(Original post by these_apples)
Also another Jimmy Carr one liner in response to Michelle McMannus's 4 stone weight loss.
"Thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic"
that is so damn funny!
whilst driving the other day i spotted a sign by a special needs school which said 'slow-children,' i thought 'that cant do much for their self esteem.' but then again they probably cant read. - jimmy carr
i rang up the local take away the other day and asked 'do you deliver?' the bloke said 'no, we do chicken, beef and fish.' - peter kay/ dave spikey lol
'I'll have an Xtra large Big Mac with all the trimmings. super french fries and a ... diet Coke!' The dad says 'Careful love, you'll fall down a plug hole'. I said 'A Plug hole? She wouldn't fall down a man hole!' Dave Spikey
Not sure if it's a one liner but it's pretty cool.
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -- Douglas Adams
Boothby is brilliant. I once saw him at the Comedy store and his was really good at improvising as well. The fire alarm accidently went off and his sharp mind quickly pointed out that 'The Fire Exits are marked by the finger nails of the previous audience.'
'Iraq, afghanistan, sudan. Cor, that was a badly planned cycle holiday' Milton Jones