issue (and in my opinion a woman can respect herself and believe either).

    By the way, you haven't replied to my questions about re-marriage. I await your views eagerly.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Manatee)
    In your previous post you didn't mention men, only women (on several occasions) - hence the reasonable conclusion of double standards.



    Well, you're entitled to your views, though a little less aggression might not be inadvisable.



    "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free". Yes, I still find it crass and offensive on a number of levels. For example, the comparison to a farm animal squandering its produce - is a person simply sex on tap the distribution of which must be carefully controlled? It also strikes me as a sad way to look at the nature of relationships and marriage. It suggests that the only reason people marry is for the sex (so that you can "get the milk"). Withhold the sex and you might just entice the other person into proposing...

    Let me assure you, however, that I am in no way "scared of the truth", as you put it. I do not think that pre-marital sex is immoral or wrong. I do not think that I am a slut, nor do I think that my boyfriend of ten years is a man-slut (though he did find the label amusing). I think that you attribute entirely too much importance to the physical at the expense of the other elements of a relationship. Would you, for example, be equally disturbed by the idea that your husband-to-be had been emotionally intimate with someone else, even if nothing physically untoward had taken place?



    You have taken my comment completely out of context. I said that I found it hard to believe that a self-respecting woman could come up with the sort of double-standard, chauvinistic views which you expressed in your post. Whether a self-respecting woman thinks sex before marriage is wrong is a different issue (and in my opinion a woman can respect herself and believe either).

    By the way, you haven't replied to my questions about re-marriage. I await your views eagerly.

    Bravo! i await ur reply to hers!!!
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rasta)
    There's no double standards there at all. I think a woman who has sex before marriage is a slut. I think a man who has sex before marriage is a man-slut. I've got the same amount of respect for both men and women who engage in pre or extra-marital sex - none. How is that a double standard? A man who has sex before marriage is just as much of a slut as a woman who does.

    It's not the analogy that's disgusting, it's the act itself. Why should I be afraid to simply post my views? I won't pander to people who think sex before marriage is fine, because I firmly believe it isn't.

    Why is it crass and offensive? If you find it crass and offensive, you're too scared of looking at the truth of it then.

    Also, what's being a 'self-respecting woman' got to do with it? Are girls meant to have looser views about this or something?
    You only mentioned women being slutty, if you meant men and women, maybe be a little more even handed with your comments.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Slut is a slang term used to indicate a person who has frequent sexual relationships with different people, especially short-term affairs.
    From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut

    So according to that, people who have sex before marriage aren't necessarily sluts.

    Rasta, I asked you a question which you are yet to answer. Why is having sex with my boyfriend of three years, and only him, slutty? I'm still interested to hear why you think that having sex before marriage equates to sleeping around, too.

    Its quite ironic that this debate came out of discussion of morals. I find it hard to believe that anyone with a 'good set of morals', as you put it, would judge others as harshly as you are. You're certainly entitled to your opinions, but so are the rest of us.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Sex was around along time before marriage!! What if you get married to your arranged partner and decide you dont like sex with him or he dosent fulfiil you as a man /woman should do? What if hes/shes naff at oral sex !!! omg!!! life without oral!!!!! sorry to be soooo crass but nobody has brought these issuses up and i was just curious thats all.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Well...I would think that love in a marriage (or almost any relationship) is more important than whether or not they're "naff at oral".

    But you make a good point, sex was around before marriage. What changed and made sex before marriage immoral?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by amie)
    Well...I would think that love in a marriage (or almost any relationship) is more important than whether or not they're "naff at oral".

    But you make a good point, sex was around before marriage. What changed and made sex before marriage immoral?
    I know im cringing at "naff at oral" statment !! sowwie xx
    • 4 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    bah personally i find marriage over-rated...
    nowerdays its just a few words of vows and signing a paper.. basically its letting society to accept the couple and aknowledge them? i really dont see what else getting 'married' does...
    and here im meant to be muslim...
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by amie)
    But you make a good point, sex was around before marriage. What changed and made sex before marriage immoral?
    Monotheistic religion springs to mind...
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    what would happen if a Muslim has sex before marriage
    • 4 followers
    Online

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kinza75)
    what would happen if a Muslim has sex before marriage
    well if no one knows nothing!
    if there was a huge scandal? depends on the family.. some would keep their heads down and ignore.. some would disown.. each to his/her own :P
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    can Muslims marry non-muslims?
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    A Muslim man may marry a Christian or Jewish woman. A Muslim woman may only marry a Muslim man - it's do with preserving the right of a Muslim woman to practise her religion, and because religion is passed on from the father.
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    why a christian or jewish woman? where does it stipulate that in the Qu'ran? my cousin(female) is married to a muslim man. neither of them have converted religions or anything (but i don't think he's a very strict practising muslim anyway)
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by priya)
    why a christian or jewish woman? where does it stipulate that in the Qu'ran? my cousin(female) is married to a muslim man. neither of them have converted religions or anything (but i don't think he's a very strict practising muslim anyway)
    Because Christians and Jews are People of the Book. Was reading that surah the other day, will look up the ref later. What religion's your cous (if you don't mind me asking)?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Rasta,

    How about replying to my posts here and here ? I'm genuinely curious to know what you think.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by amie)
    Rasta, I asked you a question which you are yet to answer. Why is having sex with my boyfriend of three years, and only him, slutty? I'm still interested to hear why you think that having sex before marriage equates to sleeping around, too.
    I'm interested in getting a response to my questions, too
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rasta)
    Because Christians and Jews are People of the Book. Was reading that surah the other day, will look up the ref later. What religion's your cous (if you don't mind me asking)?
    she's hindu. not a strict one mind (she wouldn't have dated and married her husband otherwise) but she still takes part in hindu ceremonies- e.g hindu baby showers (7 month bangle ceremony )
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Racht70)
    Sex was around along time before marriage!! What if you get married to your arranged partner and decide you dont like sex with him or he dosent fulfiil you as a man /woman should do? What if hes/shes naff at oral sex !!! omg!!! life without oral!!!!! sorry to be soooo crass but nobody has brought these issuses up and i was just curious thats all.
    sex was not around before marriage, i thought adam and eve were married. Can any educated muslims clarify this for me.
Updated: August 7, 2005
New on TSR

Student crowdfunds degree

Graduate raises £26,000 online for Masters course

Article updates
Useful resources
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.