Uncomfortable with boyfriends close female friend

My boyfriend is on a female dominated course and as a result has a fair few female friends, which has never bothered me at all. He's pretty close with one in particular though and it's started to make me feel uncomfortable.

They text a lot, he's very protective of her and they're at the cinema together now.... I feel like i shouldn't be jealous at all, because it's completely normal for friends to go to the cinema together - but as it's just the too of them i'm absoloutley green with envy. I tend to over analyse the little things really, like him inviting her to go and stay at his home for the weekend.

We were all out last night, she got a bit too drunk and upset and left with her flatmate who was more than capable of looking after her yet i overheard him on the phone saying he'd go over and check on her. At which point i flipped and now feel like a prize idiot for doing so.

I'm pretty piss poor at explaining it but i'd just like to know peoples opinions on it really. Am i being completely ridiculous ?

yes a little

Waiting.

My boyfriend is on a female dominated course and as a result has a fair few female friends, which has never bothered me at all. He's pretty close with one in particular though and it's started to make me feel uncomfortable.

They text a lot, he's very protective of her and they're at the cinema together now.... I feel like i shouldn't be jealous at all, because it's completely normal for friends to go to the cinema together - but as it's just the too of them i'm absoloutley green with envy. I tend to over analyse the little things really, like him inviting her to go and stay at his home for the weekend.

We were all out last night, she got a bit too drunk and upset and left with her flatmate who was more than capable of looking after her yet i overheard him on the phone saying he'd go over and check on her. At which point i flipped and now feel like a prize idiot for doing so.

I'm pretty piss poor at explaining it but i'd just like to know peoples opinions on it really. Am i being completely ridiculous ?

You're not being completely ridiculous, you're just a little paranoid.. We all get like that sometimes :smile:

I think you should talk it over with him and see what he says.
If he's really the man you think he is he'll support you, be understand & it'll be fine.
x

Reply 3

tehjonny

8

The fact it is just them as a two makes it weird for me. Sure he can have female friends...but he shouldn't be choosing a female over his gf to hang out with and spend time with.

For me as a guy, I wouldn't do that. I'd go out with male friends in the kind of scenarios you describe. That would be far more normal and non-suspicious.

Reply 4

Hanner_Spanner

tehjonny

The fact it is just them as a two makes it weird for me. Sure he can have female friends...but he shouldn't be choosing a female over his gf to hang out with and spend time with.

This!

Reply 5

Becksy

I think that you have good reasons to be suspicious.

Reply 6

ellie_k

I'd be weird about it tbh. Just the two of them seems like a kind of date thing rather than as friends. If it was a gathering then fine, but i'd feel guilty going to the cinema with just one other guy.

Reply 7

TheCurlyHairedDude

3

You have every reason to be suspicious.

He's tapping that.

Wait, at the cinema with her? Alone?

I was in a similar position as you; my girlfriend had a guy she was close friends with. She'd go and see his football matches (never came to my tennis games, the bitch), she'd go round the bar he used to work at after closing time etc. Although I knew he was her close friend, but didn't realise all this was going on.

You can guess the rest.

If I were you, I'd either dump him or teach him a lesson. He's not showing you the respect you deserve as his girlfriend by going to the cinema alone with another girl, or inviting her round his for the weekend. It's unacceptable, and simply disgraceful.

Reply 10

waterinabottle

Notker

He's tapping that.

Most probably.

Reply 11

Socially Awkward Penguin

He's got you hook, line and sinker!

Reply 12

The Baron

8

Notker

He's tapping that.

Hell yeh he is.

Reply 13

Socially Awkward Penguin

They're sharing a night of debauchery. Go and ambush 'em Cheaters-style.

Reply 14

Waiting.

OP

5

He's not the cheating type, at all. My worry is he has feelings for her and he's just settling with me untill he can make things happen with her. How do i go about talking to him about it without sounding like a psycho girlfriend?
He's always said how he loves how relaxed i am about things, i'd hate to spoil that.

Reply 15

SebWillis

Waiting.

I tend to over analyse the little things really, like him inviting her to go and stay at his home for the weekend. Am i being completely ridiculous ?

What. The. ****?? Why isn't he inviting you to stay at his house for the weekend? I wouldn't spend as much time as you've described with some other girl if I had a girlfriend. I don't think you're being ridiculous at all.

Reply 16

Nutta!

10

Haha, you are an idiot lol

HEY, if you can't keep hold of your man.. maybe he does have feelings for her..

The best gf are usually the ones that were his 'best mate' in the first place..

I would look at what you are doing.. why should be with you, if she could be a better catch?

Reply 17

amylase55

Him inviting her to stay at his house for the weekend sounds like crossing the line to me!
There is a certain amount of respect he has to uphold. Was in intentional just the two of them going to the cinema? Or did it just turn out that way because all his other friends were busy or something?
Definately tell him how you feel, its not fair on you. Maybe he is trying to make you jealous? Either way it doesnt look good on his part!