The Student Room Group

why does my friend hate cambridge?

My best friend has just finnished her first year at Cambridge and she's really hating it. I'm going to visit her this Thursday to cheer her up. She's made friends and goes to 'formals' etc but she just really doesn't like it. She's found the exams and the work load really tough to keep up with and at Christmas and easter she cried when she had to go back. I'm kind of concerned and don't know what to say to her to help.

She says she's made friends who she spends a lot of time with in her college but she doesn't feel like she fits in. She's bored when she talks to them and there's never anything to do in Cambridge. She says the events are like school discos and she feels like she's in a high school bording school. Her exams have finnished now and apparently most people are staying in Cambridge for quite a while because there are events but she wants to come home with me when I leave next Monday. I told her to stay because she might have fun and actually enjoy it but she said "what's the point, when I get home I'm going to tell my parents I'm switching to a different university."

I just can't believe this I think she's making a huge mistake. I understand how she's feeling because I wouldn't want to be somewhere really quiet, I firmed Newcastle over Durham and am starting a masters at UCL in London next year but she was really excited and seemed to love Cambridge when she was applying last year. But a degree from Cambridge is amazing and I really think she should stick it out.

Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do about it? And do you have any advice I could give her on what she could do to make herself happier there. I really think she should stick it out and try and make the most of it rather than moving somewhere else.
Reply 1
Cool story girl!
wow I really think that she should rethink her decision- Cambridge is a great place to study!!(I'm aiming to study there!!) Maybe she's stressed out and is letting all her anger out on Cambridge? Because she did say that she had friends and all :confused:
Reply 3
My cousin also hated Cambridge after his first year and moved to Imperial instead, where he is immensely happier. If she truly hates it there, it will do more harm slugging through 2+ more years in a place she detests. If it were any other university TSR would just say "do what makes you happiest".
Reply 4
I know someone in a similar situation... she's started to loathe her course :frown:

On one hand, it's only another 2 years, and Cambridge terms are short and stuff. But on the other hand a first class degree from a slightly less prestigious uni has got to be better than a lower class degree from Cambridge? Okay probably not but still...
Reply 5
If you want to have a life and meet normal people go to one of the redbricks

Unfortuantely, that is what you give up when you go to oxbridge
Reply 6
Depends whether you would put the 'prestigiousness' of your uni over your own personal happiness or not. Personally I'd rather go somewhere I was happy even if it is over Cambridge, I mean if you can go to Cambridge it's not like the alternative is a crap uni is it. I'm not just talking about "Oh the parties suck" but if you actually loathe your course as well and can't stand to be there - why torture yourself.

I can understand what she means. When I went to a Cambridge open day and had sample lectures and stuff it was quite clear to me that I would loathe the course there. And friends from Cambridge have said they'd probably have been happier going to other unis. If you just didn't like it then yeah you might as well stick with it. But if you hate it so much that you don't want to go back and are crying at the thought of going back then maybe she should consider quitting. Then again it might just be culture shock and the second year she'd love it, although I would've thought that if that was going to happen it would already have happened since it's been a full year.
Reply 7
Yeah I can see your point about her grades starting to slip if she stays there. It just seems an amazing opportunity to give up on, employers much be really impressed by cambridge grads, I don't want her to regret it :/ and it's a bit late to apply to another university now, would she have to take a year out? What do you think i should say to her when i visit her on Thursday?

Barrister 2000 - she does have friends but she doesn't feel close to them like they are real friends. I don't really understand what she meant to be honest, she says she's friendly with them, they come in her room for study breaks, cups of tea and watch films together and go to formals together but she only hangs around with them so she's not lonely. She say's she's only friends with them cos they're the only people there and she finds them boring and wishes she'd gone somewhere where she had more in common with the people around her. She likes some aspects of the college system, always friendly people around etc but says it can also be quite isolating.
Reply 8
Several people who have gone to Oxford/Cambridge who I know have also hated it, especially in first year, but many of them later settle down in the second year and feel much happier.

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