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Very easily for me personally. I can just make myself not come indefinitely, but I can also make myself come quickly. I'm in full control of it, really.
If I wanted to come I'd focus more on the girl, and the sex, and how she looks, and I'd get a lot more vigorous. Don't know what else to say really.
If I wanted to come I'd focus more on the girl, and the sex, and how she looks, and I'd get a lot more vigorous. Don't know what else to say really.
I think about dead old people, though that can make it go too much the other way...
It's not too difficult, once you learn how. There are men who think of dead people / do maths / something else very unsexy (sorry mathematicians!) but that's not necessary.
The basic idea is that you can learn to tell - probably while masturbating - when you are getting near to coming. Then, when you notice that you're getting close, but you don't want to come just yet, you do something less stimulating until your arousal goes down a bit.
Thank you for pointing out that many women do not want intercourse that lasts for hours. If you look around here, you will find posts like 'Oh noes, I do X, Y, and Z so that I can **** for an hour, but she still doesn't come and I don't enjoy it much either.'
What I do is let my partner know that I am close to coming. If they want it to last longer, they can say so. If they don't, telling me they want me to come inside them, now, helps that happen too
Win - win, really.
The basic idea is that you can learn to tell - probably while masturbating - when you are getting near to coming. Then, when you notice that you're getting close, but you don't want to come just yet, you do something less stimulating until your arousal goes down a bit.
Thank you for pointing out that many women do not want intercourse that lasts for hours. If you look around here, you will find posts like 'Oh noes, I do X, Y, and Z so that I can **** for an hour, but she still doesn't come and I don't enjoy it much either.'
What I do is let my partner know that I am close to coming. If they want it to last longer, they can say so. If they don't, telling me they want me to come inside them, now, helps that happen too
Win - win, really.
This is something which has been bugging me recently as well. I lost my virginity to my girlfriend a few days ago, but for some reason I couldn't come at all during sex.
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
Any advice?
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
Any advice?
Anonymous
This is something which has been bugging me recently as well. I lost my virginity to my girlfriend a few days ago, but for some reason I couldn't come at all during sex.
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
Any advice?
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
Any advice?
May have been some nerves, were you going soft at any point?
nase14_aldayz
May have been some nerves, were you going soft at any point?
A couple of times during foreplay yeah.
Don't get me wrong, I know I was nervous. But still, that really didn't help matters.
My girlfriend said she was fine with it all [she's a bit more experienced than me] but it really p****d me off. Not amused.
Anonymous
A couple of times during foreplay yeah.
Don't get me wrong, I know I was nervous. But still, that really didn't help matters.
My girlfriend said she was fine with it all [she's a bit more experienced than me] but it really p****d me off. Not amused.
Don't get me wrong, I know I was nervous. But still, that really didn't help matters.
My girlfriend said she was fine with it all [she's a bit more experienced than me] but it really p****d me off. Not amused.
It's not the worst thing that could have happened. Once you gain a bit more confidence with it and completely focus on what you're doing it'll happen.
It is unusual though, during my first time my mind was everywhere and all manner of things were (and weren't) going on.
From friends that I've spoken to, something or other untoward happens the first time round, so don't worry about it.
Selkarn
Reading this, am I lucky in that I can be really engaged in sex, and fully focused on sexual thoughts, and still just not come?
Was thinking the same thing.
Do some guys really think about retarded stuff like old people/maths/gore etc. just to stop themselves cumming? Surely stopping yourself from enjoying sex eliminates the point of having it in the first place.
Anonymous
This is something which has been bugging me recently as well. I lost my virginity to my girlfriend a few days ago, but for some reason I couldn't come at all during sex.
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
This isn't a whole 'look how long I lasted' thing, I'm genuinely suprised and a little concerned actually. Was fully expecting to last a few minutes at best, but we actually stopped after about 40 mins or so because it just wasn't going to happen.
See elsewhere here - it's not uncommon. It took me about a month of having intercourse several times a week before I could come as a result.
You've been masturbating for years and years and have become very used to how that feels. Being inside a vagina feels different, and different again if you're using a condom, and it often takes a while to experience those different sensations as pleasurable enough to lead to orgasm. (There's also no rule that says it has to, and it's ok to stop and do something else that does.)
Good to see your partner was fine about it - some women take him not coming through intercourse personally. If you're worried about hurting her via sex, make sure she lets you know how vigorous she wants it: you may be surprised.
Thinking about it, I quite like that I didn't come the first time. It means I have special memories of the time I first did as well.
C.C.G
Surely stopping yourself from enjoying sex eliminates the point of having it in the first place.
Ditto wearing penis-numbing condoms. Yes, I know some men hate coming quickly but if I wanted not to feel anything, I'd use a dildo.
What you want is to be able to come when you want, and whether that's quickly or slowly for that individual time doesn't really matter.
Related discussions
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- How much tongue is too much tongue??
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