Higher History- extended essay

Hi,

We are currently preparing our extended essays for the test in March. I have chosen: how important was the leadership of Hitler to the Nazis rise to power 1919-1933. However, I have had some trouble with the content of the essay, though most importantly I have been told that my introduction is weak and that I need to set the scene.

This is my intro so far:

The leadership of Hitler was not only an important factor to the rise of the Nazi party; it was the key to its success. Hitler was able to use his powerful leadership and oratory skills, firstly to seize control of the party and then to gain rapid support from the German people. Although it could be argued that their were many other factors that brought the Nazi party to power: the use of force through which the Nazis crushed all who opposed them; the convincing and innovative propaganda they created; their policies through which they offered something for everyone; the economic and political situation in Germany and although it did not directly contribute to the Nazi rise to power, the brainwashing techniques used on the youth of Germany to try and stay in power.

Any suggestions on how to improve the intro and set the scene would be appreciated. Also any help on the essay question in general would be a great help.

thanks,

a8gm

Reply 1

Jenima

Hi, I just read your intro and I don´t think it is that "weak", everything you say is true, basically, but maybe its not complete. Hitler was very powerful indeed but he had several powerful people to help him, like with the propaganda, brainwash and everything. Maybe you could say that he took control over the party and created the whole ideology, do you know his book "Mein Kampf?" I can try to help you if you want and tell you some of the things we learned about how the Nazis and Hitler managed to get control over Germany, we talked about it in class in great detail and for ages :rolleyes:

What exactly do you mean by set the scene?

Reply 2

Genocidal

Maybe add a quote from a source or quote from a historian?

Reply 3

miranda-ae

Its good, but not particularly scene setting or engaging, its rather more like the abstract that you will right.

Maybe start it with an anecdote or quote (not necessarily a contempory/historians one) that you believe captures your PoV? Just gives it a bit more individuality and makes it more interesting :smile:

Reply 4

hjl09

a8gm

The leadership of Hitler was not only an important factor to the rise of the Nazi party; it was the key to its success. Hitler was able to use his powerful leadership and oratory skills, firstly to seize control of the party and then to gain rapid support from the German people. Although it could be argued that their were many other factors that brought the Nazi party to power: the use of force through which the Nazis crushed all who opposed them; the convincing and innovative propaganda they created; their policies through which they offered something for everyone; the economic and political situation in Germany and although it did not directly contribute to the Nazi rise to power, the brainwashing techniques used on the youth of Germany to try and stay in power.

Well there are a couple of grammar issues you could work out, but that's not a major thing at this stage.

The last sentence is a bit of an epic, try cutting that down into 2 sentences maybe? The first sentence is a very bold claim, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you could make the links between Hitler's leadership and the other factors more explicit.

E.g. the importance of Hitler's leadership, by way of the image of Hitler, in the success of the propaganda. That could also be linked to the campaigns for German Youth, and the way they were inextricably linked to Hitler himself - 'Hitler Youth' etc. - as well as the big rallies and Hitler's almost rock star like image there.

When I wrote my EE I was told to make sure I had put why the topic chosen was significant to a modern day audience. Have a think about that while you write the rest of the essay maybe.

I hope this helped!! My EE is out of the way now - the relief is incredible! Have fun writing the essay, and sorry my answer itself is a bit extended :wink:

Reply 5

The Young Economist

http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/riseofhitler/party.htm

???

Simple google search could help

Reply 6

a8gm

Thanks to everyone for their help I will take all of these things into account when making my new intro and the rest of my essay. :smile:

Reply 7

moonshine_1991

I would put a quote in there somewhere. I did mine a couple of years ago on appeasement and started with its definition. I wrote something like- ""Feeding the crocodile, hoping he'll eat you last" was Winston Churchill's definition of appeasement...".