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Boyfriend 'deciding whether to dump me' because of my stripper past

So I've been going out with this guy for a couple months now, and although he knew most things about me right from the start, I with-held certain information about my past, ie. stripper.

I kind of explained what I did, e.g. lingerie waitressing at a strip club, which is the truth, but I just didn't tell him it led to stripping. It's not the type of thing I'm comfortable with revealing to everyone, lol, I work in a law firm as a receptionist now part-time while fnishing my degree.

Anyway so I confessed to him yesterday, because my conscience got the better of me and now he won't talk to me. He says he needs a week to think about whether he should dump me or not, as I'm 'no longer good enough' for him and his family, yet he 'still likes' me. :rolleyes:

I'm quite annoyed tbh, because I have otherwise been a very loyal and thoughtful girlfriend to him, even cancelling work a couple of times to help him move house. I'm not sure what to think now.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Sorry this thread is supposed to be called: "Boyfriend 'deciding whether to dump me' because of my stripper PAST", not sure what happened there.

Oops...

Reply 2

The1truebelieber

This is why you don't lie about your past, some people just aren't interested in ex-strippers (or in more extreme cases ex-escorts).

You lied to him so give him time to think, if you don't value him enough for that then feel free to leave.

Reply 3

Miss_Scarlett

HDS

This.

Just give him some time OP.

Reply 4

Draculara

well i do understand him being a bit upset or insecure about it but 'you're not good enough for me and my family' is not cool. Maybe he will calm down about it over the next week. If not i think it will be an unreasonable thing to dump you for. Maybe he's more upset that you hid it? i think thats how it would be for me

Reply 5

Mr_Deeds

Whilst you shouldn't have lied to him, OP, it's perhaps understandable why you did and everybody has things in their past which they'd rather not talk about or share with other people. I think he's a bit out of order to say that you're no longer good enough for him; that's a tiny bit shallow. If he does finish with you because of this then he probably wasn't worth it in the first place. If he does actually care about you then he'll forget about it and move on. But you did the right thing by telling him. :smile:

Reply 6

Laconic

Miss_Scarlett

This.

Just give him some time OP.

Time is money to her though :wink:

Reply 7

iamkund

You lied to him. He has every right to ditch your ass.

Reply 8

sophyy

iamkund

You lied to him. He has every right to ditch your ass.

this

Reply 9

Miss_Scarlett

Laconic

Time is money to her though :wink:

ooooo harsh :p:

(dont listen to him OP! :yep:

)

Reply 10

maxfire

HDS

Yeah, but what would you do if a girl said to you "I'm an ex-stripper" when she first met you. The only type of guy she'd get are guys that would use her for sex, and decent guys would feel a bit weird about it. And she told the whole story in the end didn't she.

OP, if he's a decent bloke, he'll put himself in your position and see that obviously you wouldn't go round telling people you just met that you are a stripper, and that you just didn't want to scare him off. I'd say he feels a bit intimidated that so many men have seen you naked, and might feel like a bit of a downgrade from the cliché 'stripper's boyfriend'. So try and work with that to make him feel better.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

She hasn't lied.

Not many dudes just randomly ask their girlfriend "Did you used to be a stripper?" - so I don't suppose hse has been actively dishonest/denied it.

She hasn't revealed everything about herself.. but noone reveals everything about themselves straight away to their partner.

She has only been going out with him a few months. It's not like she's left it years to tell him.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

iamkund

You lied to him. He has every right to ditch your ass.

I never lie to him or anyone! I just with-held *that* bit of information. The rest was the truth, e.g. what I did before that, where I worked etc. I didn't say 'I didn't do stripping'. :smile:

Reply 13

kai4321

Meh, you did the right thing by telling him. It's all up to him so I guess give him some time to think. I can see your point of view and I would be greatly annoyed too but at the same time I can understand his point of view because it is a bit weird for some guys - even if it was in the PAST.

Like someone else said: if he wants to be with you then great, if not, he clearly wasn't worth it.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Laconic

Time is money to her though :wink:

Haha that's gold! I nearly feel like repping you, made me lol. Even tho not true :wink:

Well, not anymore! I quit over 6 months ago. I now work very hard in a law firm, in a different city, and study.

Reply 15

username156343

Tbf to her you wouldn't exactly announce something like that on your first date.

I personally don't see the problem and the boyfriend is being a jerk. If he really liked you he wouldn't care about your past, the fact the is saying things like you aren't good enough for his family just screams ********.

Get rid of him before he even gets back to you, you shouldn't have to think about this sort of thing.

Reply 16

concubine

I wouldn't really care if a girl I was seeing as an ex stripper or a current stripper, an escort/prostitute, yeah, but not stripper.

I mean I'm sure most people I know have seen me naked... I wish I got paid for it. :\

1 week isn't really anything though so if you really like him I'd give him that time.

Reply 17

The1truebelieber

maxfire

When she first met me.... :rolleyes:

Read the OP. She's been with him for months and she's told him she used to serve in a strip club....if she felt comfortable saying that she could have said about stripping.

If a girl said that to me, depending on the circumstances and girl I would either not care or be uninterested in her as (generally and overall) it isn't compatible with what I want.

She told the whole story (in the end) but it's quite an elaborate lie to pull off if you think about it (would you not as any questions if your girlfriend said she used to do lingerie waitressing at a strip club?). So it truly is her fault. While I'm sorry for her, that's life, if you lie be prepared to lie convincingly and all the way through, otherwise don't because it will bite you in the ass.

OP, if he's a decent bloke, he'll put himself in your position and see that obviously you wouldn't go round telling people you just met that you are a stripper, and that you just didn't want to scare him off. I'd say he feels a bit intimidated that so many men have seen you naked, and might feel like a bit of a downgrade from the cliché 'stripper's boyfriend'. So try and work with that to make him feel better.

She's been with him multiple months.

Like I said, just because he's not interested in being the boyfriend of an ex-stripper doesn't make him a bad guy.

Some people are (for various reasons) just not interested in ex-strippers, it's something that you need to realize and be prepared for when you work in the adult industry. Some people aren't bothered by it, some are. Some of those who go into the adult industry are able to deal with the more restricted set of potential partners, some aren't. Those who aren't didn't think it though well enough and if that's the case, tough.

Reply 18

The1truebelieber

Rizzletastic

You're joking right?

It's not about a first date, besides which she's already told him she worked in a strip club, why not the whole truth?

Why should he and his family have to settle for a girl who worked in the adult industry if they don't want to. To work in the adult industry you need a certain set of morals and beliefs.

A militant atheist wouldn't get with an evangelical christian, so why is this any different? :rolleyes:

Reply 19

The1truebelieber

I absolutely love how everyone makes this out to be a first-date type of thing. She has been going out with her boyfriend for several months. She obviously felt comfortable enough to discuss her work doing 'lingerie waitressing' with him. :rolleyes: