Bf sex question

I don’t know if I should be posting this here (or at all really) :redface:

Ive been going out with my bf for about two years now. We have a sex life. I’m his first girlfriend, and he hasn’t been with anyone else (in a sexual sense). When we do sleep together, I never get any pleasure, it’s like I just…can’t feel a thing. He always manages to climax though. I don’t really mind it that much, it’s just sometimes feels like I’m just doing it to please him, and I never get anything out of it. I don’t want to bring the subject up with him really, what can I do? :redface:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

TKR

hasnt he ever gone down on you?

or you know given it a bit of manual stimulation with the hand?

and by it i mean your CLITORIS!

Reply 2

Kura1984

TKR

hasnt he ever gone down on you?

or you know given it a bit of manual stimulation with the hand?

and by it i mean your CLITORIS!

Well said!

You need some extensive foreplay. That can usully sort the problem out. But, in order for this to work, your guy needs to work on you! :rolleyes:

Reply 3

pikaboo

Foreplay! If that doesn't work (by which I mean not necessarily a climax, just getting some pleasure out of it at least) then it could be you're finding him less attractive, you need to relax or experiment more.

Reply 4

Dude

Do you know what you want though?

Do you know what you want him to do to you?

Reply 5

blissy

DO you fancy the pants off him? That has a LOT to do with it.
Also, you need lots of nice romance and talking and then touching that ISN'T your rude bits for you to be ready to be turned on.

Reply 6

Multiplexed

Just talk to him, you've been together for 2 years. Surely that means something!

Reply 7

TKR

best piece of advice though first is that you should talk ot him about it. right sex isnt everything but its a very big part of a relationship and if you'r enot getting anything out of it it needs sorting!

Reply 8

TKR

blissy

DO you fancy the pants off him? That has a LOT to do with it.
Also, you need lots of nice romance and talking and then touching that ISN'T your rude bits for you to be ready to be turned on.

Hehe, once again my ignorance of female sexuality is uncovered! :ninja:

thanks a lot blissy! :eek:

Reply 9

kingslaw

Get him to go down on you. It never, ever fails. If you can't get any pleasure from that, then at some point in your life your clitoris was replaced with a brick :smile:

Reply 10

SamTheMan

Hayley_2k4

I don’t know if I should be posting this here (or at all really) :redface:

A lot of girls simply can't climax, sometimes it's because of the guy she's with. Even cunnilingus has no effect (kingslaw :rolleyes:

) in that case. It's sometimes physiological or simply the girl can't "let go".

I'm surprised he's never been bothered by the fact you haven't had an orgasm... either he's a bit naive, which might be possible considering he's only been with you or he just doesn't care.
How can you be sleeping with someone if you can't bring such a subject up? It seems like the most basic conversation you can have with someone you're sleeping with. I don't quite get how some couples work... :confused:

Reply 11

TKR

kingslaw

Get him to go down on you. It never, ever fails. If you can't get any pleasure from that, then at some point in your life your clitoris was replaced with a brick :smile:

hehe nice and to the point

Reply 12

pikaboo

Go straight for the rude bits and it can hurt. Not pleasurable at all. I think most women need pre-foreplay, sorry to confuse you further guys :tongue:

Reply 13

Dude

SamTheMan

A lot of girls simply can't climax, sometimes it's because of the guy she's with. I'm surprised he's never been bothered by the fact you haven't had an orgasm... either he's a bit naive, which might be possible considering he's only been with you or he just doesn't care.
How can you be sleeping with someone if you can't bring such a subject up? It seems like the most basic conversation you can have with someone you're sleeping with. I don't quite get how some couples work... :confused:

Maybe she's been faking it this whole time?

Reply 14

SamTheMan

TKR

hehe nice and to the point

yeah but not really applicable. Quite a number of girls who've started being sexually active for a year or two have never had an orgasm. It's usually nothing to do with all the technical bits. It's just that they're not in that frame of mind to let go and have an orgasm.
Although, since she hasn't brought this up with her boyfriend, it seems more like a problem in their relationship.

Reply 15

Helenia

You need to talk about it, and just take time finding out what you enjoy and what works for you.

And we need to keep this thread clean. *looks at TKR and kingslaw*

Reply 16

ciara

SamTheMan

A lot of girls simply can't climax, sometimes it's because of the guy she's with. Even cunnilingus has no effect (kingslaw :rolleyes:

) in that case. It's sometimes physiological or simply the girl can't "let go".

Hmm, psychological problem Vs. the guy not having a clue about pleasing his girlfriend.. I know which one my money's on!

But I agree that you should be able to talk to this after 2 years, and it seems weird he hasn't been concerned. Have you been, you know, making all the right noises?

Cxx

Reply 17

pikaboo

Helenia

You need to talk about it, and just take time finding out what you enjoy and what works for you.

And we need to keep this thread clean. *looks at TKR and kingslaw*

Yeah kingslaw! Peeeeeeeerve.

perve.

And I've always thought it a lose-lose situation if you fake it. The one time it might be real it'll probably sound different and then he'll get suspicious and then it's all complicated and annoying. *nods piously*

Reply 18

kingslaw

Helenia

You need to talk about it, and just take time finding out what you enjoy and what works for you.

And we need to keep this thread clean. *looks at TKR and kingslaw*

We're going to discuss female orgasms without mentioning the clitoris?

This should be fun...

Reply 19

SamTheMan

ciara

It's not a "psychological problem" per se. It's very common apparently, just not something girls want to admit to, even to their friends. The sex can be great, communication within the couple perfect and the guy can do exactly everything the girl likes and the girl can't reach an orgasm. One problem can be if a girl is too used to stimulating herself, then the day she's with a guy, she has to discover pleasure in a different way. It can be tricky...

Though, considering the info she's provided, it seems like a relationship issue. How can this go on for 2 years :confused:

That's the great thing about young girl (sounding like a perv there) : they'll stay with a guy who can't make them come for 2 years, whereas with a 25-year old, if you can't get her to come after the 3rd attempt, you know you're going to be dumped pretty soon...